Impact play is another umbrella of things. It can be as innocent as a bare hand spanking, or as intense as a flogging with barbed wire.
Note: I want to reiterate that I am in no way saying that leaving permanent marks is wrong. However, I do feel that extra checking in is important when permanent marks are possible/expected. I have certainly had folks in the community tell me that I need to stop pushing my conservative agenda and shut up, because if someone wants to let their Dom pierce/tattoo/scar them, it’s none of my business.
I get that attitude. And yet, I think that if we are to claim that we are responsible as a community, then we should always make sure that a person who is going to have permanent marks is in a healthy state mentally, and that they understand what they are agreeing to.
Some impact play can leave permanent marks, so like with all things that can, I want to implore you to make sure that all parties understand what they are consenting to. Then, by all means, bring on the whips made of barbed wire if that’s what you want to do.
Now then, impact play can be something as innocent as a bare-handed spanking. I think most vanilla couples have tried that. It’s a fairly tame thing to do. As we always talk about, aim for the fatty areas and try to hit straight-on.
However, we can involve toys too. Here are some popular toys for impact play (by no means a complete list):
*Seriously, you can hit someone with anything. These are just a few common toys.
Each category of toy can be broken down farther. For example, with paddles, there are a lot of different kids. Some are wooden and light, which will cause a stinking pain and be more likely to break skin. Some are wooden, but very thick and heavy. This is more about the sensation of the impact, and about feeling your body move with each blow.
Then, some paddles are made of leather. They can be decorated with rivets like the one pictured above, or left plain. Again, how they will feel when used is a function of how long and wide they are, as well as how thick.
Regardless of what you use, the goal with impact play is generally to start out slow and soft; almost teasing. Then, slowly build to a more intense sensation. So when I am going to beat my sub with a riding crop, maybe I will start but just running it along his skin and letting him see it. Then I might start with a few soft swats in key areas. As things get going, then I will start to hit harder and more frequently.
This is not how everyone does it. You can do whatever you want. However, the general wisdom is that it is more pleasant for the sub if you build up to the harder hits, instead of starting out whacking them as hard as you can.
Obviously most of us want to avoid permanent damage. That means sticking to fatty areas and not hitting nerve clusters. There are plenty of diagrams and charts on the internet, so remember to have a look at one before using a new toy, just to be safe.
Remember to check with your partner beforehand. You may have made a flogger out of computer chords which you are very proud of, but your partner might not be interested in having it used on them (plastic chords can do a lot of damage, after all.)
It’s fine to use household items to enhance your kink. Just be aware of what the items can do, and get consent from the person they will be used on.
I know one item that can be a touchy subject is a wooden spoon. Within a certain generation, it seems pretty much all kids were beaten by their mothers with wooden spoons. This can still be a touchy issue, as can any abuse suffered in childhood. So, again, try to be aware of your submissive’s state of mind at all times, and make sure that they are okay.
And remember, just because you draw the line at a little light flogger, doesn’t mean it’s wrong for someone to enjoy being covered with welts from a caning. Your kink is not my kink, and that’s okay.