Fetish Prom 2013 in Phoenix Arizona

 

Prom 2013 CoverPhoto

Prom 2013 CoverPhoto

 

So I went to a Horns and Halos event over the weekend. It was Fetish Prom 2013. I have to say, it was a really killer party. One of my very favorite bands, Hardwire, played the prom. And the headliner was a band called Hanzel and Gretyl. I hadn’t heard of them before, but they were pretty good. There were performances by all kinds of cool people, like Defenz Mechanism. There was so much good stuff that it’s a little hard to describe it all. I guess that’s the best way to really describe a prom- it’s sensory overload of kink.

Defenz Mechanism

Defenz Mechanism

 

I loved the vendor section with so many whips and chains to look at. The Violet Wand demos amused me to no end, since I brought my favorite pet and he loves electricity. The venue was comfortable, though I prefer indoor events. Club 910 Live was not the best location ever, but it wasn’t bad. The crowd was full of beautiful people, and there were even suspensions by Steve Hayworth.

Girl in a cage

Girl in a cage

When people in other countries or even other scenes outside of Arizona ask me to describe a Fetish Prom as I know it, the best I can do is this:

Whatever your fetish is, you will get to see some of it at Prom. People in cages, people suspended by hooks, people being beaten, music, strippers, and a whole lot of amazing costumes and outfits. A Fetish Prom is a chance to check out all the aspects of the fetish community and see what you like. It’s also the Disneyland of kink, because you can try things. Pet got put in a cage, hit on stage, electrocuted, and many other things. He ran around like a kid in a candy store trying everything, which is exactly what Prom is for.

Beatings on the side stage

Beatings on the side stage

I have never seen anything like Arizona Fetish proms anywhere else. I have seen wonderful gathers of cool people, and been to great munches and dungeon parties and all kinds of things. There is a lot of great kink stuff out there in the world. But Prom is something different. It’s huge. It’s over-the-top, and it’s amazing. I won’t even get into the after party here. That’s a whole other story. For now, I just want to thank James Bound and all of the good guys at Horns and Halos for another great night of crazy, kinky fun!

dancing

 

Picking Out A Title

I'm going ti say she looks like a pet

She Looks Like A Pet

 

I got asked recently how I choose to call my pet by the title of “pet.” This got me thinking about how hard it can be to define a relationship in the BDSM community. So, I guess I’m going to talk a little about that.

First, it’s really something you should talk about with the person you have the relationship with. Ergo, my blog can only do so much. I guess just bare that in mind, okay?

Now then, there are lots of different titles and they can mean different things to different people. I know that in some scenes, “pet” would mean something different than it does to me and my pet. Keep in mind that BDSM terms are something that change over time, and vary from scene to scene. What someone in Korea calls a pet might not be what someone in Thailand thinks a pet is.

That said, it seems to me that most relationships I come across have one person who is clearly more Dominant, and one person who is clearly more Submissive. So, in a wider sense, those terms are how one starts to define a BDSM relationship.

Beyond that, there are sub-categories that a relationship could fit into. Perhaps a Dominant controls every aspect of the Submissives’ life. In that case, the submissive might be better defined as a slave. Or perhaps they simply look out for them, but never tell them what to do. Then they might be less of a Dom and more of a Protector. In my case, I chose “pet,” even though we do not engage in pet play. (I don’t have a tail butt plug for him and he doesn’t crawl around on the floor much.) I feel it defines the relationship well because he is so much younger that I feel like he’s someone I have to take care of, as you would a pet. And besides, he loves to lay with his head in my lap and have his hair played with.

In any case, I feel like the terms you use to define a relationship are largely subjective. That can make it particularly complicated when you want to define your relationship for others. If  you need help, it always helps to bring it up at a munch (fetlife event for kinksters) and see what people in your local scene tend to use.

Also, leather families can play a role in finding a name. 

The concept behind a leather family is that you’ll have a group of kinksters that are all sort of bonded together in some way. Often, it will spring from one relationship with a poly couple, who then have pets who have other significant others. As the web grows, some people are more senior and some are less, and so they end up forming a hierarchy that is usually referred to as a leather family.

So in such a situation, the family often helps to define terms. 

I really terms for submissives like Pet, Slave, and Whore. And for me, I like Mistress, Master, or Godess for me. 

But be inventive! You can use pre-defined roles that exist when you start out, but over time, you will probably find a definition for each relationship you have that suits it. 

Infected Mushroom at The Monarch Theater

The Flier

The Flier

This past weekend I went to the event above at The Monarch Theater  The concert was great, and Infected Mushroom kicked ass.However, at the after party I noticed some things that really made me crazy and I want to go ahead and point out some big mistakes when playing at a dungeon party.

First: Never touch anyone without their consent. I don’t care if they are currently being fucked (as one girl was). That does not make them a slut, nor does it make them easy. They are not yours to touch. CONSENT is important.

Second: Someone that shouldn’t have even been at the party grabbed my riding crop and hit a girl he didn’t know. So unless you have permission, hands off other people’s toys! No, you can not “barrow it for a second” you enormous douche bag.

Third: Read the rules. To be fair, Devious Minds productions only had the rules for the club in ONE secluded corner and no one really gave a lecture before the play party started about behavior. Personally I think you don’t belong at a dungeon party unless you’ve looked into the rules for that sort of thing beforehand, but I also think Devious Minds could have done a MUCH BETTER job of making the rules available.

I understand that a party like this will always attract one or two assholes, but when someone is able to take their camera out and take a video in a closed play party without consent of the people involved, the security is not doing their job and the people involved are not doing their job. I had to call out several people on my own because no one who put the party together or who worked there was doing anything to stop all the bad behavior.

It was my first Devious Minds event. I am not in Arizona long, so I probably won’t end up at another Devious Minds event. I can’t judge a promotions company off of one event because that wouldn’t be fair. But, I think the after-hours play party could have done with a lot more supervision…

The Crowd Watching Infected Mushroom

The Crowd Watching Infected Mushroom