I recently had a conversation that made me want to point something out that everyone may not realize.

Some folks get into kink because they have a passing interest. Maybe they feel like they are missing out on secret fun that everyone else is having, or maybe they just want to spice up the sex life in their relationship. But the point is, they came into the idea as adults.

At munches, people often talk about how they got into kink. For people who get interested later in life, the answer is often simple: a book they read, a movie they watched, overhearing a conversation, etc…

This is a completely valid way to get into the community.

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On the other hand, some people were born kinky. I know that to the first group, that doesn’t seem possible. To them, it’s a pastime to enhance their life. But many of the people that tell their “how I got into kink” stories at munches have to go back to childhood to explain.

I learned how to masturbate at five years old (which is about the age that most little girls figure it out.) I fantasized about getting kidnapped by the Borg from Star Trek, spankings, and other non-sexual but kinky things. It would be another ten years before I even realized that other people thought about sex when they masturbated.

Over the years, I have met a lot of people like me; all with similar stories. We always thought about kinky things from a young age. And for us, vanilla sex is missing something important.

Both groups are equally valid, but certainly it’s amazing to realize how different people are, and how we all came to the same place from different perspectives.

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