Fetish Series: Clothes

loboutin-sky-high-heels-300x300

I know a guy who has a pair of high heels under his bed. They’re not for him. He just hopes to find a girl who will wear them. It’s sort of like a Cinderella fetish, I guess (since shoe size is a thing.)

4a186c11da59a1693e950e47a5dadf7e

Me? I am completely in love with leather and latex. I could watch people walk around all day in leather or latex clothes, because I think they are so amazingly sexy.

c39df53ecdcd933d6758ec860ae10b93

My Pet adores anyone in Goth clothes. His theory is that anyone gains two points of attractiveness when they are dressed up as a Goth. So a 6 automatically becomes an 8.

Fashion-Women-2015-Autumn-Winter-Sexy-Black-font-b-Latex-b-font-Catsuits-Rubber-Fetish-Skinny

And there are a lot of fetishes about clothes! Not just kink fetishes either. Lots of vanilla people are really into specific clothes that turn them on.

images

Here is a list of just a few of the many, many clothing fetishes out there:

-Hoods
-Masks
-Lingerie
-Leather
-Latex
-Uniforms
-High Heels
-Corsets
-Cross-Dressing
-Formed Feminization
-Collars & Cuffs
-School Girl Outfits

download

I guess you could say that School Girl outfits are uniforms, but I gave them their own category because it seems like every single guy on Earth has a Fetish about School Girl uniforms, though not necessarily about any other uniforms.

c994e4f2-d60a-457d-84e5-42aafcbce767

It seems like all clothing-related fetishes belong in the same category. And yet, there is often judgement when some people think that some clothing-related fetishes are “too weird.”

diaper-woman

Example:

“I am completely fine with school girl uniforms even though it sexualizes children, but adult diaper play is sexualizing babies!”

“I don’t think that women in collars and leashes are weird, but I don’t like it when a Domme makes her male sub wear a dress.”

download (1)

Now look; I know that you might not be turned on by a girl in a diaper, or a guy dressed as bacon. Maybe men cross-dressing isn’t your turn on, or you get a little uncomfortable with women in “men’s clothes.”

That’s fair.

ladybeard_thumbs

However, I would ask that you not judge people who like different clothes than you do. I think all of us have some kind of clothing fetish, even if it’s just a guy in tight jeans and a cowboy hat. Most vanilla people have clothing fetishes, too. So let’s try to be tolerant of the fact that everyone is into different clothes and that’s okay.

4694656898_107d225ac0

24/7 Play

A rather cute couple

A rather cute couple

I recently got asked about the difference between 24/7 play and “only in the bedroom” play. So, thought I’d write a quick post about it.

First, I should mention that most of the couples I know fall somewhere in the middle. That is to say, you do not have to be exclusively one or the other. I think it happens in most couples that one person tends to lead and one person tends to follow.

I should also note that those roles are not always the same as a person’s BDSM roles. I know of lot of submissives who are very authoritative outside of the bedroom, and I know a lot of Dommes who are very easy-going and agreeable outside of the bedroom. So real-life roles and BDSM roles are not always the same.

But let’s skip the stories about CEOs who end up in a dungeon begging a girl in thigh-high boots to spank them. That is most certainly a thing, but it is not the subject of today’s post.

So BDSM “only in the bedroom” means just that. You walk out of the bedroom and become two individuals on even footing, with no power dynamic at play. That’s easy to understand.

Where it gets complicated is in a 24/7 power exchange. I think when people ask about the difference between BDSM in the bedroom and all the time, what they really want to know is how a 24/7 relationship works.

A 24/7 power exchange means that a couple finds ways to work BDSM into every aspect of their lives. The submissive will have a collar to wear in pubic. Something simple that does not attract unwanted attention. And their Dom or Domme will tell them things they must do each day, such as writing assignments (explore a scene you want to play in an e-mail to me), forced masturbation (you will masturbate until you orgasm in the bathroom at work,) etc…

A subtle collar, like a sub would wear in a public setting

A subtle collar, like a sub would wear in a public setting

I have no opinion on which is better. I know some people who have gotten far too into a 24/7 exchange and lost their own identity for a time, but it seems to me that they enjoyed it. The biggest drawbacks that I see are when a break-up happens. That is why I think leather families are so important, as well as having protectors and people who look out for you. It seems to me that there is no relationship harder to leave than a 24/7 power exchange.

I am not currently in any. I have been, but I generally choose to keep my kink to the bedroom. In real life, I want someone to tell me where they want to eat and what they want to do. I want them to offer opinions and challange me intellectually. I am not saying those things can’t happen in a 24/7 exchange. I am sure they can! But they never have for me. All the 24/7 exchanges I have been in involved a person who gave their will over to me, to the point of expecting me to pick out their clothes for the day and keep track of what they ate. It as a lot of work, and unlike some Dommes, I did not get off on having that much control.

Each couple must choose for themselves what they think is best. But remember people; safe, sane, and consensual. A good Domme never looses sight of the well-being of their submissives, and always protects their free will, while keeping their best interests at heart. If you’re going to be a Domme, be a good one who cares deeply for your submissive and makes sure they are always okay, and never too lost in you to know what is best for themselves.

Just pictures

I have so many pictures I really love, and even though I have posted some of them before, I wanted to do a post that was JUST about seeing the things in my world. So, here goes:

Just a wind chime in South Korea.

Just a wind chime in South Korea.

So in South Korea they have these penis parks like Jeju Loveland, where you go and look at statues of people having sex, and of penises and such. This is a wind chime made of wooden penises.

Just a sex statue

A sex statue

I think this is supposed to be the god Pan fucking a woman. If you go to Korea, you really have to check out the penis parks!

I just love the way my vinyl gloves look grabbing his butt in leather pants.

I just love the way my vinyl gloves look grabbing his butt in leather pants.

I don’t have many pictures from fetish events or play parties. Cameras are not allowed in most situations because no one wants to be “outed” as being kinky. So while you won’t see a picture of me, you can see my hand grabbing one of my pets.

My favorite shirt that I own

My favorite shirt that I own

I never get to wear this shirt. It’s not really okay in most social situations. But I fucking love it!

Just toys laid out for the night

Just toys laid out for the night

I love when you lay out your toys for the night and then sit waiting for your victim to arrive…

Nothing major. Just some claw marks.

Claw marks.

I didn’t feel like pulling out the whips and chains, but I still left my mark.

Just a bag of stuff for a play party

A bag of stuff for a play party

Off to a play party, so I had to pack of bag of clothes and toys! Oh- how I love a good play party with fun people!

Collars!

Collars!

I love collars! Decorative, play, or ownership collars; it doesn’t matter. They’re all so great!

Toys!

Toys!

Another night of fun all laid out on the table and ready for the pets to arrive.

Blindfolds

Blindfolds

I love going to Everland because of the blindfolds… (So much better than a plain one, yes?)

At a show

At a show

I have mentioned Element a440 before. They do songs about whips and chains and they are great dungeon music. In addition, their stage show involves tying girls to crosses…

From a play party

From a play party

I just love the crops next to the veggie tray. I wish I could take more pictures at play parties, but…

Rope suspension

Rope suspension

Now, even with his face blocked, you can tell this is my brilliant friend Hexavier. Most people I know wouldn’t let me “out” them on my blog, but Hexavier is a special breed. He’s also the best at rope work that I have ever seen, and he built his own rig.

Punishment room

Punishment room

In Korea they used to spank people as a punishment. This is one of the spanking rooms. I am not making this up. This was a serious government punishment.

Bondage bunny

Bondage bunny

I haven’t really ever done a post about furries. I probably should. There is certainly some kinky furry sex at Fetish Proms…

Whips!

Whips!

This is just some of the toys we had at a play party that we threw. So many choices!

Paperwork

Paperwork

Remember, paperwork is important! Do not play with a sub until you have a signed consent form. It never hurts to go over a checklist as well.

Still my favorite

Still my favorite

Of all the pictures ever taken of Pet and I, this is my favorite. It’s better than our wedding photos.

Remembering...

Remembering…

And of course, fliers from some of my shows. Play parties are private and in someone’s home. It’s a small group, and yes they sometimes turn into an orgy. Erotic balls and fetish proms are a way of showing off your kink in pubic by dressing up, watching performances, etc…