Anal Sex Tips

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Recently I found myself asked about how to approach anal sex, from the perspective of a female planning to peg a male. First, I would suggest hygiene. Some people go as far as have their submissive do an enema beforehand, which is helpful but not required. However, a shower is definitely called for beforehand, and it doesn’t hurt to shave or trim hair in the pubic area as well.

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It is also a good idea to suggest that your submissive use a butt plug for several weeks prior to actually trying to peg them, because they need to get used to the sensation. That’s because being relaxed is really important, and new sensations can be scary and cause people to tense up.

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Remember to take it slowly, and use lube on both the dildo and your submissive as well. Don’t rush, because tearing is painful and can cause infection. As long as you both remember to stay relaxed, you should have lots of fun!

Speaking and Workshops

So many toys to play with!

So many toys to play with!

I was recently asked if I do workshops and lectures. In fact, I have and I do.

Usually, it’s for groups of people that I know or that I meet on Felife or at an event. However, if someone DID wish to contact me through my blog, I suppose I should tell you that I have an e-mail that you can use. It’s: ladyvioletemail@gmail.com

I would give out a phone number, but the internet has some strange kids on it sometimes, so I think it’s best if I leave it at an e-mail for now.

Taking a pet for a walk.

Taking a pet for a walk.

In my experience, a good workshop is about 10 people. I’ve done them on all kinds of topics from scene negotiation to flogging lessons to pegging.

Yes, I make handouts. Yes, I bring my own toys.

So let me know if you have questions, or if you are interested. Fees can be discussed along with what you’re hoping to learn. However please note: I do this in private homes. I will not do it on a stage for a large venue. I have done enough of that, and it’s frustrating because no one can talk or ask questions. It crosses the line from workshop to performance art, and I am not a performance artist.

If you’re not sure if what you’re looking for would be okay or not, just ask.

Sensation play!

Sensation play!

Pegging

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I was asked recently by a girl about how to peg her boyfriend. I’m just going to throw a few quick suggestions out there…

First, let me get the obvious stuff out of the way:

– Keep your toys clean. Wash and sterilize after each use.

– Lube. Buy some. Use it.

– Butt plugs help. If your sub wears them, it will be easier to let your strap-on slide in.

– Mess happens. Let’s be mature about a little poo here and there.

So you feel ready. You bought a strap-on (the cheap ones suck so get something good!) You practiced on your own putting it on and taking it off. Maybe you even tried the dildo on yourself. You feel prepared.

Now let me tell you that you are not prepared. There’s no exercise I’m aware of that uses the same muscles as fucking someone with a strap-on, and because your body is not designed for it, you’re going to wear yourself out pretty fast. That’s okay. Take the dildo out of the harness and use your hands if you want. Make him get on top and fuck himself if you’d rather. Don’t be discouraged if you can’t fuck for that long at first, because everything takes practice and that’s okay.

I think at first I encountered a host of problems from soar muscles to the ick factor of cleaning a little poo off the end of the dildo after. I think at first, I was nervous about the moment you stick it in, when they gasp.

However, that was just the first few times I did it.

Several pets later, I’ve really come to love pegging. The main reason is the sounds guys make. See, usually when a guy is fucking a girl he’s pretty quiet because he’sĀ concentratingĀ on the way he’s moving and all that. But when a guy is getting fucked, he has nothing to do but lay there and take it. That’s when they moan. I have really come to love that sound. The way they look, all helpless and cute… and the way you’re able to control the sounds they make by how hard you fuck them… it’s really all a lot of fun.

So yes, I know at first a lot of girls sort of shy away from the idea. I get that. But you can do it, and you will come to love it. Just be mentally prepared for the complications you may face, and keep an open mind. Because after awhile, I think you’ll come to find that it’s a lot of fun.

New Pet

Since I don’t have one of my own… here’s the dildo that goes with my strap-on.

He walks in, and sees me dressed in my Domme gear. I’m very imposing in my thigh-high boots and my mini-dress with a high neck. My police-style hat is cocked to the side, and I’m holding my favorite flogger in my hand.

Enthralled, he falls to his knees. I am gratified to see it; but I don’t show it. I simply stand there, letting him take his time getting into his sub space.

When I speak, it is a command.

“Stand, and take your clothes off my pet,” I say in a quiet, serious voice.

Of course, he complies. He stands, and is out of his clothes as fast as one would expect from a 21-year-old Navy boy. I look, and I am amazed all over again that I get to play with such pretty toys! His muscles ripple when he moves. His huge cock hangs between his legs, swollen already because he is near me. I run my hand across his six-pack abs and allow myself the smallest hint of a smile.

“Inside, and back on your knees, my pet.”

He walks in and falls onto his knees on the yoga mat I’ve laid out. He’s only come to my dungeon twice before, but he knows where to kneel. I slip his collar around his neck and close the buckles. It’s a tight fit, and his breath comes quickly for a moment, as he panics a little inside about his first time wearing his own collar. The generic one he wore before was loose on him, but this one was made for his neck. I decided after we spent our second weekend together that I should get him one of his own. I decided I wanted him to be mine, and now he is.

“This is your collar, pet. I had it made just for you. You are mine now. Do you understand?” I ask.

“Yes, Mistress,” he says obediently. His eyes are cast down at the floor but I see him sneak a peak at me. I do not let him see me smile.

“Are you pleased to belong to me, my pet?” I ask.

“Yes, Mistress. I am eager to serve you in every way you see fit,” he says quickly.

I take a moment to appreciate how fast the military boys respond. They have to be so quick with their “Yes, Sir” and “No, Sir” bullshit at work. I guess it’s easy to switch from that to calling someone Mistress. I enjoy the way he is so willing to give himself over completely, and how seriously he takes it. He is a good pet.

I get the blindfold I bought just for him. It’s adorable! It’s a sleeping mask with panda eyes on it, and it’s so cute that I know he’ll find it emasculating. I could care less what he thinks of it though, because it makes me happy to see him wearing it. I put it on him after letting him see it, and then I quietly set to work tying his hands together and then tying them to his ankles. The music overtakes us then. I love the sound of some good Industrial music at night when I’m playing with a pet. It always makes me swell with power.

Once my pet is tied up, I get down next to his ear and I whisper very quietly:

“Do you wish to make your Mistress happy?”

He takes a halting breath, still not used to the snug fit of his collar.

“Yes, I want nothing in the world more than I want to please you,” he says.

“That’s good,” i say, “because you’re going to lick my pussy now.”

“Yes Mistress,” he says.

I stand, and lift my dress just enough to expose my pussy. I shove it roughly in his face, and he starts to suck and lick me. I let myself slip down a little, to put pressure on his face. I know it’ll make it harder for him to breath, so he can feel like he’s being smothered. I look down and I can tell he’s loving it because his cock is rock-hard. I can not help but wonder how his body has enough blood for the rest of him when his cock is hard. It’s really, very big. A girl pet of mine called it “an unnatural work of art” and I have to agree with her. It really is.

I want to feel it inside me, but I resist, because I’m not going to let him fuck me yet. Instead I let him keep licking me until I cum all over his face, and then I go get my strap on.

When I force him down onto all fours, I think he suspects what is coming. I would gag him in case he screams and wakes the neighbors, but we haven’t worked out a non-verbal safe word yet and I don’t want to break scene to negotiate one. We talked in pre-scene negotiations about how he’d like to get fucked. He’s watched a lot of pegging porn. However, I don’t think he’s done it before and it might freak him out. Reality can be so much different from fantasy.

I rub lube onto it. It’s smaller than his own cock by a lot, but I guess that doesn’t mean anything since he can’t very well fuck himself. I giggle quietly at my own musings and hope he didn’t hear.

I come up behind him and I start to caress him. I touch his back, and his hips. I go up next to his ear.

“I’m going to fuck you now, my pet. If you scream, I shall punish you,” I whisper.

His whole body is so tense! I brush my hands along his soft flesh and I appreciate every bit of it. What a pretty pet I have!

I rub lube between his butt cheeks and slip my finger inside him to test his reaction. His back muscles ripple as he gets even more tense. He looks like an animal- ready to bolt at any moment. I imagine he might if he wasn’t tied up. He seems terrified. I smile. Fear smells so good.

When I slide inside he lets out a moan.

“Bad pet!” I say. “We talked about how you mustn’t make a sound. That was very naughty of you, and I shall whip you for it later. Right now though, I just want to fuck you.”

It’s going to be a long night. I imagine I won’t get much sleep. That’s okay though- because it’s going to be fun!