Fetish Series: Orgies, Swapping, etc…



Note: There are a lot of monogamous people in the kink community. Being kinky doesn’t automatically make you polyamorous. So before I get into the non-monogamous fetishes out there, I want to acknowledge that fact.

Now, when it comes to group-style sex, there are lots of options, and lots of ways it has been done throughout history. I could never talk about them all. Let’s just stick to two so this post doesn’t get too long:

1. Swapping/Swinging: when you are part of a couple and you switch partners, either at a party or through some other means.

2. Orgies: This just covers group sex of various kinds, including even-ratio parties and other scenarios.



So first, let’s talk about swinging. Even vanilla people do this, and it’s actually really common.

One tradition of swapping that comes from the vanilla world involves putting all the husband’s keys into a bowl, and having wives pick out keys at random. This is called a “Key Party.”

Some people are attracted to this idea because they like the concept of sleeping with a completely random person. For them, it’s just about having new and different experiences.

Other times, people prefer to switch with someone they already know and are attracted to. In the kink community, you see a lot of submissives “loaned out.” One Domme might have a submissive that another Domme is interested in, and so they trade for the night/week/forever. There are varying levels of consent involved there, depending on what has been negotiated. For example, I can swap my Pet out for another pet, or even just loan him out because I want to. However, I wouldn’t give him away/swap him for more than a night. That’s just the arrangement we have negotiated.

Some submissives are really into being loaned out/swapped/or even sold at auction.

Although a key party is really different than a Domme loaning out her submissive, all these fetishes kind of fall under the same umbrella of switching/swapping.



Like the section above, orgies are also not exclusive to the kink community. There were plenty of hippy orgies back in the sixties, and vanilla people still get drunk at parties and do this sort of thing. In fact, I have been in a few vanilla orgies, so I know that vanilla folks still have group sex even though the sixties are over.

Many people like the idea because it involves a wide variety of people and experiences in a single setting. Of course, it is also involves a lot more risk of STDs, so you should make sure that you are aware and comfortable with the dangers.

Most orgies are planned, and involve and even split of males/females. However, gang bangs would also fall under the category of an orgy.

Many people who find the idea of group sex disturbing wonder why anyone would chose to do it. Here are some of the reasons:

Exhibitionism: Many people really enjoy being watched. For them, sex is more exciting when people can see. For some kinky folks who like humiliation play, being whipped/fucked in front of people can also play into their fetish, as the natural tendency is to be embarrassed by being seen naked or vulnerable.

Watching: Some people really enjoy watching their partner have sex. They can see facial expressions, body movements, and all the things that are hard to see when they are not at a distance. In addition, some people have a cuckold fetish, so rather than focusing on watching their partner, their interest is in watching their partner having sex with someone else.

Variety: Our instincts as humans tend towards variety. As we see in monkeys, females have an instinct to have many partners in order to have many different sets of DNA (and may the best sperm win) and males have an instinct to spread their DNA as far and wide as possible. So this is basically a way for us humans to indulge some very primal instincts.

There are more reasons that people enjoy orgies, but that should be enough to give you the basic idea of why it might arouse some.



Obviously there are a lot of other ways that people enjoy sex with more than one partner. Every guy has given some thought to a MFF threesome, and in my experience, every girl has given some thought to a MMF threesome.

Actually, in the polyamorous community you often find a lot of triads or groups of people dating each other. This make sense if you may not get everything you want from one partner. For example, I am bisexual, so I enjoy having a boyfriend and a girlfriend. I am also a switch, so I enjoy having a Dom and a sub. That can be as few as two people or as many as four, and some of them may date each other as well. This is one of the many ways people may end up having sex in a group.

So again, remember to be tolerant of those with different fetishes. Your kink is not my kink, and that’s okay.

Club Desire



Finding kink in various places around the world can sometimes be challenging. Sex clubs are usually the best kept secret of a city. I’m going to write a short review of a place called Club Desire in Gangnam (a district of Seoul).

Basically, it’s a “secret” club where you make a reservation (via the web site), go there and have a drink, and then when the club fills up you have sex. I guess it’s not very kinky. They have paddles and whips hanging on one wall, but no one has ever used them when I was there. If you’re kink isn’t Voyeurism or being an Exhibitionist, you may not like it. It’s really just the chance to watch others have sex and let others watch you.

The last time I went, I took a friend who was visiting from the USA. He had been interested in the idea of having sex in front of people. Sadly, he got very nervous once we were actually there and couldn’t really stay hard. It happens sometimes, yeah? So instead he went down on me for ages while the people around us watched me squirm and scream. In fact, a few couples even had the bar tender come up and ask if we would swap. (Swinging happens at this club, but you can’t approach a couple directly. You have to have the bartender serve as an intermediary.)

Anyway, I have always had fun at this club. Most people I have taken have been too nervous to enjoy it because they have not had a lot of public sex. However, there are great moments. I was watching this one couple last time I was there and the girl was beautiful. When she came she screamed “씨발!” in such a sexy way… (That’s kind of like the Korean equivalent of “Fuck.”)

As long as you remember to keep calm and enjoy the scenery, I think you’ll have a good time!