Pretty Little Princess

The couch I tied her to

The couch I tied her to

She walked into my house nervous. Yet, it wasn’t the bad kind of nervous where you have an edge of fear and dread. It was the excited kind of nervous where you’re like a puppy jumping up and down. She was glad to be here.

This is meant to be a stand-alone scene. It is just a moment in time. We don’t really know one another, and we may never see each other again. But right now, in this moment, she wants me to Dominate her. She wants to be my little slut, and do all the things I say. She wants to please me.

Still, I don’t start right away. I  negotiate. I am always keen to get the ideas for a scene straight beforehand. That way, I can avoid anyone being disappointed later. When we are finished I tell her to strip. She is shy, and only takes off her shirt. I let it be, because I will enjoy undressing her anyway.

She is a work of art.

I imagine she weighs about 100 pounds, and she is slender, with curves in all the right places. Her ass has just enough shape to make it attractive  and her breasts are just big enough for my hands. Amazingly, I can see her stomach muscles. I take a moment to appreciate how much she must work out, and how impressive the results are.

I start by pulled her breasts out of her bra and using it to prop them up. They look nice this way, and I can appreciate her adorable, round nipples. I squeeze them until she flinches a little, so I can get an idea of how hard to be when we play. She said beforehand to be gentle and I will try, but I am not known for gentle.

Slowly I remove her skirt, and her panties. I have her step out of them. As I bend down to  toss them aside, I am distracted by her beauty and I find myself kissing all of her while she stands nearly naked in my living room. I kiss her legs, her ass, her back, and all along her shoulders and neck. I bite her ears softly, and she sighs a little. I want to drink in every inch of her.

I am almost ready to hit her. I take off her bra, and her breasts are free to rest against her body. She is certainly not the first  girl I have played with, but as I look at her in the candle light now, I am sure she is the most stunning! I know I should order her around, hit her, and fuck her. She came here to be abused. Yet, it’s so hard to stop licking her, covering her skin with kisses and nibbles and squeezes. As my hands run along her perfect body, I can not imagine anything more lovely.

I am reminded suddenly that I can be sentimental. I am not typically, because I mostly play with men. (They are much easier to get.) Yet, they do not evoke this sort of passion in me. For this delicate and beautiful creature, I could write poems. I could walk through fire if she asked. Women are so dangerous to me, and yet, so lovely. I am enthralled.

I tear myself away from her body and step back. I examine the toys I have. She brought a riding crop, and so I think I should try that first. I enjoy the way a good crop feels like an extension of myself. It’s like a little hand on a stick. I can use it to caress her breasts, but then I can pull it away and use it to slap them. I do this now, only lightly. I love the way they jump! She squeaks, because she was unprepared for the pain.

“Hold still now,” I whisper.

There’s no important reason to tell a submissive to hold still, I suppose. It’s meant as a command that can not be followed. Who can hold still and take it when they are really being hit? So when the victim jumps or squirms, you tell them they have earned more punishment because they were naughty.

Yet, as I begin to hit her harder, she does not jump. I actually hit her really hard a few times and welts raise on her back. Still, she doesn’t move. She stands up straight with perfect posture; feet together and shoulders back. She has been trained extremely well, and I am very impressed. It seems there is nothing about her that is not pleasing.

I switch to my flogger, because I enjoy the way it sounds when it slaps someone’s back. Her tiny frame makes a smaller target than I am used to, but I am surgical with my flogger. I can hit someone exactly where I mean to and exactly as hard as I mean to. I love when you get to know a toy well enough that you can use it as if it where part of your own body.

When I am done her back is red all over, with some pretty impressive welts on it. She hasn’t moved an inch and has hardly drawn a quick breath. Such a good girl.

I bend her over for a little bare-hand spanking, because I enjoy the way it feels on my hand. Of course though, once she is bent over, I can only think of her pussy, and I begin to rub her.

I command her to move then, and I tie her to my couch. Her arms are tied to the back, and her legs are spread wide apart. She looks wonderful tied there! I inspect her pussy and find it trimmed, and smelling lovely. I start to lick her, and she reacts then. She squirms and begins to moan in the most wonderful way. I slide a finger inside her, and find that she is so tiny and tight! I love the way her pussy grips my finger as it slides in and out. She moans louder and it sounds like she is about to cum, so I stop. I am not ready for that yet.

“No no,” I say. “I want to play so much more first.”

I untie her, and clip her cuffs on her hands together behind her back. I push her down on her knees in front of the couch, and tell her to pleasure me using only her tongue. While she does this, she must also keep her balance, with her hands restrained behind her. I giggle a little when she slumps forward, trying to find where she should be without her hands, and while blindfolded.

When she licks me it is perfect. Her tiny little tongue is so soft, and it feels amazing. I loose myself for a moment and forget where I am and what I am doing. All I can think about is her, and how good she feels. I particularly love the way she leans in and just rubs her face in my pussy. I can not enjoy it when someone goes down on me unless they love doing it. She does. I am in awe.

At some point I throw her on the table and fuck her with my strap on. I love the way she screams!  And, when I get frustrated that I can’t be pressed against her while I am fucking her, I stop, and I pick her up. I hold her there, with her legs wrapped around me like a tiny koala. I love being pressed against her like this. We fall onto the couch and roll together. We end up with me sitting, her on my lap, cuddling and rubbing and kissing each other. It’s the most amazing feeling ever! She plants little kisses on my forehead and I melt inside.

As we wind down, she whispers “That was perfect.” I wish I was a more eloquent person, because I want so much to express my happiness to her. Nothing I can think of in my head sounds good enough, so I cuddle her that much harder and whisper over and over that she is beautiful, as we go upstairs to bed.

I fall asleep with her in my arms, and I think she is perfect. Yes, it was a stand-alone scene. It was just a moment in time, and she will leave in the morning. Right here right now though, for this moment, she is my pretty little princess and I am the happiest Domme on Earth.

Club Desire

Shhhhh....

Shhhhh….

Finding kink in various places around the world can sometimes be challenging. Sex clubs are usually the best kept secret of a city. I’m going to write a short review of a place called Club Desire in Gangnam (a district of Seoul).

Basically, it’s a “secret” club where you make a reservation (via the web site), go there and have a drink, and then when the club fills up you have sex. I guess it’s not very kinky. They have paddles and whips hanging on one wall, but no one has ever used them when I was there. If you’re kink isn’t Voyeurism or being an Exhibitionist, you may not like it. It’s really just the chance to watch others have sex and let others watch you.

The last time I went, I took a friend who was visiting from the USA. He had been interested in the idea of having sex in front of people. Sadly, he got very nervous once we were actually there and couldn’t really stay hard. It happens sometimes, yeah? So instead he went down on me for ages while the people around us watched me squirm and scream. In fact, a few couples even had the bar tender come up and ask if we would swap. (Swinging happens at this club, but you can’t approach a couple directly. You have to have the bartender serve as an intermediary.)

Anyway, I have always had fun at this club. Most people I have taken have been too nervous to enjoy it because they have not had a lot of public sex. However, there are great moments. I was watching this one couple last time I was there and the girl was beautiful. When she came she screamed “씨발!” in such a sexy way… (That’s kind of like the Korean equivalent of “Fuck.”)

As long as you remember to keep calm and enjoy the scenery, I think you’ll have a good time!

Public Kink

Hook Suspension

Hook Suspension

Lately I’ve been wondering about how public people make their kink, and what they are really worried about.

First, I should give you background. I have managed to work at a dungeon without feeling the need to tell people about it. My other job during the same time was at a bar, and I kept the two very separate.  Had I told the conservative folks at the dive bar about my other job, they would have lost their shit.

So I think what I am trying to say is; I am good at keeping quiet around people who are vanilla. Sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes I want to scream from the rooftops: “I just went to the BEST fetish party!” Yet I manage to avoid talking about kink to co-workers, friends, and all the other people I interacted with.

Yes, it feels like a lie sometimes. I often wish it were like being gay, where I could say “this is just how I am and you should accept it!” But it’s not like being gay. (I hate when people make that comparison.) Gay people want the right to get married, and to kiss in public without anyone getting angry. Straight couples into BDSM can get married and kiss in the streets. Kink is really only something to be enjoyed in private or semi-public spaces. It doesn’t need to happen outside dungeons and clubs and house parties. There is really no reason to flog a submissive in the streets for the same reason you shouldn’t have sex in the street. It’s a sex act and those should be private. Therefore, you can’t really say others should have to accept it.

Of course there’s also the fact that, if you tell others, it could damage your career or relationships with vanilla people.

So I keep my kink to myself most of the time. Even at play parties I let others take the lead whenever I can, and I sit back and watch. I feel like kinky people can often think their way is the only way, so I generally avoid giving demos or teaching because I don’t want someone to say “Oh I do it this way and it’s much better.” That always annoys me.

An example is flogging. I really enjoy flogging, but I don’t like to do the approved figure-eight motion. You can’t hit as hard when you do that. I mostly play with submissives that like pain, and I like inflicting pain. I want to pull the tails back and snap them as hard as I can! I want to put all my weight into it and really raise welts! But that’s not the “approved notion” about how to flog someone and I have been criticized for it before.

And I do realize I came from a very extreme scene. When I was growing up, the kids I played with thought nothing of sticking meat hooks into their backs and being hung from the ceiling. I know other scenes are much more conservative, and of course, everyone has their rules.

So in general, if I am forced to present at all or give my opinion, I try to remind people that it’s just how I do things, and I am not trying to be bossy or tell others what to do. I am NOT one of those people that will harass you about protocol. I don’t care who hits on who, what paperwork you want to do or choose not to do, or how you want to play. Do your thing, people. Do your thing.

I consider myself softly spoken and I try to tone my personality down as much as I can. I know I am too high-energy for some people and certainly for some dungeons.

Make no mistake though- because I really can’t let you get this wrong: I am not ashamed of being kinky and I will not act ashamed!

So this is where the question of how “out” to be comes in.

I am open about my kink on fetlife.com and I am open about it to other kinky people. I am not secretive and I don’t think people should let paranoia control them.

Korea has spoiled me. They literally don’t give a shit about your personal life here. It’s understood that you might get drunk and throw up and be crazy at night, but that bears no connection at all to how you act at work. An example (which I was horrified about) is when my boss went to my apartment unannounced to look at my broken heater. I had my toys laid out on the dresser because I had cleaned them all before work, and she did not mention them to anyone ever or hold it against me. She had gone to my house and she understood that privacy is important in a personal space- as Koreans do. I love this about Korea. They let your personal life be your own.

Even in the states though- I am out in the scene. I do not hide who I am from other kinksters or make them guess about what I do or don’t do. I am up-front and direct. And I’m fine with curious vanilla people too. They’re pretty harmless and if they’re thinking about it, I’m cool with letting them come walk on the wild side and have a look.

The reason is this: There is never any evidence. We don’t allow photos at play parties without consent. If you took someone’s picture without asking, the entire crowd would flip out because we all know that is not okay. No one would defend you. It is the same at dungeons and fetish proms. You ask before you take a picture, and you do not post anything on the internet without permission.

Therefore, if someone wanted to “out” you, all they would have is words. They would say “So-and-so is into S&M” and you would say “You wish!” and laugh it off. No one takes hearsay seriously.

This is why I am comfortable in the community and do not seem to be concerned about people knowing that I am kinky. When I am at a fetish event, of course I am not concerned! I am with my people. I refuse to act ashamed of myself around my people! I refuse to be uptight and yell at anyone who even has a camera that they’re not using. I am not going to shy away from vanilla folks who turn up to see what it’s all about, nor am I going to yell at others who are making a choice to bring a trusted friend into the fold.

I guess my point is this: Do be careful, because being found out as kinky can still ruin your life. But, don’t be paranoid and harsh on anyone who doesn’t seem ashamed enough of who they are for your taste. I know everyone is “out” to different degrees, but lets not be rude to folks who are new to the community at a munch or a party or a dungeon. Let’s try to help people explore when they are ready, and not push them when they are not. Lets try to be respectful and kind.

Some Thoughts About Collars

This post may seem really elementary  However, in light of some questions I have been fielding lately, I feel like sometimes it’s okay to start at square one and try to explain even the simple stuff. I guess I should also remind you all of my usual disclaimer: I am not saying my way is the only one or the best. I’m just sharing what I know. You may do things differently and that’s cool too.

Okay, so let’s talk about collars. They are different for different occasions. When I first started playing with one of my pets, he put my Goth Collar on as a Play Collar… and I didn’t have the heart to correct him because he looked so cute!

So first off, what do I mean by Goth Collar? Here’s an example:

This would be a collar to wear out at a Goth Club

This would be a collar to wear out at a Goth Club

This is not a good collar for play. There are several reasons for this:

1. It’s decorative. I got it at Petco when I was 14, before going to my first Goth Club. I think it was meant to make a pit bull look cool or something. It’s got chains on it that are NOT strong or meant to be pulled on. It’s just meant to look cool.

2. It could be dangerous. Those chains could potentially get caught on something during a scene and that could be very bad for your submissive.

3. It’s too thin to slip fingers under for some light chocking. The edges are able to cut into skin, and that is never good.

The point is, this is a Goth Dress Up Collar. When I want to put my fake dreadlocks in and don some cheap PVC dress and dance at a Goth Club, I wear this collar. It means nothing and has no connection at all to BDSM. I just thought it looked cool.

Now, what kind of collar could you use for play? I recommend a thick collar with rounded edges. It should be designed for BDSM and intended to withstand pulling and such. All rings or chains on it should be strong and intended to be used for scenes- not decoration. In essence, you want something functional. Here’s what I had made by my buddy who does Renaissance Festivals.

A Good Play Collar

A Good Play Collar

Now, you can find sites that do custom collars designed for BDSM all over the internet. I had this one made for my pet after we had been playing for a few months. Note it’s single D-ring, well-anchored to the collar and capable of being used to attach a leash or other bondage equipment. Also note the rounded edges that won’t dig into the skin or leave marks. This is what you want in a play collar.

However, what if you are in a 24/7 power exchange? What if you want to show that your pet belongs to you when they are not in the house playing scenes with you? Well, that is when you need something more subtle and elegant. Here’s a good example from Wyred Slave.

A Collar For Daily Wear

A Collar For Daily Wear

This is a simple braided steel collar with a locking mechanism in the back. It uses a small allen key to open it. This collar is not intended for play. It can not be attached to a leash or cuffs. It’s just for wearing in public, to denote ownership. It’s subtle enough that vanilla people will think it’s just a pretty piece of jewelry, and yet heavy and tight enough to remind a submissive who they belong to as they go to work or out and about.

So now comes the questions about what a collar means. I can not tell you that. It means what you make it mean. I have been part of some formal ceremonies where people were joined in some way and a collar was used to signify their joining or belonging. I have known couples who placed a lot of meaning on the gift of a collar. It can mean a lot of things to a lot of people.

For me, if I have played with a pet long enough that I think I will keep them for a significant length of time, I will have a collar made for them. I don’t always explain to them what it means to me. Sometimes I just tell them I needed a collar in their neck size for when we play. Sometimes I tell them it is meant to show that they are mine. But to me, it always means I have taken them seriously enough to collar them, and that means I will always consider them to be a “pet” of mine. If they ever were to need my help, I would give it. If they ever needed to talk, I would listen. If I have a collar made for a pet, it means I like them enough to consider them part of my life, no matter where I travel or how far away I will be at times.

Again, that’s just me. You will find your own meaning. There is no “right” way to feel about BDSM and the toys we use for it. Everyone has their own definitions and opinions, and that’s okay.

Anyway, the point is that collars are a lot of fun, but you should always make sure you choose the right one for the job.

Various types of collars together

Various types of collars together