I get a lot of requests for suggestions on what to do with a submissive once they are tied up. To start, before you tie them up, it’s nice to start with petting, hair pulling, neck and ear biting, and running your hands along their body in a firm way. This starts putting them into sub space and getting them in the mood.
If you use rope to tie your submissive and need any help with that, Twisted Monk is the best! They have instructional videos and helpful hints.
For me, I am lazy and like to use gear ties, because they are quick and easy. Also, the rubber is soft and doesn’t leave any marks, but the steel cable inside is strong and nearly impossible to break.
If possible, I prefer a hard point in a doorway or a low arch. This is because I enjoy having the submissive’s hands out of the way, with access to both their front size and back size. A hard point would be something simple like an eye hook screwed deep into a stud in your wall.
You can also tie their arms in front of them (in which case you may want to tie their arms and feet together and then to each other just for fun.) Or, you can tie their arms in back. Depending on how you tie them, you will have access to different parts of their body, so think about which parts you want to play with first, and remember to switch it up a few times during the night so they don’t get sore from being tied in one position too long.
When you have their hands above them or in front of them, that is a good time to try flogging and spanking. For flogging, remember to use a figure eight motion, and to start light and build in intensity as you go. Be careful to aim for the thickest fleshiest bits so that you won’t accidentally wrap the tails of the flogger around the submissive’s body, as this can amplify the force and cause the flogger to cut into the flesh.
For spanking, you also want to be sure to focus on the fleshy parts. I think it’s fun to ask submissives to either count how many times I hit them, or to ask to be hit again after each stroke. I like to think that kink is as much in a person’s head as it is outside. So, if they have to say “Thank you Mistress, may I have another?” after each stroke, it adds to the intensity of the experience.
If your scene involves sex, it’s good to change positions after play. For females, I like to use a vibrator on them (if they can orgasm from that) and if not, use my fingers or tongue to get them off. Once a female has an orgasm, they are much more open to different ideas. If your submissive is male, you wouldn’t want to let them have an orgasm because men tend to fall asleep after. But for females, you will definitely get more enthusiastic participation in any scene if you make sure they have an orgasm first.
Remember, talk to your submissive about what gets them off! Don’t just assume. Women are all very different, and this can sometimes make it a struggle to please them. That’s why you need to communicate. If you want to try some creative toys to help you, I recommend Doctor Exreme for some off-the-beaten-path ideas.
Remember that before sexual contact it is always a good idea to get an STD test from them first, because many STDs are spread through skin-to-skin contact and so a condom will not be enough to protect you (unless it’s one of those full-body condoms from Eastern Europe.)
Also remember that not all scenes include sex; some are just play. Make sure your submissive agreed to sexual contact before you initiate it.
And finally, these are just a few ideas, although you can also have a lot of fun with butt plugs, riding crops, and canes; to name a few things. Whatever you do, as always, keep it safe, sane, and consensual.