It was brought to my attention during a recent weekend trip that I need to go over some basics.
Today I will go over the basics of spankings.
Now of course, you can do whatever it is that you prefer and my advice is meant only as advice, and nothing more. I just want to give you some tips, and you can take them or leave them.
First, remember that as a good Dom, everything you do must be done with your submissive in mind. You do not want them to have a bad experience. So when you are planing a scene, you should look at it from their point of view.
I have no idea what situation you will have your submissive in when you decide to spank them. Perhaps they will be over your knee, bent over a couch, or bound and gagged. The situation isn’t important.
What is important is not to go nuts right away. Start light, to learn what your submissive can tolerate. Perhaps caress them a little, smack them lightly at first, and see how they react. You don’t want to start with a hard smack, because this will immediately put them into a defensive and uncomfortable mindset.
I tend to start with a few light taps, and slowly build into harder and harder hits. I try to vary where I hit my submissive, so I don’t make one spot too raw too quickly.
As you get to know a submissive better, you can learn more about what they enjoy. After a scene, perhaps your sub will tell you that you hit them too hard and they didn’t like it. Maybe they’ll say they like it harder. Maybe they’ll challenge you to leave them black and blue and unable to sit down. That has happened to me.
Just remember that it’s always polite to start out slow and build up over time. And don’t forget aftercare! If you’re into S&M, you need to learn to talk about sex. That’s just the way it is. You can do it laying together, sitting down over tea, or however is most comfortable for you. Just make sure to get feedback.