Period Sex

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To start: 50 Shades of Grey is a terrible series of books that portrays BDSM as abuse.

I am pretty upset about literally all the things that have been stirred up by these books/movies, and I have written about this before. No one should read those books, no one should watch the movies, and no one should judge my subculture based on those lies.

Kink is awesome.

But remember: 50 Shades of Grey is not kink.

It’s abuse.

If you want to get some handcuffs and try it, you should. But don’t act like all women should submit to physical and mental abuse, and like all men should be rich and buy you everything you want.

That’s just not the case.

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As much as 50 Shades is just horrible, the series did bring up a few things here and there that are worth talking about.

One of those things is period sex.

If you ask guys who have read the books what the most disgusting part is, most of them will skip right over the objectification of men as wallets with a penis, and skip right over the abuse of women that the series portrays.

Instead, they will say that the period sex is the most disgusting part.

I have two things that I really want to say about that.

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First: Women have to deal with periods. A lot of the time that really sucks. Periods come with bloating, pain, cramps, diarrhea, and embarrassment forced upon women by society. Science hasn’t really bothered to look into how to lessen the symptoms (since most scientists are men.)

Unless you have periods, you really can’t understand how horrible they are.

Society often shames women for having periods. You see it all over culture; where TV, movies, and magazines say it’s gross. Men on TV or movies often say they won’t have sex with a woman who is bleeding, and act as if the very idea is revolting.

Even the bible makes it out to be some shameful, dirty thing that is “unclean.”

Let me point out that it’s not pleasant to have a period, and it’s just adding insult to injury for people to act like the very act of being female and having a normal body that does normal things is somehow wrong and shameful.

I have had enough.

This is for all the men (and some women) who participate in the culture of associating periods and period sex with shame and disgust: Y’all need to grow up.

If your girlfriend/wife/lover is willing to have sex with you on her period (and she may not be because of the pain and diarrhea and stuff) then you should absolutely do it and not complain. Women put up with guys getting cum all over everything all month long. Many women think that cum is gross, but they don’t shame guys for cumming or tell them that they are foul and horrid for having normal biological functions.

Don’t act like a child about something that is normal, natural, and not a all shameful.

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Second, I am really tired of the whole “women are too emotional” thing.

Yes, sometimes estrogen surges can make women sad. That’s true.

However, testosterone makes men violent and irrational all month long.

Everyone has a right to have feelings, and to express those feelings. If you really care about the person that you are with, you will be willing to listen to them and help them through difficult emotions and situations.

So let’s try to act a little bit more rational and understand that equality is important. Don’t act like periods make women irrational, because they don’t. And definitely don’t act like periods are gross, because they are not. No one shames men for having biological functions. Let’s remember not to shame women, either.

Little Whore

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I met a girl recently who is open about her sexuality and fun, which is not something I get to experience often on Guam. We stayed up all night talking and had a great time. In the morning, I was thinking about something she said, and I sort of laughed about it. She said:

“I’m a little whore so I get tested all the time. I’m super-paranoid.”

So first of all, you should all get tested before every new partner because being responsible is cool. I like that my new friend feels that way.

However, what I want to talk about is my amusement over what might make someone a “little whore.”

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See, she didn’t give a number, and neither did I.

Obviously I call myself a “Magically Delicious Super Slut” because I think that slut-shaming is wrong, and that women should be allowed to be proud of being slutty in the same way that men are.

However, I just think it’s funny that neither of us gave a number. It was like “I am cool with you being a slut, but I don’t want to find out that you think 30 people is a lot when I have slept with 200.”

It just made me giggle that even among sluts, we still fear slut-shaming because of the world that we live in.

So let’s remember: Don’t slut-shame. Women should be allowed to be proud of being slutty little whores, because that is what equality is really all about.

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Best Of Post

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Well, it’s time for those of us who use the Western Calendar to think about the new year. I suppose those who use the Lunar Calendar might be thinking ahead as well. Anyway, it’s the time of year when you see a lot of “Best Of” posts.

So, I decided to do the Best of the Magically Delicious Super Slut. That way, you can send a link to this post to your friends who aren’t already reading, and they will perhaps be impressed enough to come back.

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The most popular posts are always sex club reviews. You guys sure want to get out and fuck in front of people, don’t you? Unfortunately I have only lived in two countries, so most of my reviews are from those countries. There’s Club Desire and Club Yesica in South Korea, and then The Velvet Rope, The CSPC, and Club Sesso in the US. You should definitely let me know if you want to write a guest post about a sex club you have been to somewhere else. I would love to add to the collection.

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I put a lot of work into my Fetish Series. I’ll be honest; I am probably on an FBI watch list for Googling some of those things. However, it was a good series that covered a lot of ground, and I think it worked well to illustrate the point that there is a lot out there in terms of fetishes, and none of it is inherent bad.

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I have always been a huge supporter of women’s rights, and I am a huge fan of women standing up for themselves. So, you should definitely read about why Slut Shaming is Wrong. Lots of folks didn’t get the message and continued to send ignorant comments my way, so then I wrote Slut Shaming is Still Wrong. They are still some of my favorites.

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Of course I feel far too fondly about the post I wrote a few months after my wedding. It was a long-standing joke among my friends that no one would ever “catch me,” and that nothing on Earth could drag me to the alter. When I finally did get married, (only with the promise of an open relationship,) I was surprised to find that my friends were traditionalists in many ways, and expected me to conform to typical social conventions.

Of course there is a lot of educational stuff too, but I suppose you can find that on pretty much every kink blog these days, so it’s not really what makes me unique.

So now you have a Best Of post to show your friends, and if you missed any of those posts, maybe now you can take a second to check them out. Happy New Year!

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Overwhelmed

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I don’t usually get too personal, but I am just going to do a quick update.

While we were on vacation, my husband was hit by a car. This obviously ruined the vacation, but also has left us with a lot to deal with.

In addition, I am really busy with work and holiday cards (I send out about 100 holiday cards each year.)

So I think you might have to forgive me for being unable to find time to write. I know a lot of you check in every week for the new posts and I am sorry to do this, but my life has overwhelmed me and I need some time.

I’ll be back.

In the meantime, happy Kwanzaa, Merry Hanukkah, Happy Solstice, Merry Christmas, or you know, good whatever-you-celebrate.

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Dating Online and the Community

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The subject of dating has come up a lot in my life lately. You all know by now about the person I love in Arizona who is going through a divorce. I have been struggling to help him find things to be happy about now that he has lost his home and family.

It’s not easy.

His idea for dating was to go back through old flames and see if any of them were still around. I guess that makes sense. When you are hurt, go for the familiar.

Of course when that didn’t go well, I suggested online dating.

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He tried valiantly to meet girls off several sites, but none were very interested in talking abut ideas, and instead wanted to talk about people and events. If you don’t get the joke there, look up Eleanor Roosevelt.

So thus far, he has met with limited success and this has made him decide to give up on dating for the time being. I tried in vein to change his mind, and tried to talk about the virtues of getting to know new and exciting people, and how wonderful falling in love is.

Then I logged into Fetlife and I remembered that he’s right.

Dating does suck.

My bad.

I was wrong.

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Let me tell you about the two new prizewinning jerks who sent me messaged while I was trying to sell the idea that dating is wonderful.

Jerk Number One:

This guy messaged me with “Wat up you down to fuk?”

Let that sentence (bad grammar and spelling and all) sink in to your brain, and then realize that this is not a person I knew. This is a random stranger. I guess he’s new to the area (that’s literally all his profile said) and he doesn’t realize that it’s a small pond, and you can’t afford to be an asshat to even one person.

I tried to be polite, and respond by saying that he would benefit from having a profile picture and some information about himself. I went on to suggest that he should maybe treat women like people and start with “Hello.”

(No really, you can treat women like people. They even actually are people. I know that is hard for some folks to grasp, but it’s true!)

Naturally, Jerk Number One wrote back:

“Ur ugy anyway u fat cunt.”

So that’s one more swing and miss for me trying to civilize the masses one guy at a time. I honestly don’t know why I try. I should just ignore them like most girls do.

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P.S. It’s hilarious how some guys whine “I message girls all the time and they never respond.” See? That’s how you know they are a jerk. They send nasty messages all the time and women ignore them because most women don’t respond to abusive dickwads. If they were nice guys, women would respond. That’s how that works. 

Jerk Number Two:

This guy actually started out perfectly nice, and said he’d like to play scenes with me.

Normally, anyone who will talk to me nicely gets coffee at least. However, I noted that he was 65.

Now, I was molested as a child, so I have a thing about not dating older guys (and this one is ten years older than my father!) I am just not okay with it. If there are girls out there looking for a “daddy to spoil them” then more power to them! You do you. But I personally don’t do older guys.

I very nicely said that I am on the younger side of the 30’s (as indicted by my profile) and that I am uncomfortable dating older men. I offered to get coffee anyway, saying I am always happy to meet new people.

So what does this guy do? He writes back telling me that we’re all the same on the inside and that age doesn’t matter. Apparently it’s all a state of mind and I am a judgmental bitch.

Now, I doubt that he would have responded kindly to a 90-year-old woman hitting on him. So, I would submit that he is likely judgmental and prejudice about age himself; but only when the woman is the older party.

So that reminded me how much I hate dating, and how sometimes creepers hang out on fetlife.com these days just harass women. I hate that. I like to think of the kink community as a bunch of really nice people who all want to at least be friends. I like to think of us as inclusive and connected as a group by common weirdness.

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And yet, so often lately it seems like real world interactions ruin my hopeful views.

What happened?

I have been part of the kink community for 20 years and I never had to deal with the type of assholes that are around these days. Is this just how men are now? Have they all become total losers?

I mean, I never used to get harassed this much. I used to meet nice people through fetlife.com. Hell, I met my husband (who is my very favorite Pet) through fetlife.com! I feel like nearly every message I used to get resulted in a friendship, and I still think fondly of all those amazing people I used to meet around munches and fetlife and fetish proms.

And yet, lately it’s nothing but penis pictures and guys saying “Wut up slut.”

It’s like the quality of available males has diminished in the last decade to the point that there simply are not any more worth talking to. I haven’t met anyone worth my time in ages, and that is disappointing.

So maybe the person I love in Arizona is right. Maybe it’s time to give up on dating for awhile. At least I will always have my beloved Pet, so that is something!

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Club Yesica in Seoul

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I have written before about a sex club I attended in the Gangnam district of Seoul named Club Desire. Club Desire was my first experience with a South Korean Sex Club, and I am glad that I got the chance to see Club Yesica this time around during my brief escape from Guam.

The first time I went to Club Desire I was acting off directions I found on the Internet, and the person I spoke to had a very limited understanding of English so it was all a bit terrifying. A young girl wandering down dark alleys based on Internet directions has all the potential to go wrong, doesn’t she?

In contrast, going to Club Yesica was very easy. I simply called the number, which is +82-010-2831-9588, and a very kind man in charge of foreign guest relations was able to give me directions to a local landmark, and then come meet me in person to walk me into the club. It was far more like meeting a friend than it was like going to a sex club because of the kind welcome.

Koreans, or foreign people in possession of a Korean ID number, can go to the Korean page of the website and make a reservation. The rest of us need to call the number to make a reservation, but can visit the English version of the website for a menu. Selection and price are very similar to Club Desire. In other words, expect to spend $200 on a small bottle of whiskey because that’s your price of admission per couple. If you’re an exhibitionist like me, it’s worth the steep price.

Now I want to clear a few things up because I always get questions:

First, don’t be that guy who messages me to ask “Can I go there by myself?” There are a lot of things you can be in the world which are varying degrees of pathetic. A sex club owner might be too nice to tell you this, but I am not: Being a single guy at a sex club is the height of pathetic. You are not going to get laid because everyone else came as a couple, and no one’s fetish is letting the creepy weirdo at the bar fuck their girlfriend. So what you end up being is a sad and alone voyeur who makes everyone else uncomfortable and that is not a cool thing to be. Just don’t do it.

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Yes, I am telling you that if you are a guy you need to bring a date. They have hookup clubs in Korea, and if you need to meet a girl you should go to one of them. But take a girl with you to the sex club or don’t go at all, okay?

Second, Korean sex clubs are not like US sex clubs. If you read my blog regularly, you will know that I have reviewed several US sex clubs, including The Velvet Rope and Club Sesso. These clubs are designed to have lots of dark corners and small spaces for people to sneak off to, and are more like a playground for adults to have sex in.

However, from my experince with Korean sex clubs I should warn you that they are very different. It’s just some lockers by the door (for your phone because obviously you can’t take pictures,) a bar area, and then an open room full of love seats. That’s basically it besides the bathroom.

Sex clubs in Korea also seem to be a group experience in a collective culture, so be prepared to wait and drink and smoke while everyone arrives and gets comfortable in one big room. If you wait until around 1:00am, they will all start having sex on their individual love seats, and you and your partner can do the same.

If you have sex before then, in my experience, you won’t start a trend. I am not sure why. But the last time I was at Club Desire with a partner and we had sex before it was “sexy time,” everyone just ignored us and carried on smoking and drinking.

Oh, and while my husband likes to pretend he doesn’t know the rules at Club Desire, remember that you can’t get away with that at Club Yesica. They are able to tell you the rules in English, so you have no excuse. Don’t approach couples and ask to switch partners. Use the bar tender as an intermediary. And make sure you get a towel and lay it down before you have sex so you don’t make a mess on your love seat. Try to follow the rules and be polite and respectful. According to folks at the club, Yesica knows the owner of Club Desire and the swingers scene in Korea is small. If you do anything to offend, you could find yourself kicked out of the entire scene, rather than just one club.

I have to confess that this last trip to Korea was sort of a mess because my husband got hit by a car in Seoul. I actually attended Club Yesica with a friend because my husband was too injured to make it. It was a really stressful vacation, and none of it went as planned. So, by the time I got to Club Yesica I was far too tired to stay as late as I would have needed to stay in order to have sex there. I wanted to, but I was just falling asleep on my feet by midnight.

I did get the chance to see a lot of great costumes (they were having a costume party the night I attended) and one very memorable dance by Batman. I got to check out the club, and see that it gets very busy (I was there on Friday night and they were full!) I even had a chance to talk very briefly with the owner, Yesica, who was very kind and welcoming.

I regret missing “the good part” of the night, but as I said, sometimes things just don’t go according to plan. Maybe next time I am in Korea I will be able to go back with my husband (who is expected to recover from being hit by the car.)

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Happy Halloween!

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I don’t normally post personal pictures on my Magically Delicious Super Slut blog, but I just love Halloween so much that I wanted to share pictures from last Halloween with you.

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This year, I am in on vacation for Halloween.

 

But while I am away, please enjoy my Mummy Meatballs, Candy Corn Cookies, and even a chicken from “50 Shades of Chicken” (A book my friend gave me.)

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This one is tied up with bacon! It was totally amazing, although I definitely had help with the chicken. (The rest I did on my own.)

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It was a great party, and the first time I actually made food of any kind specially for Halloween.

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I’m not really the sort of person who sees a thing in a magazine and then tries it, but in this case, I did.

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Halloween is my very favorite holiday, so I hope all you kinky kids have something special planned.

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I can’t wait to come home in November and tell you about my adventures on my trip!


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