I’ve had a lot of people act really uptight at play parties and stuff lately. I feel like there’s this misconception that because BDSM involves pain, and sometimes discipline, it somehow has to be serious all the time. BDSM does not have to be taken too seriously. Lots of people have fun with it!
Perhaps some of this overly-serious behavior comes from the fact that the desire to get involved in the community is something people usually have for many years before they find a way in. I feel like BDSM urges often end up buried pretty deep in someones’ mind. By the time they finally get up the guts to express them, they’ve been feeling shame about having such urges for a long time. Don’t be ashamed! There is nothing wrong with wanting to join our awesome community!
There is also this misconception that has cropped up a lot because of 50 Shades of Grey, in which people think a submissive in bed equals a submissive all the time. On the contrary, I find that it is the most powerful, aggressive people who have the desire to submit sexually. I have had powerful men come to my dungeon, and I feel like it’s the control and leadership they display every day that makes them crave some total and complete submission at night.
Sure, some people are always submissive. However, I wouldn’t ever presume to make assumptions. I meet couples often where one is always telling the other what to do out in public, but then I’ll talk to them more and realize their roles reverse in bed.
Also, I have a of girls ask how they can incorporate sex into a scene where they are being a Domme. The have this idea that being fucked in a submissive act. It’s not; and it’s absolutely possible to be a female Domme and still have sex as part of your play. You just have to know what you want, and order your partner to do it.
I can’t dispel all the myths about the community in one post, but those are just a few things I’ve had on my mind lately that I needed to get out.