New Year’s Resolution

I have no idea what this penis is trying to tell me, but it looks serious...

I have no idea what this penis is trying to tell me, but it looks serious…

 

First: Happy New Year’s from the Magically Delicious Super Slut!

I really hate New Year’s Resolutions. With that said, I am going to make one anyway.

I started this blog a few months ago because a few people insisted that I should write about my experiences in the community. At the time, I knew nothing at all about blogs and I felt like I had nothing at all to say.

Over time I have become more comfortable with it- though I am still not sure what this blog is really for or what it is about.

Anyway my resolution is to post one entry a week, and for that entry to be posted on Monday. I feel like all the good bloggers choose a day and stick to it, so I will try to do that.

Also, I will try to figure out what this blog is about. I can’t promise anything about that. I imagine I’ll keep writing sexy entries and memories and tips all jumbled together. One step at a time…

On a personal note for those who follow me: I did finally take the virgin and it was fun. I think this is why I am the only one of my friends my age that doesn’t have wrinkles yet. Feeling old? Take one virgin and call me in the morning…

What is a play party?

It's not really related, but here is a penis lizard from Samcheok because it made me laugh- so maybe you'll laugh too.

It’s not really related, but here is a penis lizard from Samcheok because it made me laugh- so maybe you’ll laugh too.

I’m planing a play party, and a lot of people have asked me what that entails. I feel like I have come at how to explain it from every angle, and it’s actually really hard to describe since they are different with every organizer. I thought I should write a post about how I like to do things, just as an example for people.

So first thing’s first, a play party is typically where people bring their toys and let people try them, do show-and-tell, or in some way trade information and ideas.

I happen to know a guy who does amazing shibari and has a suspension rig, so all the play parties since I have met him have involved everyone that wants to getting a chance to get suspended. It’s really awesome.

Typically, I try to make my friends that do cool stuff teach what they know. So, if they’re good with rope, they’ll teach some knots. If they’re good at planing scenes, they’ll talk about that. I had one friend who was just amazing at fire play, and that was always fun to watch. Etc…

I also tend to work with people who will be presenting to create a hand-out, because it seems to me that people are less nervous when they get a piece of paper. I guess it makes it seem more official and less like a bunch of creepy kids doing sexual things in a sweaty room.

Everyone always assumes I am trying to set up on orgy when I first invite them to a party. I am never trying to do that. I have only ever had one orgy, and it wasn’t all that great. I prefer one or two people max- because otherwise I get distracted. But never mind that.

The point is- how does one learn about BDSM? Maybe they read blogs and go to reddit.com and watch videos online. That’s cool. But what happens when that’s not enough any more?  What happens when a person wants to actually see and try things? Well, that’s what a play party is for. I’m not going to claim that I know everything. No one should. Everyone you meet has something that they can teach you. I guess the idea behind a play party is to meet with others in the community and see what they can teach you.

I do demonstrations sometimes, but honestly, I prefer to let other people take the lead. If there is one characteristic of the community that makes me nuts, it’s the way everyone kind of seems to think their way is best. I don’t think my way is best. I think my way is how I do things, and I am happy to let other people do things the way they like. As such, I am always more interested to hear what others have to say.

When I do teach, I tend to give tips on scene negotiation since that is what I am best at. Having worked in a dungeon, I’ve had to talk to people in a frank and blunt way about what they want out of a scene, and then make it happen with the least amount of weird possible (since it was generally with someone I didn’t really know.) That mostly involves asking what they feel the most drawn to in kink, and then building a scene around it.

For example, I had a guy come to me once who was nervous as hell (as they mostly are) and he said he always wanted to be walked like a dog. So then I had to expand on that. That means follow up questions like: Will we play fetch? Shall I pet you and tell you that you are a good dog? Perhaps you would rather I beat you and tell you that you are a bad dog?

When you ask people these types of questions about a fetish they have repressed for a long time, they react in all sorts of unpredictable ways. Some of them giggle nervously and blush. Some get angry out of nowhere. Some are quickly offended because they are expecting judgement. You can never be sure what someone will say when talking about sex. It seems it is the hardest topic to talk about.

So when I do a workshop, I generally focus on talking with people about the idea that sex is not sinful or bad, and about how it’s okay to be frank about what you want. If you want someone to spank you, you have to ask.

I guess my most-used line would be: Those words inside your head? I can’t hear those!

With all that said; a play party will be different with every different person who sets it up. I have been to some where everyone was encouraged to be naked and they all flirted. I have been to some where people had sex in a semi-public setting. I have been to some where people played board games with their clothes on and talked about BDSM eventually- but not much.

The best way to be sure of what you are getting into is to ask. Some good questions to ask an organizer might be:

1. Should I bring toys?
2. Should I plan to take any items of clothing off/ or do people tend to get naked at these parties?
3. Is it mostly couples or single people?
4. What kind of activities can I expect?
5. What kind of clothes will people wear (BDSM or vanilla)?

Of course you should remember that in all settings, pictures are a big no-no. I have never met a group that was okay with cameras. We all have lives and jobs. We have families and/or kids. We can’t run the risk of pictures getting out of us in vinyl or leather at some fetish event.

One last thing I want to mention about play parties: I have set up more than I can count or remember. However, I obviously have never been able to take pictures at an event. That makes it hard when I move, because I have to start all over again with a new crowd of people and build up trust. This drives home an important point: There is no shortcut to trust. In the community we are all a little paranoid so be patient with people. None of us wants to be exposed as kinky without our permission.

In defence of monogamy

holdinghands

I’d like to write a piece in defence of monogamy. Those of you who know me will know it’s hardly on my behalf that I write this. I’ve never really pulled off monogamy for very long, and I don’t like it much. However, I’d like to take a step back and talk about how important it is to some people.

In the community, I think sometimes we fall into a certain mindset: “If you don’t like what I like, you just haven’t done it properly.”

I have heard people say this about all manner of things, from breath play to anal sex. They fall in love with something, and then they just assume everyone who doesn’t also love it is doing it wrong.

In the case of poly relationships, I am guilty of this. I tend to think that if playing with one person is fun, then playing with two will obviously be twice as fun for anyone. And yes, I am also a fan of threesomes and orgies. (Only with good friends!) I tend to have trouble sometimes understanding why people insist on sexual fidelity.

When I step back though, I realize that I really need to be more accepting.

No matter how much I love something, that doesn’t mean anyone else has to even like it. I think sometimes we all get a little forgetful about that, and we probably shouldn’t.

The moral of the story is: Let’s all remember that the things we like are the things we like. Let’s remember to be accepting of the limits that others have, and try not to ever push someone outside of their comfort zone.

New Idea

Gear Ties

Gear Ties

20121220_125421

I like rope as much as the next person, but sometimes it takes too much time. That’s why I love these Gear Ties I discovered awhile ago. They’re metal with a soft rubber outside, and they work so well for tying a person quickly.

If you’re really into rope then I guess they might not be your thing. And leather cuffs are prettier if you’re worried about that. Of course the best is some awesome bondage furniture to play on with leather straps. BUT if you can’t get any of those things, some of these works great!

An evening with this girl I used to know

Kink and Girls!
*Because of a request from a reader…

She walked up to my house in a white tank top and blue jeans; her pretty blonde hair tie up in a pink hair tie. My cute little girl, home from her first day at college. I’m so proud.

I was outside already, oiling the chain on my motorcycle. A cigarette was hanging from my mouth, but I flicked it when she walked up to me. I hugged her, and she brushed her lips against my ear and whispered “I’ve been thinking about you all day.” I smiled.

“Is that so?” I ask. “And what kind of things were you thinking about?”I love the way her eyes dance with excitement when she thinks she’s being naughty. She’s a good girl, even if she doesn’t realize it. She’s from a nice family and she grew up in a nice house. Her parents are married. She’s had a nice life. I love that she thinks she’s bad because she drinks beer and smokes cigarettes and dates me. Personally, I think there is nothing sexier than a good little girl who thinks she’s a badass.

“I was thinking about how I want you to fuck me like you did last night,” she says. “I was supposed to be taking notes in math class, but all I could think about was how hard I came last night.”I grin, and pick her up by throwing my shoulder into her waist standing. She squirms as she finds herself over my shoulder. She weighs almost nothing, since she’s so short and skinny. I’m not a huge girl, but I’m a solid 5 feet 8 inches, and I have been known to be spotted at a gym now and again. It’s not terribly hard to carry her into the house.I toss her onto the bed like she’s an object, because she likes it when I make her feel like I don’t care about her; and then I descend on her. She squirms and struggles while I remove her clothes and kiss and bite her all over. I love how she makes little shrieking noises and giggles.

Once she’s naked, I pull out the kimono ties. Leather cuffs and other BDSM gear freak her out, but she likes to be tied up as long as it doesn’t look scary. The kimono ties are silk, and while they are not ideal, they are pretty and they work because she doesn’t really struggle too much. She just likes to feel restrained. She thinks it’s naughty.Once she’s bound with her hands and feet behind her, she looks like a hog-tied calf and I take a moment to admire the view. Then I start to tease her. While my pretty little girl doesn’t like pain, she does enjoy sensation play. I admit, part of me wants to let loose and whip her as hard as I can sometimes, but I content myself to watching her react as I run a feather over her skin. She trembles when it touches somewhere sensitive, and gets goosebumps. I tease her until she’s wet and giving me the come-fuck-me look.I don’t untie her, but I spread her legs.  I rub her softly and feel how wet she is. Carefully, I slide a finger just a little bit inside her. She sighs. At the same time, I put a finger in her mouth. She starts to suck on it. Slowly, I push my finger deeper into her mouth, while at the same time adding fingers inside her pussy and pushing deeper inside.

We’ve been working on this; me and Ms. B. At first she was only okay with three fingers. It’s taken quite a bit of play, but we’ve moved up to four fingers and I have almost slid my whole fist inside. I think tonight may be the night. However, I am in no rush. I like to tease her- because she loves suspense.I withdraw, and I untie her. I love the way she is now that she is really turned on. She is completely focused on me and the look she has suggests that she’d do anything I asked. I find that girls like to turn their noses up at things until they’re hot and wet, and then everything goes. Ms. B is definitely that way.Now I tie her to the spreader bars I have. They’re not too scary looking, and even if they were, she’s got the come-fuck-me look when I take them out from under the bed so I decide she can handle it. She doesn’t protest as I tie her hands to the opposite ends of one bar, and her feet to the opposite ends of another.Once she’s spread out and turned on, I am more ruff with her. I bite her nipples, and hold my hand against her throat while I kiss her. I am careful to put pressure on the veins to the sides of her windpipe, while not actually pressing down on anything in the middle. Breath play is dangerous; though fun. I don’t want to really hurt my beautiful girl.

I grab her hair and move to smother her with my pussy. I move against her just a tiny bit, so she feels trapped. She’s said she likes that.

Then I flip around and start to play with her too. I hold myself up with one hand while sliding the other in and out of her slowly. She squirms in the most delightful way! The best part about being with a girl is the way they are so much more willing to squirm and moan. I love that so much. It makes me feel so powerful.

I’ve got my thumb pressed again the inside of my fingers, so my hand is folded into something as skinny as I can  make it. Still, I feel resistance when I get to my knuckles. I lick her more, trying to let my saliva run all over her as much as I can. She doesn’t like to use lube or toys because it “feels too kinky” and I do not argue with her because a good Domme listens carefully to their submissive and tries to make them comfortable, even when they are being silly. I will try and introduce new ideas to her, but only a little at a time.

As my tongue brushes her clit, she gets more and more excited. I can tell because, the more excited she is, the more eagerly she licks at my pussy, while struggling the whole time. In the candle light, I can see how she swells as blood rushes into her nether regions. What was once pale white skin is now deep red and her labia are swollen. Her clit is harder and harder against my tongue. Finally, I feel my hand slide all the way inside her. She groans in a wonderful way, and I hold it there for a moment and let her feel it, before sliding it back out. I don’t want to overwhelm her or risk tearing the skin. I know it’s meant to stretch, but I am cautious.

I stop playing with her pussy then, and instead slide a finger into her ass. She likes to pretend she thinks this is gross, but secretly she loves this. I know because almost immediately she begins to spasm and I can feel her cum. She screams my name, and I cant help but smile.

I crawl off of her and untie her. She looks up at me with the happiest look, and then I lay down and she puts her head on my chest. As she lays next to me, I can feel her tiny breasts pressed against me. I love how soft she is. It’s rare that I am lucky enough to play with a girl. Perhaps I am too picky, or perhaps I’m just more attractive to men. Lesbians don’t tend to like me, but that actually makes sense to me since I consider myself a guy (in a chick’s body- of course.) Whatever the case, when Ms. B lays against me sated and happy, I feel amazing. I cuddle her, and she snuggles against me. This is what happy feels like.

Sexuality and Ambigiousness

Who does think riding crops belong next to the snacks at a party?

Who doesn’t think riding crops belong next to the snacks at a party?

Popular culture seems to place a lot of limits on sexuality. I never really thought about it much, since I place no limits on my own sexuality. I meet people- male or female- and I play with them if I like them. I sometimes have vanilla sex; though I mostly have various kinds of kinky sex. The point is- I don’t restrict what I want based on cultural norms and I never have. (I was totally the girl in High school that let a guy put it in her butt.)

However, I have been with a lot of guys who are very insistent that they are “straight.” I’m not really sure what the fuck that actually means in practical terms- but in ideals, it seems they are meaning to say that they never find other males attractive.

I’ll skip right over the part about how I’m a guy. I live in a girl’s body so no one ever takes me seriously when I say it. And I’ve not considered sexual reassignment surgery because going from a girl to a boy is… harder than the other way around. But inside, when a guy tells me he’s not attracted to other guys, I laugh because if they’re sleeping with me then they kind of are.

That is not the point though- because this is not about me. This is about the idea that there is such a thing as being “straight.” I find it impossible to really believe that there are any men on Earth who have not had a moment where they thought another guy was attractive. And besides that, I’ve never met a guy who didn’t enjoy a little prostate stimulation when they got over the “ick factor” they felt at first. (It’s only kinky the first time, right?)

Of course, noticing a guy’s abs or enjoying getting pegged doesn’t make you gay. I’m certainly not saying that. I’m just saying that, in the newer generation where gender neutral stuff is more popular and they all grew up watching internet porn- sexuality just seems more fluid.

My friend said “It’s not gay if both guys are straight.” I had to take a second to think about it, but the more I think about it the more sense it makes. If a couple of guys who aren’t really gay have sex (just for the pleasure of it and all) then it isn’t really “gay” sex, is it?

I recently had a threesome with two guys. Both of them have said many times that they are straight. But, given that they ended up both wanting to play with me that night, they found themselves both naked and in the same bed. I saw the curiosity in one of my pet’s eyes as I was sucking the other one’s cock, and then he just went for it. He’d always considered himself straight and not into guys at all, but presented with a penis other than his own, he was curious. So they ended up playing with each other while I watched and I sat back and thought about how interesting it is that people are so easily swayed from their prejudice in the face of new experiences that might be fun.

Of course in the morning one of my pets decided he felt awkward about it and said he didn’t plan to do it again. The other seems to still be pretty comfortable with it. I suppose it’s the same with spinach. Some people try it and never want lettuce in a salad again. Some people try it and think it would be nice some times. And still others decide it’s not for them.

And really, why should sexuality be any different than spinach?

I just mean- why should you have to be SURE if you like it or not? And why should you have to choose to only have one thing and never the other?  You never know if you’ll like something or not until you do it. And even when you decide that you don’t like something, it seems like people usually regret the things that they don’t try- not the things they do try. And if you’re not sure or you think you’d only like it sometimes- that’s okay too.

To clarify, I know I sound like I’m describing “bisexual” people. I’m not. I’m saying that I think everyone is a little bisexual. Or at least- that you don’t have to define your sexuality in absolute terms and feel like those terms can never be changed.