I Am A Shameless Promotions Whore

bdsm-heels

I used to have a magazine in my early 20’s and I have always been into promotions. I have helped bands and friends with small businesses and anyone doing something cool my whole life. I have earned myself the titled of “Shameless Promotions Whore,” which I am very proud of.

So I wanted to promote this blog.

I made a Facebook page, but it was hard! They only want real people on Facebook, and of course, I am not giving up any personal information, because this blog could ruin my professional career. While I have worked as a Dominatrix and I continue to be active in the BDSM community, I don’t use my real name at clubs. (I use a scene name instead.)

Actually, just a tangent: Everyone should use a scene name and try not to appear in pictures. There is no reason you can’t chose a normal name if you don’t want to be something like “Shadow” or “Rain.” You can have your scene name be “Kyle” or “Michelle.” It’s not about having an exotic name. It’s just about going by a different name than you would in your professional life.

Of course, the no pictures rule can get annoying sometimes. One of the huge issues I have when I move to a new scene is that I can’t prove that I have ever even been to a kink club before. This whole “pics or it didn’t happen” attitude doesn’t work when you throw private play parties where you don’t take pictures, and you go to private sex clubs where you have to lock your phone and everything else you have in a locker.

This can be a pain, HOWEVER, remember that there is a reason for it. Vanilla people are sometimes curious and sometimes okay with kink. But you can never predict how they will react, and sometimes they react very badly.

It’s pretty much the same thing as coming out as a atheist. That can loose you a job (though they will pretend it wasn’t over religion so that you can’t sue.) It can also loose you friends and family.

Kink is the same. You need to be careful who you tell.

With that in mind, I like Twitter because they don’t ask for your birthday or use facial recognition software on your pictures like Facebook does, (all very creepy!)

Anyway, if you have a Twitter, I’d love it if you followed me. It would help the cause of getting my little blog a bit more traffic, and I’d be much more inspired to write regularly if I had more than a few hundered readers. (No offense to the few hundred readers I DO have. You guys rock! But I’d love it if you told your friends about me.)

Thanks for listening to that rant. It was a bit long and rambling. Cheers from the Magically Delicious Super Slut!

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Portland

ferns

My summer was full of travel in the form of road trips and overseas flights. I saw cool places, had sex with awesome people, and all-in-all it was a great summer.

However, it’s time to settle down. It’s time to pick a place and stay for awhile. I’m pulling up a patch of the universe and calling it home. And that patch of the Universe is Portland, Oregon in the USA.

forest

I’ve only just arrived. I haven’t had time to go to a munch yet or check out one of the many sex clubs that Portland is meant to have. Hell, I have barely had the chance to hang my clothes up in my new closet!

If you are from Portland or you are living there now, please feel free to suggest cool places and cool things to do. I am all ears.

waterfall

After some very tropical weather in Korea and a terrible dry heat in the desert, I admit that I this 70 degree weather in Portland is all I can think about right now. It’s so fucking pretty outside that I can hardly stand it!

So my first adventures out of the house where to Oxbow Park and Eagle Creek, and various other forest trips.

But if you just give me a week or two to enjoy the amazing weather, I promise to get serious about meeting the folks in the kink scene here.

close-up-fern

I’ll get to the kink scene right after this next hiking trail…

Social Conventions Are Dicks

The traditional kiss picture

The traditional kiss picture

Until I got married, I had no idea how deeply the traditions surrounding marriage were rooted in everyone’s minds. I have spent most of my life in an alternative culture, and I was so very unprepared for how my vanilla friends, (and even some of my kink friends), reacted to the news that I was signing a piece of paper which they all seem to consider wildly significant.

My attempts to explain why I felt so different were wordy and sounded pompous.  Perhaps I can narrow it down in writing.

I hate this tradition

I hate this tradition

The first thing that was hard to get a handle on was all the tradition. It seems that every single woman I know has dreamed of someday wearing a white dress. I have not had this dream. Worse, I didn’t know that my lack of enthusiasm about a dress would actually upset people. Clearly, I had NO idea what a big deal wedding dresses were. (Maybe I’m an asshole for wearing black slacks and a T-shirt to my wedding. Maybe not. But I think that decision is up to me and my husband.)

I hate the cake in the face tradition too. I don’t care how old it is or why it started. I don’t need a cake, and I don’t need a cake shoved in my face.

And all the words that people usually speak at ceremonies make me nuts, like: The wife promises to love, honor, and obey her husband. Really? Obey? I think not.

All the social conversions surrounding marriage, right down to the idea that you need a public ceremony ALL piss me off.

Another example of my problem with stereotypes is the confusion about how a D/S relationship and a marriage can be going on at the same time. In an effort to understand the concept, my vanilla friends and some of my kinky ones took to calling Pet “the Wife.”

Now first of all, I don’t like how “wife” means the weaker person who is the maker of sandwiches and the bringer of beer. This is an awful and old stereotype that I would really like for society to move past.

In addition, Pet and I are on 100% even footing when we are not doing a scene. I would never ask him to make me a sandwich, and he would never ask me to make him one. We respect each other and we recognize each other as equals. Look; what I’m saying is that it evens out and there is no power dynamic between us outside of scenes. So basically, allowing that I think “the wife” meaning the submissive one is bullshit, the fact is that neither of us is “the wife.”

Again, social conventions are dicks.

And of course; rings

And of course; rings

This next bit will probably offend all the girls. Feel free to stop reading now, so as to avoid the urge to do angry things to me.

<rant>

Diamonds are a dick-measuring contest for girls. They all look at each other’s rock to see who has the bigger bit of shiny on their finger, and I hate this.

First, I don’t do the dick-measuring thing. I am not so insecure that I need to compare myself to someone else. I live up to my own standards and no one else gets a say in my value as a human.

Why it bugs me even more is because women do not buy themselves these rings. They actually base their self-worth on what they got someone else to buy them. Think about how awful that is for just a second! The measure of yourself is not your own ability to produce and contribute. The measure of yourself (if you are female) is meant to be the amount you can force someone else to value you at. An engagement ring is asking someone to assign worth in money to you as a person.

</rant>

I am sorry, female readers. I know that you’re going to want to tell me that it’s meant to be a sign of love and devotion and that if you really loved someone, even a small diamond would make you happy. I do see that side of it; but I think it is largely overshadowed by more negative things.

sex-starved-marriage-2

Oh, and the number one thing that pissed me off about getting married: The assumptions about sex.

I heard so much “Oh, your best sex is behind you now” teasing from people. And look, if you think that’s funny- you’re wrong. There is nothing funny about associating the concept of marriage with the idea of bad sex. It’s not okay, and you all need to stop that shit right now. I will continue to have sex with who I like, and with my husband. And I will LOVE it, if for no other reason than to spite the people who told me that good sex doesn’t happen within the confines of a marriage.

We’re still going to be poly, as we have always been. We’ll fall in and out of love with people, as we always have. And we’ll have lots of awesome sex with each other, too. I see no reason this should ever change. And don’t tell me things get stale in the bedroom after so many years. I have a boy I have kept around for almost 15 years now, and I have never gotten tired of fucking him. Seriously, every time I know I am going to see him I look forward to the sex. If anything, it has gotten better and better as we’ve gotten to know each other more and more.
So the point is this:

This is just my opinion, but I think marriage should be whatever you want it to be. You negotiate the terms for yourselves, and you create what kind of affiliation you want. I think every marriage should be free of past stereotypes and traditional expectations.

I got married. I’m glad I did it and I love my husband. But the process itself was a nightmare. I really wish society as a whole could agree to give this marriage thing a big makeover. Let’s not force others to do it the way we think it’s done, or the way we saw it in a movie. Let’s respect everyone’s rights to make their own traditions and their own rules about what a marriage is.

The Magical Slut Turns One

cake

Well kinky kiddos, it’s been one year since I started The Magically Delicious Super Slut. I hope I’ve provided some insight or entertainment over the last year. At the very least, I hope I have provided some useful erotica stories to give you crazy kids ideas. I’m always fond of saying that a wise person keeps their mouth shut as often as possible, and writing this blog went against every instinct I had. But, some people told me I should do it, and over time, others have convinced me it’s a worthwhile endeavor.

So as of now, I am going to consider this experiment a success, and I will keep writing kinky stories and tips and sharing things with you.

It just so happens that it is also my real-life birthday (as I started the blog last year around my birthday time.) So happy birthday to my blog, and happy birthday to me. Here’s to another great year!

The Birthday Hat is what made me HAVE to post this!

The Birthday Hat is what made me HAVE to post this!