Polyamory Series: Resources


Welcome to the Polyamory Series. If you have not done so yet, please read the Introduction, and perhaps one or two of the previous posts as well.

There are a lot of misconceptions about polyamory, so reading the introduction is a good way to start out, before jumping into posts in the series.

Now then, on to the topic of he day: a collection of resources for poly-amorous people.


First up, The Ethical Slut is a lovely book about how sleeping around does not have to involve secrets and lies. In fact, it is more fun for everyone if it is all out in the open. I highly recommend picking up a copy and checking it out.

There is no related online community to pull worksheets and discussion topics from, but it is still a good book. I think anyone who is into sleeping around should check it out, even if they have no primary relationship and do not consider themselves to be poly.


Next, Opening Up.  While The Ethical Slut is more about sleeping around ethically, the focus of Opening Up is on having a solid primary relationship as an open couple. This is a good place to focus on, as many couples who are poly are also in one or two meaningful relationships at a time.

The author of Opening Up has an Online Community where you can volunteer for studies, get resources, and participate in discussions. If you don’t mind being a lab rat, this can be useful.


And my last book suggestion is More Than Two, which is a book that attempts to explain Polyamory for those who don’t know about it. This book also spawned an Online Community full of helpful resources for poly people.

If you are out and about in Poly communities, you will hear these books discussed ad nauseum, and everyone will tell you why one is better than the other. The truth is that different people need to hear different things, so buy all three and maybe a few more of the lesser known books, and slog through them all until you find the one that explains the parts that you need help with.

And remember, if you don’t want to buy anything, there are still load of folks like me out there who are blogging about this stuff and who are more than happy to answer questions if you need help. Part of the spirit of community is taking the time to talk to people who have questions, and I try to do my share (I get a lot of email and try to answer most of them politely and helpfully.)

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