Be Welcoming


Someone I care about is going through a break up.

On the one hand, that always sucks. No one wants to see people they care about in pain.

On the other hand, he’s always been interested in kink. And, his wife of nine years was not. In time, this break up might end up being an opportunity to explore more of himself.

At least, that’s what I hope.

The problem is that he doesn’t know anyone in his town who is into the kink scene, and he’s nervous about going to a munch by himself.

I am so used to stopping in new places and being excited to pop in to a munch and meet new kinksters. I don’t think of them as scary; I think of them as a social affair.

However, I had to step back and think about my first kink event.

I was nervous. I didn’t know anyone, and I went by myself. At first, no one talked to me. I just hung out in the corner of the coffee shop and just watched people talking.

However, I went again the next week and the one after that. Eventually people did talk to me, and I started to make friends.


I guess I just wanted to remind everyone that we all had a first munch. We all had those nervous feelings about jumping from fantasy to reality. The experience is universal, and it is something that we should all try to remember when we see a newbie at a munch.

Remember your first time. And when you see someone new, go say hello. Be friendly and be welcoming. Our community can always do with new members, and you never know what amazing new person you might meet.


3 thoughts on “Be Welcoming

  1. Hey, Lady Violet!

    Could you give me any recommendations for foreigner-friendly, it’s-ok-for-a-woman-to-show-up-alone workshops or social events in Incheon/Seoul? I speak some Korean, but it’s imperfect. I’m not looking for sex- just friendly faces and a little bit of bondage practice, or an intro to impact tools or something. I’d appreciate any pointers!

    • Your best bet is always to get involved with your local group. Korean kinksters has a lot of members, and many of them are awesome people! As with every new places, it takes some work and relationship-building to get started, but once you find the cool people, you know them. πŸ™‚

      I recommend trying a munch first, before any workshops. There are munches all the time in very public places where you would be perfectly safe by yourself and no one is expecting anything from you.

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