I guess I should start by telling you about relative scarcity. Basically all you need to know is that the less of something there is to go around, the more people will want it. I’m not sure I can explain all the Psychology behind it, nor can I probably draw you a map of the market dynamics that economists have studied to create this model. The point is simple: The perceived value of goods is always more when they are less available.
I first learned this after being raped while living on the streets. It was a horrible experience that left me terribly emotionally broken and therefore emotionally unavailable to the people who tried to date me. I was surprised to realize that, the more I pushed someone away, the tighter they held on. At first I thought it was a few fluke relationships, but over time I began to see a pattern. Men liked a woman who didn’t like them back.
That wasn’t enough, of course. I had to take it a step farther. I decided that any guy who had been socialized by modern society would be willing to have a relationship outside the confines of monogamy. After all, men are somewhat instinctively predisposed to have many partners. Add to that the break-down of family in American culture, and the media which shows divorced men happily taking up with younger women and being lovable scamps who aren’t very good at being loyal. I’m not saying I agree with where our culture is at. I’m just saying it is what it is. The examples we see teach us that a life-long partner isn’t a thing any more, and no one ever seems to manage a long relationship without someone cheating.
I figure, why be the woman that clings tightly to a lover and tells them to be loyal? If they are not likely to be that way anyhow, one might as well be the first to declare monogamy pointless. Why not take it further and be the one to refuse to even try?
I suppose you could say that I am missing out on the devotion of a long-term partner who thinks only of me. You’d be right. In my defense though, I did try to have that a few times. I spent a few years with a boy I really loved who I was totally loyal to. When I got sick and it was unsure if I would get better, he left because he couldn’t handle it. I found out in a support group for long-term care patients that what happened to me was common, though no one talks about it. Most people do not stay with a partner when they have a long-term illness. What does a relationship really mean then, if it is so easily thrown away when one of the people is in need?
I looked at statistics for how many people admitted to cheating too. The amount of people that admit to it is pretty high, and that’s just the ones who admit to it. The last straw was living in Asia where wives are meant to accept that their husbands fuck hookers. It’s not anything unusual- it’s just Thursday night.
In all this, the women are at the disadvantage. They are the ones who become less and less desirable as they age. They are the ones more shamed for cheating. They are the ones who are not allowed to go fuck hookers or go to strip clubs. More than all of that, they are the ones more likely to stick by their partner through thick and thin because they are natural care-givers. In all these things, women have no power.
At first it wasn’t a conscious thought; rather just a thing I did. Now that I have had time to think it over, I realize I wanted POWER. I wanted to be the one in control and I never wanted anyone to make me feel powerless or undesirable again. The obvious solution in my mind was to keep a few men around at once (hence my relative scarcity would make me desirable) and to be a Dominatrix (so that everyone always did what I told them to.)
This is how I became what I now jokingly call “A Magically Delicious Super Slut.”
I am not at all ashamed of any of this, by the way. I don’t even have the common decency to think that “slut” is a shameful term. I am proud of it. I enjoy sex, and I will not be made to feel that I shouldn’t. I’ll not be made to feel like I am doing anything wrong. I realize I offend the morals of some- but in my estimation that is because their morals are patriarchal and wrong. I’m writing the morals for a matriarchal society, and you better watch out because they are going to threaten your cultural paradigm.