Dating Separately vs Dating Together

My husband and I live on an isolated island, so we don’t have much opportunity to date. We’re in the middle of nowhere and it’s a very small community. (Thankfully we move to Oahu at the end of this year and so this forced monogamy is almost over!)

However, when we have the chance to date (everywhere but here), we usually do it separately. He does his thing; I do my thing. And then we meet up and share thoughts and feelings together.

On rare occasions, we have been lucky enough to find someone who was interested in both of us. One of the amazing humans who we had played with when we lived in Korea came to see us recently, and we all spent a week together. And, I guess I am just thinking about how sometimes that can work out.

I mean, it’s harder.

If I date someone that my husband does not date, that is one relationship.

If he dates someone that I do not date, that is a second relationship.

And then, since we are seeing each other, that makes a total of three relationships.

However, when you have a triad, there is so much more going on. You have each individual relationship on it’s own (his with her, his with me, me with her, me with him, her with him, her with me.) But then, you also have the overall dynamic when you are together. It’s an added layer of complication that I don’t usually opt for. I mean, I like to keep things simple. Extra stuff tends to make things more complicated.

But, I just want to celebrate the fact that sometimes it works out. With this one amazing, special, beautiful unicorn, it has always worked out. It’s never awkward of weird; just happy.

Those moments when things really go well are so rare and so awesome that I am just glad, and I just wanted to give a shout out to all the people who like to date couples and who blend seamlessly into what is already going on. Thank you for existing.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster

I realize that religion is completely irrelevant to kink. Please forgive me for this post which is out of character for my blog. It’s just that I have been MIA from the blog for a bit because I have written a very silly book. Now that it is done, I would love it if you guys could help me out with spreading the word. I promise it’s worth a look.

The book is called The New Testament of The Flying Spaghetti Monster; Dinner 2.0, and it is available for free here.

It is the bible for The Unitarian Church of Pasta; a more inclusive sect of Pastafarianism than has been previously conceived. The older style of Pastafarianism favored pirate garb and a heaven that was full of strippers and beer volcanoes. The New Testament doesn’t refute any of that, but it does suggest that some folks may prefer a nice glass of scotch and women who are not paid to pretend to like them. In other words, it’s not attacking the old church, but rather, adding to it.

While it is meant to be a funny book, it is also meant to address some of the problems in the world, and ways that Pastafarians may wish to work towards solving them. Yes, there are jokes. But it is my hope that there are also some noodles of wisdom mixed in that might appeal to folks. So, if you are already a Pastafarian, please check it out. If you are not already a Pastafarian; that’s okay (nobody’s perfect!) But, there has never been a better time to check out the most delicious religion on the market.

Please add the Prophet Violet Johnson as a friend on Facebook if you can, and “like” the Unitarian Church of Pasta page. It would also be great if you could follow the church on Twitter, and on Tumblr as well, if you wouldn’t mind. You’ll be getting in on the ground floor of what is going to be the most hilarious sect of Pastafarianism yet, and I promise you won’t be disappointed.

 

Thank you so much to all of you. I know I don’t return as many e-mails as I should (but thank you for sending them!) And, I know I don’t update the blog as often as I should. But you guys are the best, and I appreciate every single one of you.

 

 

Happy Pride

It’s Pride month, and I just want to wish you all a very happy Pride. That includes the people who are out, and the people who are in the closet, and everyone in between. That includes the gay people, the bi people, the pan-sexual people, and the asexual people. Whatever you are, it’s okay to be proud of yourself in spite of your lack of representation in culture and media. Everyone is valid. Everyone matters. And just because our stories aren’t being told; doesn’t mean we aren’t important.

I consider myself to be a boy in a girls body (so both genders,) as well as pan-sexual, poly-amorous, and kinky. There are no people like me in movies or on TV shows. There are no books with heroes or heroines that I can identify with. My orientation is always something I have to explain, because it’s not hetero so its “not normal.”

And you know what? I am still proud. I am a fabulous, adventurous, fun person and I have nothing to be ashamed of. That goes for all of you, as well. We are awesome, and we should have Pride!