First, Happy New Years! I hope 2014 is awesome for all of you.
It’s my 100th post on The Magically Delicious Super Slut. So today, I am going to talk about numbers.
Everyone knows that awkward question will find it’s way into conversation eventually when seeing someone new; “How many people have you slept with?”
And most people do not need to have a philosophical debate to answer this question. They casually say “8” or “35” and move on with their lives. Yay for them.
But I think it’s a philosophical question.
First, does being molested count? It’s not consensual. If a woman is to be shamed for the amount of people who have touched her naked body, it seems unfair to think being molested as a child should count against her.
Second, does being raped count into the numbers? Again, if it was against your will, why should it count? (And how many to add if you’re not sure?)
Third, does lesbian sex count? I mean, there doesn’t have to be penetration in lesbian sex (for boys who don’t know, the clitoris is not inside the vagina.) When you ask people to define sex, they often say being penetrated. But this excludes lesbians and would mean most of the women I slept with don’t count.
Last, does it really count if it’s at a sex club with a stranger? Oh I know you’ll say that this is a clear-cut yes and the only easy question here. But hear me out. I can tell you the first middle and last name of every single person I have ever loved. I KNOW when it counts. Sometimes. it absolutely means something and it absolutely matters.
I just don’t feel that way about sex clubs. As for example, in club desire, I once sat on a couch between two Korean men to share a glass of champagne with them. When they started kissing me, I could hardly object. The two of them kissed every inch of my body and took turns going down on me. Then they got distracted and I went back to my table. Does that count? They went down on me, which is the same as lesbian sex. So if lesbian sex counts then it should count. And yet it doesn’t feel at all like it does because at a sex club, a little licking and petting feels a lot like a handshake.
So it’s not easy for me to answer the question of how many people I have had sex with, and I don’t think it’s easy for anyone who’s had a rough life or is adventurous.
But if you really want to know, the tally is hovering around 100 at the moment (so I have something in common with my blog!)
Note: Always use condoms or dental dams. Ask any repeat partner that you want to play with more intimately to provide an STD test. You may think it’s awkward, but they’ll actually appreciate it. If they get the test and it comes back positive, they can usually get treated since most STDs are treatable. So yay for that! If they get the test and it comes back negative, they can feel relieved that they know for sure that they are clean. So no, it’s not weird to ask for people to get tested before you sleep with them, or even go down on them.
I often get asked if I have ever had an STD. Yes I have. I had HPV, and a bacterial infection. Both were easily treatable with antibiotics. Both I got from people I was using condoms with because sometimes condoms slip off or break. An STD is not usually the end of the world as long as you get tested and treated before you have sex with anyone else. I’ve never have to make the “I might have given you…” phone call, but I do not envy people who have.
Safe. Sane. Consensual.
Oh, and if you want to laugh, watch this video: (Many people feel this way after talking to me.)