I am not a fashion buff. In fact, I have lived my entire life in the BDSM scene and I am completely unaware of what vanilla fashion is.
If it involves leather or vinyl, I have got you covered. Need advice on Domme boots? No worries. I am all about which chains look good with which harness.
I know kink clothes.
And yet, if you sat me down in front of some girl magazine with vanilla clothes in it, I would be helpless.
A friend recently brought to my attention that there are apparently things you shouldn’t wear in the the vanilla world after a certain age.
I promptly lost my shit.
There are a lot of reasons this bothers me, and I am going to try to calm down enough to write out those reasons in a rational way.
So first off, I am not trying to compete with anyone. If you are vanilla then good for you! I am not trying to tell you how to dress, how to have sex, or what to think. I am not trying to make myself feel better than you. I have always said, “You do you, and I will do me.”
Yes, I am over 30 and I wear my hair in pigtails. No, I don’t know how to do it in other styles and I really don’t care. I am going to throw a purple wig on anyway when I get my kink on, so the nonsense grey/brown mess that is on top of my head at the moment is not of any consequence to me. I don’t care. And more to the point: why should you?
If I am dating you, then I suppose you can have an opinion on my fashion sense. But let’s by honest; it’s not likely that even then I will care what you think. I do me. If you don’t like me, then find someone you do like and leave me alone. I have never had trouble getting a date or getting anything I want in life, so I think I am doing fine with whatever I am doing now. It’s working for me.
But then I thought back to a friend telling me that “romance novels weren’t my thing” after she didn’t like my recent book. And then I thought back to another friend telling me she “wouldn’t go out of the house” in the cheap sweatpants I wear to hike in. (Hey, the mud here is red. It stains clothes. I will not destroy my good clothes just to get exercise. Those sweatpants were on sale for $4!)
There is a whole lot of bullshit with women that I am just now learning about, and I don’t like it.
So I just want to throw this out there:
Don’t tell anyone else what to wear. Mind your own business. Don’t tell anyone how they should have sex, who they should have sex with, or what they should do in their private life. Just leave everyone else the hell alone, and do your own thing.
You can not pressure me into conformity. I am not that small-minded. And you shouldn’t let yourself be pressured into conformity either, because life is too damn short to spend your time living for everyone else.
So just stop it, and learn not to judge.
But to be funny, here are some things you actually shouldn’t wear over 30, or at all for that matter.