On Distance



I have done a lot of long-distance relationships in my life, because I have traveled a lot. I have the bad habit of picking up and leaving places. In my 20’s I randomly moved to Hollywood, took off to Colorado, and ran off with the Renaissance Festival doing leather work. Then, at the end of my 20’s, I moved to South Korea. It’s been a planet-wide wander lust since then.

Because of this, I have a lot of experience dating at a distance. If you’re poly I think it’s easier because you end up spending time with other people. Cuddling, even if it’s not with the person you’re thinking of, will still produce cxytocin (a bonding hormone) and have positive effects on your overall well-being.


Waiting for a walk


Usually I am fine with distance. I’m an independent person and I do well even if I am on my own. This is why picking up and moving various places seemed less insane to me than it did to my friends who had more roots. (Not having parents really probably helped with the lack of roots for me.)

But some moments distance is hard.

I had an acute moment of soul-wrenching pain the other day. My pet sent me a picture of himself, all dressed up in the leather harness and collar I bought him. And I immediately felt his loneliness, and knew that he put all that on wishing I was there to play with him. And I knew he missed me. And I felt just sick about it.



I think it’s a scaled-up version of how sad your dog looks standing at the door holding its leash in its mouth and looking all tragic. You KNOW they wanna go for a walk. You KNOW they wanna play outside. And worst of all, you know they depend on you for this thing.

And here I am, thousands of miles away, unable to take my pet for a walk.

I think this is the plight of any long-distance Domme. You feel responsible for the happiness of your pets and care deeply for them, so knowing they are lonely is such a tragic and painful feeling.

I hadn’t felt anything quite like that in a really long time. It may be the most I have ever missed anyone in my entire life. And I just wanted to share it, in case anyone else is dealing with distance right now and knows how I feel.

Last, because my pet is human and this is a metaphor:

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