Recently a friend posted this article, and because it comes up so much in kink couples and vanilla couples, let’s talk about it. Why can’t your male partner get off?
The problem is, women often blame themselves, thinking that there is something wrong with them. They panic that they are bad in bed, or that their vagina is somehow deffective. I have heard this so often from so many women, and I feel terrible for them because they are trapped in a whole mess of insecurity over something that is 99% of the time not their fault at all.
As the article points out, the most common reasons that men can not get off is:
One: They grip too hard when they masturbate (and masturbate too often) which causes them to not be able to enjoy actual sex.
Two: They watch too much porn and are used to a level of things going on at once that no human could provide them.
First, let’s talk about masturbation. When a woman masturbates, it is not something that can prevent her from having an orgasm later. Since women can have multiple orgasms in a row if they want, a little fun in the morning isn’t going to stop them from getting off at night. As such, they often don’t understand why a male partner can’t get off when they have masturbated that day (or the male partner does not admit to having masturbated that day).
Add to that the fact that most guys grip way too tight when they are pleasuring themselves, and no vagina will ever be as tight as a hand grasping with all its might.
Second, when I say porn is a problem, I don’t mean watching a porn all the way through with build up and credits. I mean the 15 different porn clips that your male partner probably watches at once, all being just a short video of some outrageous thing that you can’t/shouldn’t do for them (be gang-banged, fuck a donkey, etc…)
So when they are used to watching all these different porn clips at once (and all of extreme things), one person becomes less than they need to have an orgasm.
These things are not your fault as a woman. Not at all. Your male partner can lay off the porn and the masturbation to help these problems go away. But don’t ever let him make you feel responsible. You are not responsible at all.
Sorry guys. I’ve just run into too many women who are being made to feel bad because of their male partner’s life choices and it’s simply not fair to them to keep blaming themselves.