STD Testing

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Pictured is the numbers I got (because they do it by number, not by name) and the information they will give you to get your results.

No real post this week. Just this very important PSA:

A lot of people like to claim the moral high ground. They say things like: “My ex wife cheated but I was always faithful.”

And it’s all well and good to think that someone is a nice, principled individual and that they are probably telling the truth. Maybe they seem honest and trustworthy.

But I don’t care. Get tested anyway. Every time you find a new partner, trade STD tests.

In preparation to see my husband, I went off to the Multnomah Free Clinic for STD tests. It was sort of a pain since they don’t do Herpes and I had to go to a separate clinic down the block for that. It was $20 for the bulk of the tests, and another $39 for the Herpes test. Yes, that is expensive to someone who doesn’t make much and I understand when people make that argument. But as I have said before, condoms aren’t 100% effective (in fact they are far less effective against some diseases) and responsible people get tested.

Please be a responsible person.

If you Google “Free STD testing” you can usually find a clinic in your area. And while it can be kind of a pain, it is well worth it for the piece of mind.

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A Night With Two Boys

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Note: This is a fantasy scenario I’m writing in hopes of giving my husband ideas for his upcoming visit to Portland. I thought I’d share because I often get asked about threesomes. If you’re more into MFF threesome, I have written about those too. 

I have had several MMF (male, male female) threesomes. But most of them have been with boys who liked both girls and boys, so mostly I have never been the center of attention.

Not tonight. Tonight is all about me.

They are nervous, so they have a few drinks. They don’t know each other, though I know both of them very well. My beautiful pet and my longtime Portland boyfriend, whom we’ll call Ryuu (because yahoo answers suggested it as a good name for a half Japanese boy).

They have awkward casual conversation for awhile, and then at my suggestion we move to the bedroom.

I immediately strip, because I think they will be more comfortable if I am naked. Because they are unsure what to do, I start touching myself, and wiggling to the music.

Eventually they are daring enough to join me, running their hands along my body, while carefully trying not to let their hands touch each other (Ryuu is only 22 but one of the rare Millennials who is very straight). Inside, I am laughing a little at this. But I try not to let them see how amused I am by their nervousness.

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Finally, they are both interested enough to take off key articles of clothing. I smile, and get down on the floor. I invite Ryuu to come forward, opening my mouth and giving him a pointed look. He gets down onto his knees in front of me and I start to suck him.

Pet needs no invitation. Seeing this, he grabs my hips and plunges his cock into my pussy. I wince, because it has been awhile and he is shockingly large. Inwardly I am smiling, enjoying every moment of having two men inside of me at once.

There is something so exciting about experiencing a variety of sensations at once.

When I grow tired of this I decide to mix it up. I sit up and have pet move beneath me. I whisper to Ryuu “I want you in my ass.”

I move my hips and let Pet slip into my pussy, while I feel a second cock pushing up, into my ass. It is a difficult angle for the boys, as they are both having to move while I hold still. I can tell they are having a hard time making it work, but I don’t care. I am loving this feeling. I feel so full, and so used. It’s fantastic.

When Pet finally gets frustrated, he pulls out of me and gets on his knees in front of me. While still being fucked in the ass, I lick my wet pussy juices off of Pet’s cock and start to suck him. He grabs his cock and starts moving his hand along the shaft, while still letting me suck the tip. And when he cums, he cums all over my lips and my chin. I lick it up and then put my face to the ground, letting Ryuu fuck me hard, until he cums in my ass.

I feel them both relax, and so I move off to the side, where I pull out my dildo and start fucking myself, while rubbing my clit. I moan as I get closer and closer, and then in one brilliant moment I cum.

I look up to see them watching. Pet is already ready again because he is young, and he loves to fuck. I meet his gaze and motion to the bathroom. The shower is big enough for several people, and we should get clean.

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We walk into the shower, Ryuu following. I rub soap all over my body and slowly rinse it off as they watch. Then I wrap myself in a towel and go lay down in the bed. They follow after they rinse off, and they start to play with me some more. Ryuu pinches my nipples, because he knows that I like that. And Pet moves to lick my pussy; showing off a bit because he wants to show how interested he is in me having orgasms.

After they play awhile, they put me on my knees with my face pressed into a pillow, and they take turns fucking me. I love the feel of one cock going in, fucking me, and pulling out; only to feel another take it’s place. It feels like being passed around at a party and I love it. If I wasn’t so worried about STDs, I would totally do gang bangs. It is some of my favorite porn. I love the idea of being the center of attention for many men at once.

Eventually they both cum, one after the other. I can feel the wet, stickiness running out of me and down my legs. It feels so dirty, and so good.

We lay there for a moment, spent. Ryuu passes us a towel to wipe off with. My hair is matted against my neck, and I smile to myself.

After a bit, we all put our clothes back on. That slightly ashamed feeling returns to the room. None of us are sure what to say. So I go out for a smoke and they follow me. I talk about something completely unrelated to what just happened, and I smile a lot.

Pet and I collect our things and head back to our hotel room. I know he feels a little weird about what just happened. It is a strange way to meet my lover, who has been one of my companions while we were apart this last year. But I also know he is happy, because he has finally given me something I wanted. We have had a lot of threesomes, but he knew I wanted just once to be the center of attention. Today he gave me that. He cuddles against me in our hotel bed, and he is happy because his Mistress is happy.

Awkward perhaps, but a good night for us all.

 

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It’s My Birthday!

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Two years ago a friend of mine told me that I should write a blog. I’m still not sure I have anything to say that anyone would care about, but the “stats” on my blog seem to suggest that people are reading, so I guess I’l just carry on writing.

I’d like to take this opportunity to remind you that I do take suggestions, comments, or criticism. And since some people aren’t comfortable leaving the things they want to say in the comment section, remember that I have an e-mail address: ladyvioletemail@gmail.com

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I’m happy to write about any topic that I know about if you have questions, so remember to keep those questions coming.

Thanks for sticking with me the last two years, whoever you beautiful people are. It’s been fun, and I plan to continue.

I do try to get a post out once a week, though I’m doing a lot of travel this summer and moving countries again, so bear with me when I miss a post or two.

Cheers!

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New Sex Toy!

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A friend of mine quit his perfectly good job as an experimental particle physicist to make sex toys. When he quit, the university was somewhat surprised. Scientists do not often walk away from a research grant.  But he had a dream.

So he adopted the title “Doctor Extreme” (a reference to his real-life PHD, and what he is using it for all rolled in one) and began making sex toys.

The first invention was called the X-1, and it used a different kind of vibration technology than what had been used in the past. I wrote about it when it came out. But now he’s taken it up a notch with the Ambrosia Vibe, a dildo that is sensitive to touch, and connected to a vibrator. It’s best if you see it.

It has all kinds of applications, but as someone who often pegs my pet, I like how the vibrator can fit into the dildo to rest up against a girl’s lady parts while she’s fucking someone with the dildo. I think that could be a neat feeling, and I’d like to try it.

Anyway, the Indigogo campaign is doing well and you should contribute if you can, because it will help a real scientist look into really awesome ways for girls to get pleasure from sex, and that is something that makes me really excited.

As you know from many of my previous posts, women do not usually have vaginal orgasms. That means you can pound away all you want, and we’re not going to have much fun. But with science, new possibilities of enjoyment and fun are on the horizon, and I’m excited to see what Doctor Xtreme does not only with the Ambrosia Vibe, but with all his future inventions as well.

Deacon X at The Analogue Cafe

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Sunday I went to Deacon X Fetish Night at The Analogue cafe in downtown Portland.

For those who have never been to a fetish night, it is a great experience. There is usually a lot of different toys you can check out, like various whips and paddles, and a violet wand. If you’re new to kink, these “tastings” can help you figure out what you might like, and give you a chance to play in a risk-free environment without having to buy the toys first.

All new folks to the community should definitely take a night to go to a fetish event like Deacon X or a fetish prom, to have the opportunity to experiment.

I appreciate the fact that the first thing they did was put tape over both sides of my camera phone. This is to discourage pictures, since there is nudity. The girls who agree to be rope bottoms or anyone who does demos nude agree to put on a show for the guests, but NOT for the internet.

And there were some lovely performers. I particularly appreciated the girl who danced in a hula hoop suspended from the ceiling. I wish I could have found a picture online.

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I also want to mention that it was my second time seeing a guy in the Portland area who goes by Nobel. I had seen him before at The Velvet Rope with my brother. He’s one of the better rope suspension artists I have seen, and that’s saying a lot coming from me. If you’re ever in Portland, I’m told he teaches rope classes, and if you’re into Shibari, you should check it out.

It was a really good night and Portland kinksters can be very friendly at events. If you happen to be in Portland on a Sunday night when Deacon X is going on, I’d recommend checking it out.

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Gender is Different for Everyone

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I recently made a transgender woman very angry.

In the kink scene, you meet a lot of transgender folks. It’s a community full of taboos, and since there are such rigid gender stereotypes in most of the world, the “freaks” have to stick together.

And usually I’m good with that. Usually I’m very okay with letting people be whoever the hell they want to be, and to define themselves in any way they like. However, much like religious freedom, your gender identity and gender concepts do not define me. I get to be my own person too.

There was a conversation going on about hormones, and how much they effect a person’s personality. Often, people who mess with their hormones for any reason find themselves truly shocked at the personality changes this can cause. We all like to think that we’re 100% responsible for who we are. But we’re really not. We’re made up of all sorts of chemicals and hormones that effect us much more than we like to admit.

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So I chimed in. Because I had thyroid cancer, and the unbalanced hormones threw everything off. I found myself with more testosterone than a lot of men, plucking thick black facial hair and feeling aggressive all the time. But also, I stopped having my period.

For some girls, that wouldn’t effect their gender identity at all. They would still buy shoes or love styling hair or care about fashion. Or maybe they would still bake and do craft projects. Whatever. Because they were socialized as female, they would still have “female” traits that helped them identify with their gender.

But my dad wanted a son, and he raised me to be a boy. My childhood was all baseball, basketball, remote control cars, and blowing up my sister’s Babie Dolls with fireworks. I never identified with the female gender role cast by society, and I still don’t. So for ME, having a period was the thing that my guy friends teased me about that made me a girl. It was the only thing. I was as strong and fast and brave as them, but I had to buy tampons. And they teased me about it. I don’t mind. Guys often show affection by teasing. It’s part of how we/they are.

However, for me, when my T-levels spiked and I stopped getting my period (which to this day I still don’t get,) that’s when I no longer felt like a girl.

I made the mistake of saying this to the group, when talking about the profound consequences of a change in hormones.

And this transgender girl threw a fit at me. She said I was a horrible person for thinking that having periods has anything to do with being female. She said my idea of my gender was messed up. She totally flipped out on me.

It’s not like I don’t understand why. I get it. She has XY chromosomes and even if she has surgery to change her genitalia when she’s done with the hormones, she’ll still never have a period.

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And you know; that does mean something. Transgender women act like it doesn’t mean something, but it does. It means they will never know the fear of getting pregnant. And they’ll never know the fear of BEING pregnant. So many teenage girls have truly horrific experiences with late periods and serious stress over accidentally finding yourself pregnant. And we stress about birth control. And we stress about the availability of abortions in some cases. An enormous part of being female is the fear of pregnancy and the consequences thereof. So no, trans women can take hormones and get surgery, but for now, that is one part of being female that is forever closed off to them.

Beyond that, it’s ridiculous to tell me that my gender identity can not be effected at all by my not having periods. Of course it can! It’s MY gender identity. I’m not defining anyone else’s gender or telling them how to feel about themselves. I’m just saying that I lost the thing that made ME feel like a girl, and now I mostly feel 100% male. I might live in a girl’s body, but that’s just the outside and I don’t place a lot of value on that. To me, I lost the thing that made me feel like a girl.

And if anyone should understand feeling like a gender whether or not your outsides match, it’s transgender folks.

Mostly I respect them because I would never have the courage to do that. I was born with XX chromosomes, and no matter what I feel like on the inside, my outsides will always reflect that. I’m not getting my breasts removed or having a fake penis installed. I’m not comfortable doing that to my body. But I respect people who do, because they have far more commitment than I do to make their outsides match their insides.

I just think everyone should remember to let people define their own gender how they want. It’s not fair to try to tell others what criteria they should define themselves by.

Fresh Eyes

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When I was in High School I was… not your average kid. Everyone called me a slut, and they were not wrong. I figured out that sex could be fun, and so I had a lot of it. I de-virginized many people, and I enjoyed opening their mind to a whole new world of amazing and wonderful feelings and fun.

I still try to open people’s minds whenever I can to the fun and liberating ideas I enjoy.

A few months ago, I came across a guy who had spent 20 years in an unhappy marriage with very little sex. His recent divorce had him sort of depressed and miserable. I decided I was going to help him cheer up a bit and realize that being single meant sex and fun. And so I did.

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Bringing someone into the community can be such a wonderful feeling that I just have to brag. The timid feel of holding a flogger for the first time. The feeling of taboo about rape fantasies or handcuffs. Just that whole thing where everything is bright and shiny and new.

I guess I am apathetic. I hate to say it, but it is true. There’s an expression that “It’s only kinky the first time.” And while I think it takes much longer than that for the newness to wear off, it does wear off eventually. After so many years, a person hanging from meat hooks is kind of just a Tuesday night. Things like a flogger or a dildo are so far from “kinky” in my mind that they seem fairly vanilla. I am jaded and I know it. It feels like it’s all been done, and it has for awhile now.

But bringing someone knew into the community can make things sparkle again for the first time. You can see it all through their eyes and it can all seem exciting again.

So remember, opening another person’s eyes to kink can be wonderful for you, as well as for them.

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