Forever is About Six Months.

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BDSM is a huge and varied thing. There are so many different sub-groups and various fetishes within the kink community that it’s hard to ever sum it up. From furries to foot fetishists to hook suspension groups, the rabbit hole is deep, and it’s a long way down.

I was talking recently with a Dom friend of mine, who was mentioning how surprised he was by things that he ended up doing, which he thought he would never do. He said someone told him when he got into the community that “Forever is about six months.” Meaning, you say you’ll never do something, not ever ever ever, and then you end up trying it down the road.

I have found this to be a regularly occurring phenomenon, so I thought I’d devote a post to the most common things people say that they will never ever do.

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Needle Play: The art of needle play involves putting needles under someone’s skin. Of course one must make sure that said needles are sterile and, because bacteria like staff and MRSA can live on the skin, you must also use alcohol to clean the skin before inserting any needles. This can be a simple affair with one or two needles used only for sensation, or it can become an art form when people use many needles to make beautiful and intricate designs.

People say they will never ever do it mostly if they are freaked out by needles, and the feel of one sliding into their skin. But if practiced correctly, needle play is not like getting blood drawn, because the needles do not go in that deep. They are meant to be slid right under the top layer of skin, and pushed sideways, so as not to go into the tissue and cause permanent damage. This actually causes very little pain, and because the needles do not go deep, it lacks the sense of violation that some feel when a needle to pushed deep into a vein for a IV or something.

Yes, I have tried it. It was an experience and I’m glad I did it, but I didn’t enjoy it enough to want to do it often.

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Piss Play: I guess there are a thousand ways to describe this one, though I mostly hear “golden showers,” or “watersports.” This is the act of someone peeing on you, or peeing on someone. Most typically done outside or in a shower or bathtub, it is something that plays on a deep-seeded taboo in the human mind that one should not touch waste from their own body or from someone else’s.

Most people say they will never ever do this because it is gross, and I admit that there is an ick factor involved. It’s better if the person doing the peeing drinks lots of water first, because there is less of a smell then.

I have talked to several people who ended up trying it, and mostly there is two sides to it. The first is the side of the person who wants to pee on someone. For them, it is often described as an act of control, or the ultimate submission of their partner to their will. For the person on the receiving end, I have had it described to me as being incredibly hot because it is so wrong to them. To do something so gross just to please their master brings them joy.

I also tried this, and I don’t see the appeal myself in peeing on someone (or being peed on for that matter). But I don’t judge people who like it because I’m into some strange things myself and we should never judge our fellow kinksters.

*Side note: I have never actually met anyone who is into scat play, nor have I ever tried it. I am sure someone, somewhere does it. But I guess I feel it’s so very uncommon that it doesn’t need to be addressed. I promise to change my mind of I ever actually meet someone who likes to play with poo. 

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Bukkake: This is basically playing with cum in various ways. In some cases, it can just be a man cumming on his partner, perhaps in a more taboo area like the face. Or, for a sub of mine, he would cum on my stomach and then lick it up slowly while making eye contact with me. It can even include food; for example a man cumming on a piece of food and then making his partner eat it.

This is often a never ever for people who find cum disgusting. It does have a odd taste and consistency that can put people off, and of course it is a bodily fluid and some people are just bothered by bodily fluids in general.

For me, I think the sexist example was the sub I had in Arizona who liked to lick his cum off of me, because he just looked so damn hot doing it. I also had a Dom who would cum inside of me, lick it up, and then spit on me. That was actually pretty sexy too. I guess this falls into the category of something I like to do, though only after exchanging STD tests because one should always do that before becoming fluid bonded to another person.

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Hook Suspension: This is when a person has hooks carefully placed into various points in their skin, and then is lifted off the ground or pulled by another person controlling the hooks.

The first time I saw a hook suspension was at a concert when I was 17. I remember being amazed at how far the man’s skin stretched from his body. He was swinging across the stage and the skin on his back was stretched about 18 inches from his bones. It almost looked like he had a pair of wings.

This gets a never ever reaction from a lot of people because they expect that it would be very painful to have their skin penetrated by hooks, and then used to support the weight of their body.

This is actually the one things I’m going to tell you about today that I have never done. I have wanted to. My friends in Suspension Merriment are wonderful people (I love that they call themselves “hookers”) and they always look so peaceful when they are hanging.

My reason for not doing it is because I don’t go into shock or get endorphins when my body is injured. I broke my arm a few years ago and instead of getting a rush of adrenalin and endorphins that helped me deal with it, it simply hurt the whole time I was getting to the hospital and waiting there to be helped.  I think for me, it would not be a spiritual and amazing experience, but more of a trial that I just don’t feel ready to endure. But again, I love the folks who do it. They are great people. I respect what they do and don’t judge another person’s kink.

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Fisting: This is one of those things that sounds really scary if you’re the owner of a vagina. After all, a hand is pretty big usually, and it doesn’t seem like it would fit. People say they would never ever do this for a lot of reasons. Girls worry that it will hurt, or that their vagina will tear. Also there is the concern that if it is stretched out, it won’t go back to being tight again.

First I’ll just say that the vagina is amazingly stretchy and meant to pass a baby through. Yes, it can stretch, and yes it will shrink back to it’s original size (though the time that takes can vary from person to person.) This doesn’t mean it isn’t dangerous, because not using lube or moving too fast can tear the vagina and cause infection, or even require stitches.

I have done this, and I like it. It’s one of those things that I have to be in the mood for. But I like it, and have even gone as far as trying anal fisting, which I also enjoyed, (but again, I had to be really aroused first because I feel like tissue is more pliable and tolerant of abuse when it is full of blood and aroused). I have also done it to several girlfriends, who also enjoyed it once they were into it. Some took awhile to work up to it though, as in, not on the first try. I have yet to fist a guy, but I’m not ruling it out.

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I could go on and on. I know some people find furries strange, as well as pet play and rape play. Perhaps I’ll get to those another day. For now, these are just some examples.

I promise you that my 16-year-old self who first entered a dungeon was not okay with any of these things. At one point, they were hard limits for me. And over time, they became soft limits, and then I tried them.

In fact, I have found myself doing all manner of weird things, from dental play to role play, that I thought when I was younger that I wouldn’t do.

Rough sex with a little choking or slapping is a long way from hook suspension. It has certainly been an interesting journey. But the point is that “never ever” is something that we all say about something at some point, and it is truly amazing how fast you can go from that feeling of “hell no” to that feeling of “hell yeah.”

As the saying goes; forever, for many in the community, is about six months.

Final note: It should also be mentioned that a person’s chemistry with another person is a huge factor. It takes a certain type of person and the right kind of chemistry to push and break limits. Even if you’re okay with something with one person, sometimes you’re not with another. And that is okay. One can not understate the importance of personalities matching up and chemistry between people.

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An evening with this girl I used to know

Kink and Girls!
*Because of a request from a reader…

She walked up to my house in a white tank top and blue jeans; her pretty blonde hair tie up in a pink hair tie. My cute little girl, home from her first day at college. I’m so proud.

I was outside already, oiling the chain on my motorcycle. A cigarette was hanging from my mouth, but I flicked it when she walked up to me. I hugged her, and she brushed her lips against my ear and whispered “I’ve been thinking about you all day.” I smiled.

“Is that so?” I ask. “And what kind of things were you thinking about?”I love the way her eyes dance with excitement when she thinks she’s being naughty. She’s a good girl, even if she doesn’t realize it. She’s from a nice family and she grew up in a nice house. Her parents are married. She’s had a nice life. I love that she thinks she’s bad because she drinks beer and smokes cigarettes and dates me. Personally, I think there is nothing sexier than a good little girl who thinks she’s a badass.

“I was thinking about how I want you to fuck me like you did last night,” she says. “I was supposed to be taking notes in math class, but all I could think about was how hard I came last night.”I grin, and pick her up by throwing my shoulder into her waist standing. She squirms as she finds herself over my shoulder. She weighs almost nothing, since she’s so short and skinny. I’m not a huge girl, but I’m a solid 5 feet 8 inches, and I have been known to be spotted at a gym now and again. It’s not terribly hard to carry her into the house.I toss her onto the bed like she’s an object, because she likes it when I make her feel like I don’t care about her; and then I descend on her. She squirms and struggles while I remove her clothes and kiss and bite her all over. I love how she makes little shrieking noises and giggles.

Once she’s naked, I pull out the kimono ties. Leather cuffs and other BDSM gear freak her out, but she likes to be tied up as long as it doesn’t look scary. The kimono ties are silk, and while they are not ideal, they are pretty and they work because she doesn’t really struggle too much. She just likes to feel restrained. She thinks it’s naughty.Once she’s bound with her hands and feet behind her, she looks like a hog-tied calf and I take a moment to admire the view. Then I start to tease her. While my pretty little girl doesn’t like pain, she does enjoy sensation play. I admit, part of me wants to let loose and whip her as hard as I can sometimes, but I content myself to watching her react as I run a feather over her skin. She trembles when it touches somewhere sensitive, and gets goosebumps. I tease her until she’s wet and giving me the come-fuck-me look.I don’t untie her, but I spread her legs.  I rub her softly and feel how wet she is. Carefully, I slide a finger just a little bit inside her. She sighs. At the same time, I put a finger in her mouth. She starts to suck on it. Slowly, I push my finger deeper into her mouth, while at the same time adding fingers inside her pussy and pushing deeper inside.

We’ve been working on this; me and Ms. B. At first she was only okay with three fingers. It’s taken quite a bit of play, but we’ve moved up to four fingers and I have almost slid my whole fist inside. I think tonight may be the night. However, I am in no rush. I like to tease her- because she loves suspense.I withdraw, and I untie her. I love the way she is now that she is really turned on. She is completely focused on me and the look she has suggests that she’d do anything I asked. I find that girls like to turn their noses up at things until they’re hot and wet, and then everything goes. Ms. B is definitely that way.Now I tie her to the spreader bars I have. They’re not too scary looking, and even if they were, she’s got the come-fuck-me look when I take them out from under the bed so I decide she can handle it. She doesn’t protest as I tie her hands to the opposite ends of one bar, and her feet to the opposite ends of another.Once she’s spread out and turned on, I am more ruff with her. I bite her nipples, and hold my hand against her throat while I kiss her. I am careful to put pressure on the veins to the sides of her windpipe, while not actually pressing down on anything in the middle. Breath play is dangerous; though fun. I don’t want to really hurt my beautiful girl.

I grab her hair and move to smother her with my pussy. I move against her just a tiny bit, so she feels trapped. She’s said she likes that.

Then I flip around and start to play with her too. I hold myself up with one hand while sliding the other in and out of her slowly. She squirms in the most delightful way! The best part about being with a girl is the way they are so much more willing to squirm and moan. I love that so much. It makes me feel so powerful.

I’ve got my thumb pressed again the inside of my fingers, so my hand is folded into something as skinny as I can  make it. Still, I feel resistance when I get to my knuckles. I lick her more, trying to let my saliva run all over her as much as I can. She doesn’t like to use lube or toys because it “feels too kinky” and I do not argue with her because a good Domme listens carefully to their submissive and tries to make them comfortable, even when they are being silly. I will try and introduce new ideas to her, but only a little at a time.

As my tongue brushes her clit, she gets more and more excited. I can tell because, the more excited she is, the more eagerly she licks at my pussy, while struggling the whole time. In the candle light, I can see how she swells as blood rushes into her nether regions. What was once pale white skin is now deep red and her labia are swollen. Her clit is harder and harder against my tongue. Finally, I feel my hand slide all the way inside her. She groans in a wonderful way, and I hold it there for a moment and let her feel it, before sliding it back out. I don’t want to overwhelm her or risk tearing the skin. I know it’s meant to stretch, but I am cautious.

I stop playing with her pussy then, and instead slide a finger into her ass. She likes to pretend she thinks this is gross, but secretly she loves this. I know because almost immediately she begins to spasm and I can feel her cum. She screams my name, and I cant help but smile.

I crawl off of her and untie her. She looks up at me with the happiest look, and then I lay down and she puts her head on my chest. As she lays next to me, I can feel her tiny breasts pressed against me. I love how soft she is. It’s rare that I am lucky enough to play with a girl. Perhaps I am too picky, or perhaps I’m just more attractive to men. Lesbians don’t tend to like me, but that actually makes sense to me since I consider myself a guy (in a chick’s body- of course.) Whatever the case, when Ms. B lays against me sated and happy, I feel amazing. I cuddle her, and she snuggles against me. This is what happy feels like.

From the Other Side

Rope is always a good start to a night.

 

I am not a trusting person. For me, this is terrifying. And yet, it’s an experience I want to have. I try to prepare myself by sitting in a submissive pose, with my shoulders hunched down and my legs crossed and hidden under the chair. I make myself as small as I can, and as my body leads, my mind follows. I begin to feel more submissive; more ready for this experience.

He comes into my house looking serious and businesslike. He uses a commanding voice, and tells me to strip. I stand meekly, with my eyes lowered to the floor. He watches me intently as I take my clothes off, so I feel more shy doing it.

When I finish, he lets me stand there naked for awhile before he speaks.

“On your knees,” he says.

He grabs my hair then, and wraps it around his hand so he can hold me still.

“What do you want, slut?” he asks.

“Only to please you, Master,” I reply quickly.

He pulls harder on my hair, and I let a gasp escape my lips.

“I enjoy the sound that my hand makes when it slaps your ass,” he says. “Come bend over this chair.”

It’s a recliner-style chair. The back is padded, and I think my master is kind to give me something soft to lean over for support. As I bend over, I feel terrified. The fear of pain is often worse than the actual pain. I think I tremble a little. The chair is vinyl and it is cold against my skin. I feel very exposed as I stand there naked, bent over, with my ass in the air. He runs his hands softly over my ass, letting my tension build.

“When I hit you, you must thank me and ask for more,” he says.

I find this very humiliating. When he hits me, I will want to beg him to stop. So of course, he is going to make me thank him and ask for more. He knows how hard it will be for me, and I think he is wicked.

It comes suddenly. Thwack! It stings so much! I want to cry out. I want to tell him to stop. I want to tell him I changed my mind and I don’t want to try being submissive. I want my power back! Yet I am stubborn too, and I know I should be able to bear up to the night I asked for.

“Thank you, Master” I manage to say. “May I please have another?”

“Why yes, you nasty little whore, you certainly may,” he says. He sounds so sadistic!

It continues for what feels like forever. He hits me harder and harder. I have to beg him for more. Every time I ask him to hit me again, it feels more humiliating than the last. It hurts so much my eyes are stinging as the tears come; completely against my will. I don’t cry! Yet, here I am blinking away tears.

I hear my voice break the next time I say “Thank you, Master. May I please have another?”

He grabs my hair and pulls my head back roughly.

“No, you may not,” he says harshly. “You may see how purple your ass is. Go into the bathroom now and look at it.”

I do as I am told, though it is hard to walk. In the bathroom, I turn enough to see my ass in the mirror. It is very purple, and somehow seeing it makes it hurt that much worse. He comes in and laughs at me, as I stand in front of the mirror looking at my bruised ass and crying.

“You are so easy to break,” he says. “But I’m far from done with you. You have a long night ahead of you. Get kneel on the yoga mat in the living room.”

I obey, and he stands over me. He unzips his pants, take his cock out, and shoves it in my mouth without any kind of warm-up or a word of warning. He grabs the sides of my head and holds on tight, and he fucks my face hard. I feel him inside my throat, and it hurts. I can only breath when he slides out, so I gasp then. When he thrusts in, I choke and gag and struggle. He doesn’t stop or even ask if I am okay. He just keeps fucking my face while I struggle and the tears keep running down my face.

Finally, he pulls out and cums on my face. I feel his cum sprinkle onto my skin and mix with the sweat and tears. He laughs at me.

“You look like such a pathetic little whore,” he tells me. “Now, don’t even think about getting up. I want you to smear my cum around on your face. Mix it up with your sweat and tears. I want to see you all sticky and dirty like the nasty little whore you are. Tell me how much you love to be my little slut.”

I reach up and rub my face, feeling the sticky wet mess all over my cheeks.

“Thank you for honouring this slut with your cum, Master,” I whisper. “I am so grateful that you let me please you with my mouth. I hope I have made you happy.”

He laughs. “Oh, not yet,” he says. “I am not nearly finished with you. I told you that you were in for a long night. When I am done enjoying how you look with cum and tears all over your pretty little face, I plan to rape you with random things in your apartment. Do you think your tight little cunt can handle a beer bottle? Because, I want to shove one up inside you. You’re not good enough for my cock, but I think I’ll enjoy fucking your cunt and your little asshole with some things I find in your house.”

I am afraid now. It sounds so painful. What if he hurts me? Can a beer bottle tear my pussy?

He starts looking around my house- and then he finds it. My toy box is under the couch. It’s where I keep my strap-on to fuck my pet, as well as all my whips and chains and toys.

“Jackpot,” he says.

He looks through the box, occasionally asking me if I like this toy or that toy. He tells me he will shove every one of them inside me. I feel myself getting more and more tense. I also feel his cum drying on my face. It’s itchy, and I want to scratch, but I know that would make him angry. I feel very humiliated  there on my knees watching him look through my toys, while his cum is drying on my face.

He finds my rope. He tells me to lay on my back on my table, and he starts to tie me up. He binds my hands and feet. He binds my breasts, until they ache from the ropes around them. They swell, and he seems to enjoy that. He puts nipple clamps on my nipples, and they swell as well. I find myself completely bound on my table, with my legs spread wide, tied to my arms. I am wide open, and I can’t help being afraid with my pussy and asshole to exposed.

As if reading my thoughts, he pulls one of the biggest dildoes out of my toy box. He slaps me across the face with it. It stings, but it also helps the itchiness. I try not to let on that I liked it a little.

“Why don’t you get it wet?” he says as he shoves it in my mouth. It’s huge, and it doesn’t really fit, but he forces it. “Lick it. Spit on it you little slut!”

When it’s wet, he walks around the table and looks at me. He slaps my pussy hard, and I squeak involuntarily. I think he will fuck me in my pussy then, and I am wet in spite of myself. I am dripping, in fact. I actually start to ache with how much I want it. But he doesn’t give it to me like I think he will. Instead, he suddenly shoves the huge, black dildo deep into my ass.

The pain is intense. The dildo is wide, and I feel my asshole stretch as it is filled up. He laughs at my surprise, and he sounds to vicious. He starts fucking me with it, hard. I feel it slam in and out of me, and it feels good even as it hurts. Because I am on my back, some of the wetness from my pussy drips down, so at least there is enough lube for what he is doing.

Then, he shoves it is and gets a scarf. He ties it around me in such a way that it is holding the dildo in my ass.

“Get ready for my fist,” he says.

I am not ready, but he doesn’t seem to care. He starts by plunging three fingers in. He works them in and out a few times.

“You are so wet,” he says. “You like being fucked in the ass, don’t you? You nasty little whore. You LOVE a big cock in your ass. Look how wet you are! A dripping cunt doesn’t lie. You are loving this. What a little slut you are!”

He adds another finger. Now he is fucking me with four fingers. He closes his hand together and adds his thumb. As his whole fist shoves inside of me, I scream and try desperately to squirm away. It is so painful that I can’t stand it and I beg him to stop. I don’t say my safeword though, so he keeps his fist inside me. He starts to move it in and out, in and out. I feel like i am being torn in half. I’ve forgotten all about my safeword. I scream and beg and tears well up in my eyes again. I am overwhlmed, and I feel the muscles in my strain. In spite of the scarf, the dildo is pushed out of my ass.

“You naught girl,” he says. “I wanted you totally filled and you pushed the dildo out of you. Oh… I am going to have to punish you for that.”

He withdraws. Then he comes back with a whip. Before I know what is happening, he is whipping my pussy and my tits. He does it so hard that the welts raise immediately  He doesn’t even tell me to thank him, he just hits me while I scream.

When he stops, I am covered in welts. He unties me. He tells me to get to get on my knees. He tells me to bow down all the way to the floor and lick his feet. Does he really expect me to do this?!? Feet are so gross!  I feel like I am going to break a lot of boundaries tonight…