Going Away

It was a great weekend

It was a great weekend

I know I said I would write a post every Monday. And usually, the words flow out of me like water pouring from the sky in a rain storm.

Not today though. Today I am saying goodbye.

For the record, Korea is wonderful and anyone who want to come here totally should. I have had ALL THE FUN in this amazing country!

And yet… it’s time to go.

So this week instead of a post, I just want to say thank you. To all the folks who helped me throw fetish proms, play parties, and set up amazing scenes; You have been incredible! I can not tell you how much I have loved hanging out with you and how grateful I am for my life having a chance to meet and mingle with your life.

I will miss you all.

Take care. Be safe. Keep in touch.

I’ll write my next post from Thailand.

A Kinky Threesome

Her clothes, topped with pink panties, on my end table in the morning.

Her clothes, topped with pink panties, on my end table in the morning.

She walked in and the three of us sat around my table. I made tea. Pet is going to Top her tonight, and I am going to supervise. I might even jump in. I haven’t decided.

In the past, when pet told me he was a switch, I found him a Malaysian girl to Top. It was cute because she thanked me every time they played. However, I haven’t seen him as a Dominant and I am curious what that looks like. So, now I am sharing my pretty little princess with him. As I watch, he is doing his first formal scene negotiation, paperwork and all. She fills out the forms and he reads them with a smile. I clear the tea and he says to her:

“You should be naked now.”

She looks alarmed.

“You’re not serious!” she says to him. Then she looks at me for help. “He’s not serious, is he?”

I just smile.

She takes her clothes off slowly, and folds and stacks them on my end table. Pet watches like a hawk, and he is grinning from ear to ear. It is the most adorable scene to watch! I stand back while he puts her cuffs on.

He takes up her riding crop. He’s never used one before and he looks both nervous and excited. He tries it out, running it along her skin. He starts to hit her softly, but he’s clearly afraid to hurt her. This makes me smile.

I watch him as he toys with her with the crop, and then later with the flogger. He considers the nipple clamps, but seems to decide against them at the last minute. While he is considering the various toys, I decide I can no longer resist. I walk over to her and start to caress her pretty little frame. I love the way she leans into my touch, like a playful kitten.

When pet sees what I am doing, he joins me. She doesn’t seem to know what to do now, writhing against both of us while we run our hands along her body and kiss and bite her skin. At one point while I am biting her nipple and he is nibbling her neck, our eyes lock. I have felt, these last many months, a growing fondness for my pet. At that moment though, we are united in thought and purpose so perfectly, and we are moving in harmony over her body. It is perfect, and at that moment, I love him. Anyone who can share such an experience without jealousy or awkwardness; who can simply enjoy the series of perfect moments with me… well… what more could anyone ever ask for in another human being?

We devour her in a series of positions. We tie her to the couch. We play with her on the table. At one point, pet picks her up and holds her with her back to me, while I flog her. He tosses her around like she weighs nothing- and I know she DOES weigh nothing to him because I am twice her size and he can toss me around.

Eventually we go upstairs and they have sex while I watch. They are a mass of skinny legs, muscles, and heaving chests. I am enthralled They are more beautiful than the people in porn, and I can’t believe this much sexiness is actually in my bed right now. I reach out and touch her breasts, which are shaking as he fucks her. They are so perfect. Not for the first time, the night feels like a drunken dream, where everything is perfect because in your mind things can be just as you imagine them. It’s rare that my reality is this amazing, and I enjoy every second.

So many fun things happen that night.

At one point, pet wants to switch because she wants to see me beat him. I tie him to my balcony and hit him as hard as I can. When I use the flogger he jumps, and I snap it hard so the sound echoes off the walls. Pet cries out a few times. She winces at the sound, and he jumps in pain again as I switch to the crop. The whole time though, she grins. I hit him over and over, and she is just there in my chair looking on like an excited little kid.

“Why is this so hot?” she asks me.

I just smile.

After I beat my pet, I put him on the floor. He curls into a little ball, and she plays with him and pets his head while I finger him. He’s shy and doesn’t want me to fuck him in front of her, so I don’t. I just finger him and spank him. She seems very amused by this.

We all spend a lot of time cuddling each other on the floor. It’s where we ended up after sex on all the furniture. I watch them move against each other and I am amazed at how perfect their bodies look together, like a god and goddess on loan to me from some unknown heaven. Her skin glows softly in the candle light, a perfect amber color. When pet puts his arms around her his muscles flex and he looks so strong and powerful. They are incredible.

At some point, after we get into bed again.

Before we fall asleep, when she first comes upstairs, she lays with me. I hold her tightly in my arms and she whispers sweet words to thank me for the scenes, and to tell me how much fun she had. I hold her against me and feel her soft, perfect body.

This, right here, is what happy feels like.

Pet joins us and we put him in the middle. It’s winter and it’s very cold. Pet is warm. So while he spoons her, I spoon him. We drift off to sleep easily, and all of us are perfectly happy.

Getting in a Fight

I want you to hit me as hard as you can...

I want you to hit me as hard as you can…

I got some pretty negative responses at the last play party I went to when I said my pet and I got in a fight (to explain some bruises.)

I did explain that I asked him to spar with me and that I was in the mood to be violent in a non-structured way. Yet, the girl I was talking to kind of went off a little about how violence makes no sense to her and how she doesn’t think it is healthy.

I’m not going to say it is “healthy” because who fucking knows what’s really good for people and what’s not? I’ve got a degree in Psychology and all it taught me was that we really don’t understand the human mind very well.

However, I’d like to defend the idea of getting in a fight- if only for arguments’ sake.

To start, we are evenly matched. I outweigh him by about 40 pounds, but he is in the military and works out a lot. Plus, he has a lot of martial arts training. We’re about the same height, and even have the same size hands and feet. So, it’s not like it was an unfair fight where one person just beats up on the other. It’s fun to spar with someone you’re about evenly matched with because it’s a challenge  and besides, competitions are always more fun when they are close.

Let’s stand back from that though. Let’s look at the larger issue.

I’m not really a “violent person.” What I mean by that is; I don’t hit people in anger. If someone says something that pisses me off, I might walk away, but I will not hit them. I never play when I am angry either. Tying someone up and beating them when you’re mad just seems… troubling to me personally.

So if I’m not a violent person, why do I like to fight?

Well, one of the reason I imagine is testosterone  I have more than most girls and I always have. I saw the movie Fight Club, and I understood right away why someone would want to join. Testing your physical limits in this way is very liberating.

I think there may be a degree of habit mixed in. I have always been in mosh pits at metal shows, and it’s fun to run at people and crash into them. Not to mention I was a bar tender/ bouncer in a pretty ruff bar for awhile. I feel like maybe it’s somewhat unhealthy to walk away from a physical confrontation and think “that was fun,” but I also think it logically makes a lot of sense, particularly if you “won” said fight. And as it happens, I have done that a lot.

With play though, there is a line. I don’t really want to hurt pet. It’s not like I try to poke his eyes out or crush his junk like I would in a real life-or-death street fight. I hold back just enough, because I know I am fighting with someone I care deeply for and am meant to take care of and protect.

Also, pet likes to be punched. Not in the face or anything. I go for the thick patches of muscle on his back mostly. A lot of people kind of like being punched. If you like more thuddy pain than stinging pain, I few punches can feel nice. I tend to avoid kidneys and things like that, but during many scenes pet has begged me to punch him and I have because he’s solid muscle and I know he can take it.

When I fight with him, I’m not trying to hurt him. I’m not trying to get hurt. Of course there will be bruises and stuff, but I mean, there won’t be any lasting damage if we can help it. And I’m not doing it out of anger, or some weird hang-up where I am secretly violent and want to kill people. Just to be clear: I don’t want to kill anyone.

I think that if you don’t get it, there’s a good chance I can’t explain it to you. Still, it’s just a bit of (mostly) harmless fun.

I guess I’d just like to ask that- if you’re talking with someone about stuff they like to do, try not to judge them. As I have been telling people for years: assuming I am a violent socio-path with homicidal tendencies because I like to get in a fight now and again… that’s not really fair. Everyone likes different stuff, you know?

I’d like to leave you with a song I really love, because it seems somehow to fit the theme of this post:

Setting Up a Scene

Some paperwork and my Domme hat

Some paperwork and my Domme hat

I was asked to walk through setting up a stand-alone scene involving sex. I am going to give that a shot now. (Remember I don’t  have that much experience outside a dungeon, and my ideas are not meant to be taken as anything other than suggestions.) To define what I mean; stand alone scenes would be those that are not part of a relationship. Both parties have agreed they want to play, but they are not dating.

To start, I like to do paperwork. (Pictured above).

Yes, this can feel really silly sometimes. Paperwork is not the first thing most people think of when they think of sex. So let me explain why I do it.

1. Submissives often feel nervous about telling me what they want and what their boundaries are. In addition, many service-oriented subs are most interested in pleasing the person they are allowing to Dominate them, and so that further complicates things because they’re both shy about talking, and not keeping their own desires and limits in mind. It can make it hard to get solid answers to things. Having a checklist with “yes” and “no” is nice and solid.

2. There is a certain amount of nervousness that is always involved in playing with someone. If you don’t know the person well, that can be compounded quite a bit. Paperwork is a nice way to easy into things. You’re talking about sex and that makes things start to get exciting. But, it’s structured and feels safe.

3. If you plan to hit a person hard enough to leave marks, it never hurts to have a checklist where they said they wanted that (just in case). Most people are sane and nice enough. However, the odd crazy person can slip by and having consent forms and a checklist of things your submissive agreed to may not get you out of trouble, but it sure as hell won’t hurt.

I like to make tea during the whole paperwork experience. This is because it helps calm a person if they are sipping tea, since it’s such a normal activity. Also though, it sets a time limit. You have a cup of tea, but then it’s time to begin the scene. To clarify; I don’t mean a set-in-stone kind of thing. I just mean that in your head you can keep in mind that a cup of tea is about the right amount of time for a scene negotiation, and that when you clean up the teas cups you can sort of lead into play from there. It’s a nice way to naturally transition.

Dressing up helps too, in my opinion

Dressing up helps too, in my opinion

Second; clothes!

Sure, in a relationship you might not care about what you wear. I know a couple who like to play in pajamas because they want to be comfy while they play. That’s totally cool and like I always say; do your own thing! However in a stand-alone scene, I find that clothes can add an air of credibility to something that might otherwise feel uncomfortable. It’s hard to explain why, but it’s one of those things that I have noticed from trying it both ways. My guesses as to why it works are:

1. Big Domme boots and a scary hat and tend to help people find subspace. Playing with someone you don’t really know, it can be hard to feel trusting enough to go into subspace with them. However, there is just something about the boots that gets people’s attention and makes them feel more compliant.

2. I usually slip into the Domme role fine and feel 100% at home there. However some people can trigger a moment or two of nervousness or doubt. The right clothes can really give a person confidence though- as any social scientist will tell you. A big part of having the right head-space is often dressing the part.

Of course there is probably more to it, and it may be different for everyone. I can only speak to my own experience. It just seems to me that clothes make a big difference.

Make sure your toys are laid out and in easy reach

Make sure your toys are laid out and in easy reach

This is pretty obvious I guess, but make sure the toys you plan to use are all laid out. This allows your submissive to inspect them first and make sure they feel okay with everything. They may want to test the size of a ball gag or make sure a dildo doesn’t look too big. And of course, it also makes it easier for you later when you’re actually playing the scene.

I don’t have a picture for the last one. It’s common sense of course, but make sure to avoid leaving anything sharp or dangerous out. You may throw your submissive around. They may stumble. It’s best to make extra sure that all sharp edges and dangerous things are out of your play space. Also make sure there is nothing that will be in your way when you swing a whip or flogger or whatever.

In general, I focus on creating the best experiences I can. That means attention to detail, and it also means being mindful of all the little things you can do to set up a scene beforehand. That way, when you start to play, you’ll have nothing to worry about but the way you and your partner or partners feel.