Deacon X at The Analogue Cafe

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Sunday I went to Deacon X Fetish Night at The Analogue cafe in downtown Portland.

For those who have never been to a fetish night, it is a great experience. There is usually a lot of different toys you can check out, like various whips and paddles, and a violet wand. If you’re new to kink, these “tastings” can help you figure out what you might like, and give you a chance to play in a risk-free environment without having to buy the toys first.

All new folks to the community should definitely take a night to go to a fetish event like Deacon X or a fetish prom, to have the opportunity to experiment.

I appreciate the fact that the first thing they did was put tape over both sides of my camera phone. This is to discourage pictures, since there is nudity. The girls who agree to be rope bottoms or anyone who does demos nude agree to put on a show for the guests, but NOT for the internet.

And there were some lovely performers. I particularly appreciated the girl who danced in a hula hoop suspended from the ceiling. I wish I could have found a picture online.

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I also want to mention that it was my second time seeing a guy in the Portland area who goes by Nobel. I had seen him before at The Velvet Rope with my brother. He’s one of the better rope suspension artists I have seen, and that’s saying a lot coming from me. If you’re ever in Portland, I’m told he teaches rope classes, and if you’re into Shibari, you should check it out.

It was a really good night and Portland kinksters can be very friendly at events. If you happen to be in Portland on a Sunday night when Deacon X is going on, I’d recommend checking it out.

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Ron Jeremy’s Club Sesso in Portland

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I recently went to Club Sesso, which is a sex club in Portland owned by Ron Jeremy. Club Sesso is billed as Portland’s “upscale” swingers club. And I must admit, the art on the walls is nice, the walls themselves are nice, and the place is very polished and well designed. It does look very classy. I enjoyed the signs on the walls reminding people not too be creepy, since I think sometimes people at sex clubs DO need reminding of that fact, and I was very impressed with the fancy showers and the buffet of food.

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Now, I went on a kink night, which is different than their other nights. They have pajama parties and other themes, and most days it’s a black tie kind of affair that people get really dressed up for. But on Kink night I’m told the crowd is less… shall we say “fancy.” This is because it’s one of the rare nights where you can get in without buying a year membership.

The prices are steep. It’s $100 for couples, $150 for single guys, and $50 for single women, not including nightly door fees. And the dress code is usually pretty strict too. This combines to make the kink nights something of a free-for-all since the admission on those nights is only $20 and the dress code is more lax. I saw people in jeans and T-shirts, which I am told is never normally allowed.

Of course there are no cameras permitted inside, and they have lockers to keep your things in while you play. In most regards, it is similar to other sex clubs like Club Desire or The Velvet Rope. But in some ways it is very different.

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Club Sesso is like a dance club. The music is loud enough that you have to shout over it, and it was techno the night I was there. It’s also crowded. I was told that most nights it hosts about 200 people. I went on a Thursday and I am sure that there were that many people there.

It’s also a lot less secret than other sex clubs. It’s right in the middle of downtown Portland and there is all kinds of celebrity branding going on because the owner is (let’s face it) perhaps the biggest name in Pornography.

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I talked to several people who just go here to watch, so I also found that to be pretty different from most sex cubs that I have been to. That, combined with the massive crowds and the loud music, did not make it feel like a sex club. It made it feel like a dance club here sex was permitted.

There are private rooms, and a couple had sex next to me while I was plopped down on the couch relaxing because that’s okay too. The friendly DM staff keeps a careful eye on things that go on to make sure that it is all safe, sane, and consensual. You give your real name and ID at the door, and sign a form promising to accept full liability for everything you see and do inside.

I went with a date, but chose not to have sex there. Unlike most sex clubs I have been to, it didn’t seem heated. In fact, there seemed to be air conditioning going (or at least chilly night air being pumped in.) I was too cold to take my coat off, let alone all of my clothes. In addition, the rooms were mostly full and my date was not the type to fuck on a couch in front of people.

I think a lot of people have a lot of fun there every day, and that’s awesome. It’s certainly a sex-positive environment and I think the DMs were doing a great job and the bar staff was very snappy, as were the serving staff stocking the buffet. It seemed very clean and professional.

As for the loud music and the cold air; I’m sure some people like that kind of thing. Maybe I’m just getting old?

Also, I learned that Ron Jeremy has his own rum.

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An Orgy I Went To

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So while I was on vacation I went to an orgy. (I also went ice fishing and to an amusement park, but I guess you guys don’t want to hear about that, huh?)

First: It’s kind of hard to define what an orgy is. This was 6 couples (or 12 people) who started out just switching partners with each other and ended up sort of just having sex with everything around. I have no idea if it was planned or not, because my pet and I were the only English speakers there. It seemed unplanned, so I’m going to assume it just started out with some couples at a sex club and ended with a more orgy-like setting.

When I told my friends I was at an orgy, they had several questions. So I’ll write this post as a question and answer, since it seems like a fair format to do this topic in.

1. How many people did you have sex with?

Um… I’m not really sure. It’s all kind of a blur. I’m pretty sure that I had sex with all of them. But you know, it’s a dimly lit room and not everyone is memorable. It’s not like we got to exchanging names or talking about our lives with each other.

2. Was it fun?

A lot of it was fun, yes. I had some really interesting sex. And of course, it was all Asians, so I got to be the hot foreign girl with the big, blue eyes and the shaved pussy. Asian men go nuts over a shaved pussy. They all want to pet it and rub lube on it and stuff because Asian women don’t usually shave.

It was also fun from the perspective of watching my pet, which I always enjoy doing. I don’t mean to brag, but my pet has 6-pack abs, a beautifully toned body, and a huge cock. He is way hotter than the guys in porn. And yes, I do know how lucky I am. So watching him walk around, watching him fuck, and anything else I ever watch him do is just awesome. And anyway he gets this “sex smile” that is so brilliant and lights up my whole world.

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3. What about STDs?

This is a very valid question. Yes, I do worry about STDs. That’s why I use condoms. All the guys were annoyed about this because they weren’t using them with the other girls. But I insisted and they complied. My pet had the same experience with the girls, who saw him reach for a condom and said they didn’t like it, but he put it on anyway.

Still, STDs are spread from skin-to-skin contact and they are caught from oral sex as well as vaginal and anal sex. It’s totally possible to get something even using condoms and dental dams and being careful. So when I got home to the USA I went and got a full STD panel. Some of the tests require a wait of a few weeks before you can take them, so always ask your doctor if it’s too soon to take certain tests. My doctor thought it was silly of me to wait for the AIDS test, because he said it’s rare that it’s takes longer than a week or two to show up in your blood. But he agreed that it’s okay to be cautious and told me to come back in a few weeks for that one.

I do this all the time. I have been tested for STDs at least 40 times in my life. The tests have not always come back negative, but everything I have ever caught was easy to treat. Yes, I worry every single time.

But here’s the thing; I am not willing to live my life according to fears of what might happen. I am as careful as anyone can be given my lifestyle, and I am accepting of the fact that it might not be enough. I fly in planes even though they sometimes crash. I drive a car even though sometimes car accidents happen. I went skydiving even though sometimes parachutes don’t open. And I went to an orgy even though I might get an STD.

Some of my friends feel that this is irresponsible behavior. Maybe so. But I like sex, and I like unique situations involving sex. I feel that the risk is small, and that it is worth it. You may make a different choice, and that is okay too.

4. How do I get to be part of an orgy?

It’s funny because the ones I have been part of were surprise situations. I think it usually is. I don’t think there are a lot of planned orgies. (Though there are a lot of swingers clubs for older married folks.) I do not think I can answer this question. All I can say is; you increase your chances when you hang out in certain types of places around certain types of people.

5. Were there any negative parts?

Yes, there was one. A sort of overzealous guy was watching me and another guy have sex, and he tried to stick his fingers inside of me (while the other guy was inside of me). He had finger nails, and they cut me. This was actually when I tagged out of the orgy and left everyone to their fun.

6. Would you do it again?

Yes! With the exception of the very end, it was actually a lot of fun. I know it’s uncharacteristic for a girl to admit to even liking sex, let alone promiscuous orgy sex. But, it was fun! There was one point where I had 3 guys around me all playing with me at once and I felt like a total sex goddess. It was just like being in a porn. I love sex that feels just like a porn.

I'm including a frog orgy at the end because I have a terrible sense of humor and because the picture made me laugh

I’m including a frog orgy at the end because I have a terrible sense of humor and because the picture made me laugh

Portland Kink Event

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Recently I went to a Portland kink event called R.A.C.K.

I parked on a street nearby and it was a bit of a walk to the bar where the event was being held. Normally in such a circumstance, I would bring a bag and change at the club. One does not walk down the street in most cities in thigh-high vinyl boots, after all.

However, I had been promised that Portland was different. I had been promised that Portland was weird. So, I walked to the event dressed in thigh-high vinyl boots, a vinyl mini-skirt, and a top I had custom made while I was in Thailand. To the credit of all Portlandians, no one gave me a sideways glance. I was impressed.

Keep in mind, the Pacific Northwest is a unique place where freaks and geeks and all the weirdos of the night are welcome. I honestly had trouble telling it was Halloween, since it just looked like any old day in Portland.

To many, this will sound strange. Certainly my time in LA was dominated by preppy kids giving me dirty looks, and in Texas a man refused to sell me gas once based on my clothes. A cop in Scottsdale, Arizona once took my keys and my license plate on trumped up charges (which were dismissed in court) just to teach me a lesson for being “some kind of fucked up freak.” In Seoul, Korea one does not walk around in vinyl, even if it is Halloween. And freaky as Bangkok is supposed to be, they’re just not kinky there. I even went to what was supposed to be a very edgy show in Paris, which was quite tame and vanilla.

My point is, nowhere I have ever been can a person walk down the street dressed as a Dominatrix and not merit some kind of reaction.

Whatever else I have to say about Portland, I love them for being the sort of people that just don’t give a fuck what you think looks cool or what you do for fun.

I went to the event and found it was at a bar that was not closed to the public. Normal patrons mixed with (and seemed totally unaffected by) a large group of people who set up a St. Andrew’s cross, a table, and a violet wand. Spankings, whippings, and electrocutions commenced without an eyelid batted by the non-kink folks in the bar. And also, nudity seems legal here because no one batted at eye at that either.

My companion for the evening was casually unimpressed and informed me that Deccon X (and event on the last Sunday of the month here) is much better. At some point, I will have to find out. In the meantime, I was impressed and amused by the community here, and how little anyone cares that they do things in public.

Honestly, the lack of taboo makes it ever so slightly less erotic than it was before, but I’ll be damned if it didn’t feel good to walk with my head held high and not have anyone harass me just for being me.

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A Very Personal Update

Passport, and money!

Passport, and money!

I might be writing this more for myself than for you. My thoughts are less ordered than they usually are, due to a lot of major life-changes that happened all at once. I need to straighten out my head.

First, I live in Portland Oregon now. It is a wonderful city and I really enjoy it. It also gives e a chance to be near someone I have been dating for more than 10 years, and I am really enjoying that. He’ll hate me for this- but I’m going to refer to him as “Mr. Pretty” because of a nickname from when we were much younger people.

He and I didn’t start out kinky. At first, it was just a very passionate relationship between two people who had everything in common, while having none of the same characteristics. We grew up in small towns only a few miles apart. We both moved to the same desert and lived through our teen years there. We always ran in the same circles, and we even got matching tattoos at one point. Of course, we are nothing alike in terms of personality. He’s shy, socially awkward, and more capable with machines than with relationships. I’m out-going, popular, and great at relationships.

We have loved each other our whole adult lives, and adding kink to things only made it more exciting. Having him close to me makes everything better, because moving to a new place and a new part of the country is a huge change. It is smoothed over a lot by having someone here to cuddle up to and love.

From a trip Mr. Pretty and I took for my birthday.

From a trip Mr. Pretty and I took for my birthday.

Second, I had to move away from my very favorite Pet. He and I are two of a kind with the same views on monogamy, sex in general, relationships, and everything else. We have a really great bond, in terms of things we have in common and basically the same personality (with a few tweaks here and there.)

I was very excited to spend 6 weeks in South Korea with him this summer, visiting Club Desire and going to Fetish Play Parties with our friends. I wish I could have stayed, but circumstances won’t allow us to even think about living together for another year. And that’s okay. He’s in my chat window every day, and I know that some connections are too deep to be broken by time and space. I look forward to our future adventures.

Love lanterns in Korea

Love lanterns in Korea

Third, I am living with the family of someone I dated 2 years ago when I was in Korea, and who I wrote about previously as Mr. Bond. Being here, in his old room, I think of him every day when I wake up and every night when I fall asleep. Our relationship wasn’t that long, and it was ages ago, But… some things really haunt you.

Our first date was more than a day long. We met at a bar, in a nice public setting. We talked for hours before moving to a quieter and move private hookah lounge, and then eventually to my house. Most of my first dates don’t end at my place-but the really good ones do!

I’ll never forget that feeling of instant connection and instant emotion. I’ll never forget how happy I was, or how devastated I was when he moved to Georgia right after my birthday two years ago. For letting me borrow his family, and for being such an intense moment in my life, I will forever be grateful to Mr. Bond. I think I’ll always be in love with him.

At the family's beach house in Seaside. I love living with them.

At the family’s beach house in Seaside. I love living with them.

And then there’s my ex. All of the boys above are people I wouldn’t describe as “exes” because I am still in love with them and we never broke up or fought. But my ex and I are a whole other kettle of fish. We broke up, and I slunk away to Asia with my tail between my legs. It really messed my world up for a little bit.

So he asks if we can go to dinner when I move back to the United States. And dinner turns into hanging out, which turns into a road trip up the entire West Coast. And it turns out he’s changed about as much as a person can. I will respect his privacy, but I must say that the whole “people don’t change” thing is bullshit. Some people change into a COMPLETELY different person, and Mr. Ex did that.

It used to be that I hung out with him because I got to hear about the latest in Science and Engineering from him and the other guys working at his lab. I am a science geek to the extreme and being around so many smart people was blissful. But Mr. Ex was an uptight person with about a million personal hangups. And now he’s a great guy. Some changes were big enough that I know we’ll never date again, but I think I made a friend this summer that I will have for the rest of my life, and I am happy about that.

There is nothing in the whole world like an American Road Trip...

There is nothing in the whole world like an American Road Trip…

Then of course, there were the girls. I got to see my Pretty Little Princess, to fuck several girls at Club Desire, and to have sex with a very sweet girl we’ll call Darling Nicky. I enjoyed the hell out of all the women who let me play with them this summer, but it did inspire me to write about how women are too self-conscious. I stand by that. Maybe my wording wasn’t perfect or I rambled too much in that post. But the point remains: women needs to learn not to seek validation in being skinny or having the perfect body. Sure, those things are nice, but it’s not all that matters.

Random amusing things I saw this summer...

Random amusing things I saw this summer…

So now I am settling in to a new life and a new job that will last at least a year. I am back in the Untied States for the time being, and I am enjoying speaking my native language and learning some new stuff.

This summer was too intense to really sum up in a single post. I should give shouts out to my brother in Korea and to all the people who helped me along the way with places to stay, company, and great parties. I added a few new stamps to my passport, tore apart the drive train on a car, and really just did a crazy amount of cool things that I may never get around to writing about. But the things I really want you all to take away from this is: Thank you! To all of you who love me and help make my life the awesome adventure that it is, I am so much more grateful than you will ever know. You guys make my life so wonderful, and I hope you all know how much I care.

Peace and love to you all.

Peace and love to you all.

Directions to Seoul’s Best Secret; “Club Desire”

flickr photo by said&done - http://www.flickr.com/photos/faraz27989/388890852/

I haven’t been writing much about my weekly adventures, because I spent my summer traveling and I’m still getting settled in my new home. I have been SO BUSY!

However, my summer was really wild and I’ll give you one detail for now. The best part of it was getting to visit Club Desire in Seoul, South Korea one more time with my favorite pet. I realize I’ve never given very detailed information before (since I was always writing about the sex). So, now to tell you how to get there yourself:

Club Desire is located in Gangnam, which is a fancy neighborhood that is sort of like the Beverly Hills of Seoul. I’m sure you’ve heard of Gangnam because Psy made it famous with a song he wrote to make fun of the style-over-substance culture there. (If you think you’re sick of that song and you’re living in the USA, I promise you, you have no idea how much worse it was living in Korea when it came out.)

Anyway, to get to Club Desire, first, you have to make a reservation before you go. If you don’t get someone who speaks English the first time, try again later or have a Korean-speaking friend call for you.  The number is 010-2473-8433. You can visit their website if you speak Korean, but if you are a foreigner I’m afraid it’s not much help.

A business card from the club

A business card from the club

To get there, you take the line 7 subway to the Gangnam-Gu office stop. Go out exit 3. Walk straight out of the subway, and turn right at the first road. You will walk a bit up a hill, then go left at the first road. Then you’ll be walking downhill. On the right side of the road, look for a small sign that says “Bar S Live.” It looks a little like the entrance to an apartment building, and the area is a tiny bit sketchy. Up a few stairs, you’ll see a pad with a button to push; like an old-school apartment buzzer.

Push the button and say the name that you gave when you made your reservation. They will buzz you in. Then you’ll walk down into a basement. Go down to the bar, and pay to get a drink set. The prices are listed by 10,000, as per Koreans way of writing prices. This means that if you order a Jack Daniels set for “16,” you will pay 160,000 Korean Won.

After you pay for your drink set, you will be given a key and asked to put everything in a locker. You can keep condoms, lube, sex toys, and cigarettes with you. You can also keep some money or your whole wallet if you really think it’s necessary. I find it’s best to stuff as much of your clothes and belongings in the locker as you can, so none of it gets in your way while you’re having sex. Things get knocked over, glass gets broken, and it’s best to keep personal belongs out of harm’s way.

Of course, the main reason they want everything in a locker is to keep you from having any cameras or recording devices while you are there. Famous people visit this club, as do well-respected pillars of the community. No one wants their face to end up on a sex tape. If you’re really worried you can wear one of the masks hanging by the entrance to make it harder to recognize your face. But in my experience, Koreans are very respectful of rules, and of privacy.

Things to remember: It’s encouraged that you ask the bartender to talk to a couple before trying to swing with them. And it is all couples, so bring a partner. Sometimes they have wrist bands of different colors to indicate different preferences. If you’re unsure of any of the rules, ask the bar tender. If you do switch, what out! Many of the Koreans there have not seemed to think condoms were important. I would urge you all to remember that they really, really are. And of course, try to be polite because if you are a foreign person there, you are representing all of us, so don’t be an asshole!

Pet and I had a great time. We encounter three girls who squirted, were poured champagne by strangers, and all sorts of other cool stuff. I may write about it when I have a moment to really immerse myself in the memory. For now, I thought I’d make this an educational post for those who hope to visit a Korean sex club.

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One More Thailand Post

The Airport in Bangkok

The Airport in Bangkok

A while ago I wrote about looking for the kink scene in Thailand. Sadly, I didn’t find kink.

What I did find was all the things Bangkok is famous for. Yes, there are huge markets full of people selling fake college degrees and scorpions to eat. There are lady-boys and prostitutes and wives for sale. And, there are ping pong ball shows and various other strange diversions.

So one hot, sweaty night in Bangkok, I was on Khoa San Road. It’s a famous spot where tourists gather, and where there are a lot of bars and clubs. A tuk-tuk driver came up to me and showed me a menu. It only had a few things on it. There was “Fish in Pussy,” “Eel in Pussy,” “Smoking Pussy,” and a few others.

I should mention that when I came to Thailand, I had no plan for what I would do. I showed up with the idea that I would go where the day took me. Sometimes I followed tourists around. Sometimes I hung out with locals. But every day, I went wherever the day took me. When the tuk-tuk driver showed me the menu, I decided the day was taking me to see a sex club.

Before I continue I want you to know that I feel really bad for going to a sex club in Thailand. I used to work at a Thai restaurant in the USA with a mail order bride. And I read Night Market to learn more about the sex trade in Thailand. I feel awful supporting such a huge, terrible industry. I am a bad person for going to see a ping pong show, and I do know that. Okay; so now that that is cleared up, here’s what happened…

We got to the club and the tuk-tuk driver told me he would stay outside. I walked into the building he gestured to, and it looked a little like a strip club. At the moment I walked in, there was a girl on stage with ping pong balls. An older lady came up and asked me what I wanted to see. I told her (from the menu) that I wanted to see an Eel show. I paid her 600 baht, which is about $20 US. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but it is. I was living very comfortably off of 100 baht a day for most of my time in Thailand.

The older lady took me to a private room and a woman came in with eels in her pussy. I mean; I didn’t know that. You couldn’t see them or anything. She was wearing a stripper-like outfit and she just pointed to the chair and told me to sit. Then she got on the bed, spread her legs, and pushed live eels out of her pussy.

You know, I was going to go into details about the eels… but it really ruined hentai for me and it was pretty tragic. The whole experience kind of made me sad. I felt really bad for the girls that worked there.

I guess the moral of this story is; don’t go to a brothel unless you can handle it. I am still feeling far to guilty about that night to describe it in too much detail. I’m not even sure the girl was 18. She looked really young. So… yeah. That’s the trouble I got into in Thailand.