I Am Not Sneaky

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Recently I made a new friend who I liked enough to have over at my house. However, I didn’t want her husband and my husband to sit there feeling weird while we talked, so I invited some of my other friends to make it more of a party, and less of a high-pressure situation.

This new friend of mine is vanilla, but she knew that my husband and I are kinky, and that we have other kinky friends. (That will be important in just a second.)

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So she came to the party and hung out. After a few drinks she asked me to go for a walk with her, and I agreed. And that’s when she dropped this little bomb on me. She said:

“I was worried it was going to be some kind of orgy because you are kinky. My husband and I didn’t know what we might be walking into.”

Now, I know you kinky people probably felt offended when you read that. I admit, I was a little taken aback myself.

However after some thought, I decided that I can see why a vanilla person might think that. I mean, these are people who hook up with strangers without trading STD tests, doing a scene negotiation, or any other preliminaries. They just haul off and have sex with people they don’t know without even talking about it beforehand. Vanilla folks really are just down with surprises. When you come from a group where things are surprises or not discussed, I guess I can see how you might think that other groups would be like that too.

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Those of us in the kink community are decidedly the opposite.

I mean, I have been in the kink community for 21 years, and no one has ever invited me to a surprise sex party. Everyone has always made it clear exactly what will be going on before the party starts.

I have never been to a play party where I was not told in advance what kind of play was okay/not allowed. I never been to a swinger’s party where the rules where not made VERY clear prior to showing up. I have never been to a dungeon where the orientation wasn’t a rule-heavy disclosure with a 5-page waiver to sign at the end.

We kink people really love our paperwork, discussion, and negotiations. We are not into surprises.

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When you think about it, it makes sense. If you are dating someone who has toys like a 15 inch dildo and a single-tail leather whip, you know damn well that you want to make your limits known up front before anything with ropes or handcuffs gets going.

Upon reflection, I realize that the kink community taught me to dislike surprise. When I was a kid I was fine with it. However, years of scene negotiations and consent forms later, I have become more open-minded and less inhibited than before, but also really not into surprises.

And you know what? I am cool with that. I will take the way I am over a vanilla person any day. No offense you lovely vanilla folks. You’re good people. But I will always be way more cautious and into full disclosure up front than a vanilla person will ever be.

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Lelo

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I want to thank the company Lelo for making sex toys for women.

I saw an add recently for the ORA 2, and I was absolutely thrilled that they actually made a sex toy which focuses on the tip of the clitoris (which is the part you want to stimulate to get a woman off.)

Most sex toys “for women” are dildos. And since women don’t really cum from penetration, this is pointless. It’s just another misconception about what men think women want, instead of what women actually want.

So Lelo is a breath of fresh air.

This one is meant to mimic a tongue, which I think is perfect.

Men get sex robots with “realistic hair” and the whole nine yards, but for women, it’s amazing to even get a sex toy that focuses on things that actually get us off.

I hope to get to try one out (of course they don’t ship things with batteries to Guam, but I am taking a trip to the US over the summer, so we’ll see…)

I’ll review it and let you ladies know if it actually feels like a tongue.

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Little Whore

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I met a girl recently who is open about her sexuality and fun, which is not something I get to experience often on Guam. We stayed up all night talking and had a great time. In the morning, I was thinking about something she said, and I sort of laughed about it. She said:

“I’m a little whore so I get tested all the time. I’m super-paranoid.”

So first of all, you should all get tested before every new partner because being responsible is cool. I like that my new friend feels that way.

However, what I want to talk about is my amusement over what might make someone a “little whore.”

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See, she didn’t give a number, and neither did I.

Obviously I call myself a “Magically Delicious Super Slut” because I think that slut-shaming is wrong, and that women should be allowed to be proud of being slutty in the same way that men are.

However, I just think it’s funny that neither of us gave a number. It was like “I am cool with you being a slut, but I don’t want to find out that you think 30 people is a lot when I have slept with 200.”

It just made me giggle that even among sluts, we still fear slut-shaming because of the world that we live in.

So let’s remember: Don’t slut-shame. Women should be allowed to be proud of being slutty little whores, because that is what equality is really all about.

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Promoting Your Blog

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I have never actually promoted this blog.

I wouldn’t really know how to start, I guess. I have had a few guest posts over the years, and those have helped gather me a few loyal fans.

I have even done a few guest posts as well, because I am told that is an important thing to do in order to network in the blogging world.

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In addition, I have written about some popular places like Club Desire, and that has helped me gain a few followers as well. And there’s posts about awesome places like The Velvet Rope and the CSPC. That helps.

It’s been three years, and I still only get about 150 hits a day on the site. However, I consider that pretty good when I think about how I started out “screaming into the void” without a single follower.

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However, I do want to ask for advice. I don’t want to hire an SEO company or anything sketchy like that.

I am just curious how other people promote their blogs, or if you had any suggestions. I am hardly a professional blogger. I just do this in my free time. However, I know some of you that read are professional bloggers, and I thought you might have tips.

As always, you can get in touch with me via my email at ladyvioletemail@gmail.com

(Or you can leave a comment on this post, of course.)

Thanks for reading!

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One More Thailand Post

The Airport in Bangkok

The Airport in Bangkok

A while ago I wrote about looking for the kink scene in Thailand. Sadly, I didn’t find kink.

What I did find was all the things Bangkok is famous for. Yes, there are huge markets full of people selling fake college degrees and scorpions to eat. There are lady-boys and prostitutes and wives for sale. And, there are ping pong ball shows and various other strange diversions.

So one hot, sweaty night in Bangkok, I was on Khoa San Road. It’s a famous spot where tourists gather, and where there are a lot of bars and clubs. A tuk-tuk driver came up to me and showed me a menu. It only had a few things on it. There was “Fish in Pussy,” “Eel in Pussy,” “Smoking Pussy,” and a few others.

I should mention that when I came to Thailand, I had no plan for what I would do. I showed up with the idea that I would go where the day took me. Sometimes I followed tourists around. Sometimes I hung out with locals. But every day, I went wherever the day took me. When the tuk-tuk driver showed me the menu, I decided the day was taking me to see a sex club.

Before I continue I want you to know that I feel really bad for going to a sex club in Thailand. I used to work at a Thai restaurant in the USA with a mail order bride. And I read Night Market to learn more about the sex trade in Thailand. I feel awful supporting such a huge, terrible industry. I am a bad person for going to see a ping pong show, and I do know that. Okay; so now that that is cleared up, here’s what happened…

We got to the club and the tuk-tuk driver told me he would stay outside. I walked into the building he gestured to, and it looked a little like a strip club. At the moment I walked in, there was a girl on stage with ping pong balls. An older lady came up and asked me what I wanted to see. I told her (from the menu) that I wanted to see an Eel show. I paid her 600 baht, which is about $20 US. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but it is. I was living very comfortably off of 100 baht a day for most of my time in Thailand.

The older lady took me to a private room and a woman came in with eels in her pussy. I mean; I didn’t know that. You couldn’t see them or anything. She was wearing a stripper-like outfit and she just pointed to the chair and told me to sit. Then she got on the bed, spread her legs, and pushed live eels out of her pussy.

You know, I was going to go into details about the eels… but it really ruined hentai for me and it was pretty tragic. The whole experience kind of made me sad. I felt really bad for the girls that worked there.

I guess the moral of this story is; don’t go to a brothel unless you can handle it. I am still feeling far to guilty about that night to describe it in too much detail. I’m not even sure the girl was 18. She looked really young. So… yeah. That’s the trouble I got into in Thailand.

New Year’s Resolution

I have no idea what this penis is trying to tell me, but it looks serious...

I have no idea what this penis is trying to tell me, but it looks serious…

 

First: Happy New Year’s from the Magically Delicious Super Slut!

I really hate New Year’s Resolutions. With that said, I am going to make one anyway.

I started this blog a few months ago because a few people insisted that I should write about my experiences in the community. At the time, I knew nothing at all about blogs and I felt like I had nothing at all to say.

Over time I have become more comfortable with it- though I am still not sure what this blog is really for or what it is about.

Anyway my resolution is to post one entry a week, and for that entry to be posted on Monday. I feel like all the good bloggers choose a day and stick to it, so I will try to do that.

Also, I will try to figure out what this blog is about. I can’t promise anything about that. I imagine I’ll keep writing sexy entries and memories and tips all jumbled together. One step at a time…

On a personal note for those who follow me: I did finally take the virgin and it was fun. I think this is why I am the only one of my friends my age that doesn’t have wrinkles yet. Feeling old? Take one virgin and call me in the morning…