The Best


Recently, one of my Portland pets asked me how he rated compare to other guys I had slept with. He said: “Tell me I am in the top 5 at least.”

I do not know if other people rank the people they sleep with. But I do not. I find the entire concept ridiculous. After all, variety is the spice of life and everyone fills different needs for me. In general I have trouble switching with the same person. I’m not good at going from the role of domme to the role of sub with a single individual. So for me, if a person is a good submissive then I appreciate them for that. And on rare occasions I find someone who can be a Dom for me, and when I do I enjoy that. And then you meet those amazing people who are really good at going down on girls and who can make you cum over and over. And those are great too, (sometimes even good enough for me to write about).

And of course I love sex with women a little more than sex with men, as I have always leaned in the female direction when it comes to attraction, so there’s that whole thing to consider too.

Anyway, it’s just an unfair question to ask someone how you rank in their little black book. It’s one of the many unfair questions that women get asked, along with questions from guys about if their penises are big enough. (What the hell are we supposed to say to that?!)

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I really think it’s not fair to ask how you rate to another person when it comes to sex. And you shouldn’t have to anyway! If you have good chemistry and the sex is great, then you should both just know it without saying anything. If you have to ask, it probably didn’t shake the Earth for me.

So I tried to avoid the question about a million different ways before finally making some shit up. I don’t remember what I said, but it was some platitude about being in the top 20 or so. I think out of around 200 people, anyone should take that as a compliment, but of course he was hurt that he wasn’t THE BEST.

I couldn’t help but think that other people often try to get you to fix their insecurities for them. Little do they realize, no one can fix your insecurities but you.

So take some advice from a magically delicious super slut; never ask where you rank. Just don’t do it.


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