Fetish Series: Pushing Boundaries


It is simultaneously really simple and really difficult to define what a fetish is.

From the Wiki page, the suggestion is that a sexual fetish is a focus on an inanimate object or non-genital part of the body. The idea is that a person gets sexual pleasure from something that is not inherently sexual.

In spite of this seemingly easy definition, I would argue that in practice, there are actually a lot of gray areas involved.


For example, hook suspension is not a new practice, and not all people that do it fetishize it. However, some people who do it do fetishize it. So when we talk about it, it’s important to be clear that some do it for the mental clarity and the peace they feel when they are suspended. On the other hand, some get a sexual thrill from it. (Watching, participating, doing the rigging, etc.)


Many things being fetishized are not always a fetish. Take Tens Units and Violet Wands, for example. Many people do use these devices to stimulate muscles after an injury or to help with muscle spasms (as is their stated purpose.) However, many others have an electricity fetish and consider these devices to be kinky. In fact, at most “tastings” (fetish events where you can try things out) there will be a station set up with a Tens Unit or Violet Wand.

images (1)

You are always going to find people who use a vibrator as a “neck massager” because that is how it is advertised and they really are that naive. Most of us can agree as a society that we know a Magic Wand is for female masturbation and not neck massages.

images (2)

My point is, in some ways a Violet Wand is a sex toy, and in some ways it is not. If you get a thrill from electricity like my husband does, then it is definitely a sex toy. However, if you’re using it for a muscle injury, then obviously it is not.


Additionally, you are likely to see things like Violet wands and Hook Suspensions at a kink party in Arizona (where I am from,) but that doesn’t mean that the people who are there for those things are necessarily part of the kink community. So, on the outer limits of fetish culture there are blurred lines, and you should try to avoid making assumptions if you can. Always ask people questions rather than guessing at the answers.


As I have said through all the posts in this fetish series I am doing, there are blurred lines. Vanilla people engage in a lot of behavior that could be considered fetishized, but they don’t think of it that way or interact with the community. And in the community many people do things that seem like they are extreme and pushing the outer limits of kink, but some of those people don’t consider those things at all sexual.

The key to all of this is just to try to remain tolerant, open-minded, and understanding.


Personal Update


I’m super-excited to have just flown to Phoenix, Arizona for the 10th Anniversary of Arizona Fetish Prom put on by Horns and Halos Saturday May 24th. It was a really good time and I always love to be at Horns and Halos events.

James Bound of Horns and Halos

James Bound of Horns and Halos

While we were there, my husband got his magnetic upgrade from Steve Haworth, so now we match! That was pretty exciting, since I absolutely love having mine!


Steve Haworth, putting in a magnet in his studio

Steve Haworth, putting in a magnet in his studio

I’m back in Oregon, but only for another 2 months. It’s almost time for my next adventure. I’ll be traveling in August with my husband, and then in September I will be moving to Guam.

Oregon has been fun. My host family has been lovely. It has really been a wonderful year.

However, a year is a long time to stay in one place, and it’s time to think about the future. The future will involve beaches. Warmer beaches than Oregon has to offer.

I have no idea how long I will be staying in Guam. If I like it, then it looks like I’ll stay the full two years that the husband is stationed there. If I don’t like it, then I may drop back in to South Korea for a bit to work as a teacher, or possibly another country like Taiwan or Thailand.

Hopefully, wherever I go, there will be lots of fun fetish things to experience and to write about. You can be assured that I will keep you updated.

Just a picture from prom of a pull

Just a picture from prom of a pull

Upgrade Update

new spring again 2014 tulips 013

Recently I got a magnetic implant, installed by Steve Haworth. It is a form of body modification which allows me to sense magnetic fields.

As a lesser feature, it also allows me to pick up metal objects like the safety pin pictured above.

Other people have had the surgery and they have written about it. But this is just my personal take on my little upgrade.
It’s like this;

When I first started playing the Google Augmented reality game called Ingress, it was hard.

I had to walk around in the REAL world while also walking around in game.

And my brain couldn’t do it! I could focus on the things around me, or the game. I could switch quickly from one to the other. But I couldn’t do both at once.

My brain could only comprehend my place in space and time in ONE universe at once while walking.

And then one day it learned.

I literally felt my mind expand.

Screen shot from Ingress

Screen shot from Ingress

Suddenly; I could walk around in game AND in the real world simultaneously. I built new neural pathways and I felt it happen.

The magnet is the same.

At first it was a tingle whenever I was near a magnetic field.

And it took whole seconds for me to realize that the tingle I felt was caused by the magnet in my finger, and to make the connection.

“Oh yes! (Said my brain very slowly). We have a new sense!”

But little by little it is realizing what is happening faster and faster.

Someday, it will feel natural like processing visual data.


Everyone asks me why I did it. I can offer no explanation except to say, if it doesn’t sound cool to you yet, then I can’t explain it to you.

But I can assure you that I haven’t had any negative side effects worth mentioning, and that so far I think it’s an amazing experience!

I guess if there is any downside it was that the installation and healing was a bit of a pain.

I guess if there is any downside it was that the installation and healing was a bit of a pain.

I Have Been Upgraded


So I headed out to Deep Roots Tattoo shop in Seattle, Washington last week. My purpose was to obtain a tiny magnet, implanted in the skin of my ring finger. I wrote about Steve Haworth before, and the cool body modifications he does.

Of course now, I am having a little bit of trouble typing, so I’ll keep this short:

After m finger was numbed with ice, a small cut was made and the magnet slipped in. Then a stitch was put in my finger to hold the wound closed.


This implant, when healed, will allow me to sense magnetic fields. I am super-excited about it, and I will let you all know how it goes once I’m healed and can type easily again.

I know this isn’t strictly BDSM related, but I wanted to share this adventure, and I do feel like many folks in the community are into body modification. (Or at least, that has been my experience.)

Steve is doing an East Coast tour in a few weeks, so if you are interested in getting your own upgrades, make sure to check him out!

And don’t worry; when I’m all healed up I’ll let you know how the magnet is working out.