My rape fantasy

So far it’s awful having Mr. Knight here. I shouldn’t say that- because it’s always good to have a guy pal to play video games and drink beer and watch TV with. We’re actually having a blast in the sense that it’s all the things I like about having guy friends, but without the hassle of finding an excuse to hang out. That is always the annoying part when one has guy friends, you know? It’s nice to have those lazy Sundays drinking beer and watching TV, but it’s like you have to make a good excuse to have that because no one really feels like they’re allowed to go out of their way to make “guy time” without looking like a jerk or a pussy or some shit. There’s just a stigma there somehow…

Oh, and I guess I should explain that even though I am a girl, I identify as a boy. I always have. I just happen to live in a girl’s body, and it’s complicated. My sexuality is actually a long and boring mess. I could go into it in detail, but I won’t just now. Anyway, I like my guy time and Mr. Knight and I have fun. He’s a good geek pal to hang out with and I’m not going to fault him for needing to crash on my couch.

The real problem is the way Mr. Knight smells. As much of a guy’s guy as I am visually and emotionally and in most every way, my sense of smell is female and I am so turned on by the way Mr. Knight smells. It’s making me crazy.

His clothes are laying around and they smell like him. The bedding he uses is folded in the living room and it smells like him too. And when he hasn’t showered and he crawls up to the loft to talk… the urge to rape him is nearly impossible to control. He’d struggle because he’s still in love with his ex and he doesn’t want to get tangled up in my shit. But even when guys struggle and don’t want it, they still get hard because that’s just a reaction. Hell, the struggling would make it more hot. I’m strong and I could take him. I could tie him to the railing of the loft and suck him until he was hard, and then fuck him while he tried to get away…

Do you see the problem? This is what I have been having waking fantasies about. Who imagines raping their friend? I never thought of it before… but then I’d never noticed his smell before. It’s not like we’ve ever hugged or touched. We may have fist bumped once or twice to say hello or goodbye, but we usually maintain personal bubbles. Had he not moved in, I would never have known that this young, innocent little boy smelled so fucking amazing.

So now I can’t have Mr. Uptight or Mr. Nice Guy over because my one-bedroom split level apartment doesn’t have enough privacy. I also can’t have sex with Mr. Knight because it would be wrong (since he’s in love with someone else). It is now time to work out other options… I usually bring people to me because this is where my toys are. Now it would seem that travel is required.

Next weekend my plans are to go stay with Mr. Nice Guy on Friday night (he lives in an apartment) and then go see Mr. Uptight during the day (he lives on base and I can’t stay the night but I can visit…) We’ll see how play away from home works out for me…

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