Club Sanctuary

2391f3f8d732ca1793650f37ffee17fd.jpg

Oregon has a few options for swingers clubs like The Velvet Rope and Club Privata. They sometimes do kink nights with suspensions and toys, but they don’t have fully-equipped dungeons. For dungeons, there were only a few private choices like Meadhall.  If you weren’t friends with the owners, then you were stuck checking Fetlife.com for kink events put on at various clubs like the Bossanova Ballroom.

So when I heard about Club Sanctuary opening up, I was extremely excited! Portland has needed a public dungeon space, and now they have one.

download (4)

Imagine my disappointment when I found out that they have cameras in the front room! I had just written a post about being outed and how it was NOT okay. Then I find out that this dungeon keeps video of the people who play there. That makes me extremely uncomfortable.

Now it’s true, the cameras are only in the main room. And yes, you could wear a mask and clothes that hide any visible scars or tattoos. And if that is your thing, then you should do it. My Pet had a lot of fun there playing kinky Jenga, and if you are fine with being on video at a dungeon, then I highly recommend it.

images (3)

Unfortunately, I come from a very old-school way of thinking after 20 years in the kink community, and I am not okay with being outed or risking video evidence of me in a dungeon. So, I did not go in.

I am pleased to say that Pet had a good time. He talked to the owners and said that they seem nice. And he felt that it was at least as nice as the CSPC used to be, minus the library and learning annex.

As for me, if they decide to get rid of the cameras, I will be happy to go. Until then, I can only tell you that if your personal threshold for exposure is lower than mine, you will probably like it and you should check it out.

images

Munches

20131220_215257

My favorite munch that I ever went to was in Portland. We got together to make ginger bread houses. I had actually never made a ginger bread house before, and I really had fun with it. The person throwing the munch had arranged to buy kits for each of us and candy (which we reimbursed her for) and everyone brought snacks to make it kind of a pot luck.

It is still a really cool memory because I like to try new things, enjoy pleasant conversation with new people, and feel accomplished at the end of it all.

I have not ever made a ginger bread house since, but I am really glad to say that I was able to do it once in my life. And it was even with cool people!

download-2

So my husband and I are going on vacation, and I was trying to think of somewhere to have a munch while on our trip. I looked at the Raccoon cafe (only two sad little raccoons) and all the bars and restaurants I like, but here’s the problem with that:

It’s loud in a restaurant, bar, or club.

I always felt like the point of a munch was to talk to people and get to know them. I thought it was to introduce friends, and make new friends.

It’s hard to do that in a loud and crowded environment.

Anyway, it made me think of how I would rather go hike to a temple and sit around in a circle chatting than go to a bar and scream over music.

What is your favorite place to hold a munch?

 

download-1

New Lifestyle Club

6-13-13-portland-tribune-dangerous-buildings (1)

I wrote before about Club Sesso in Portland after visiting there with one of my boyfriends. At the time, it was a swinger’s club owned by porn star Ron Jeremy and his business partners.

Since then, there the club became tied up in a scandal . I won’t get into the details because that’s not the relevant part. What matters is, they closed the club. This was a shame for kinky folks and swingers who enjoy such places.

In the wake of it all, two of the partners who owned the original club have filed to open a new club in its place, to be called Club Privata. No word on exactly what it will be. The owners describe it as an “upscale lifestyle club.” But, I think it’s safe to assume that it will be similar to what the old club was. This is good for all of us who live in or spend lots of time in Portland.

Ron Jeremy will not be involved at all in the new club.

images

Being Ethical

Polyamory_pride_in_San_Francisco_2004

Not all kinky folks are poly. in fact, most are not. The poly community is still very small, as it’s not yet all that socially acceptable. The concept of monogamy as an ideal is still very prevalent, even as many people fail to live up to it.

In spite of this, I find myself drawn to write about these issues because they effect my life so directly. And one of those issues is being ethical.

It’s not okay to be poly and not tell people, because misleading people isn’t a nice thing to do. And this can lead to a lot of rejection. People will be interested in you and seem very keen to get to know you better, until you disclose the fact that you are interested in them as an addition to your life, rather than as the center of it.

In a place with a large community like Portland, Oregon; this is not nearly as much of an issue. Sex clubs and swingers parties are normal there, and so no one thinks less of you if you’re looking to find a second or third partner in addition to the one you already have. On my recent vacation to Portland I visited Ron Jeremy’s Club Sesso for a Twisted event (Sort of a kink night) and saw plenty of couples interested in poly experiences.

1296251-night

However, in a smaller community it’s much more difficult to find people who will be accepting of alternative lifestyles. And this can lead to the temptation to lie. I admit, I have thought about it. It wouldn’t be hard to do. Casually dating someone, it’s entirely possible to never mention my husband and just sort of let them assume that I am interested in a monogamous relationship with them.

And that would be unethical.

So, I tell everyone I meet and am interested in dating that I am married and we are poly. This involves a great deal of judgement. Also, I am about 95% certain that none of the people I have told believes me. I get the feeling they are all sure I am simply cheating on my husband, and that he doesn’t REALLY know I’m on dating sites. (Which is funny because we run into each other on the dating sites we use- as we obviously would since we are looking for the same sorts of people.)

I wish I could give my fellow poly folks an easy way around this issue. I wish there was a way to determine in advance which people are comfortable with this sort of thing, so as to avoid the constant shaming I endure when explaining my lifestyle. However, as of yet, I have found no solutions.

I guess I just want to say that, even when it’s hard, it’s very important to be ethical. Don’t lie, don’t cheat, and don’t mislead unsuspecting folks. Ideals mean nothing if we abandon them when we are challenged.

Also, when I say I moved to Guam, people often ask me where the hell that is. Here’s a map to help you:

article-2279699-179F6EBE000005DC-37_634x423

Vacation

images

So, due to some personal circumstances, I find myself traveling to Portland for awhile. In theory, I leave January 15th, and I return to Guam February 15th. (But we’re flying Space A with the military so who knows? It’s a lot like catching a bus with no schedule, and when it shows up anyone more important than you can bump you off. )

SpaceAflight_tx700

I can’t be sure if I’ll be able to post much while I am away, but I hope to come back with interesting stories. Hopefully that will make up for my brief absence.

skyline1horizontal
In the meantime, wish me luck in my travels. I promise to do my best to check in!

directorspark0356

A Letter of Reference

Palace in South Korea

Palace in South Korea

Disclaimer: If we’ve been lovers then maybe don’t read this. Or if you do, don’t get offended. I mean no offense, and this isn’t about you.

I said I’d write an ex a letter of reference. Laugh if you want, but he’s still a good friend and he thought it might help him with ladies he tries to date in the future. Writing this is going to make me wish we were still dating and that I was still in Portland, Oregon. But I guess I’ll do it anyway.

I met him while he was stationed in South Korea in the Army. We went for drinks, which turned into dinner, which tuned into smoking hooka. Eventually I asked him if he wanted to come home with me.

So I brought him home. Our first time having sex was intense. I could feel him trying to figure me out. He tried a lot of interesting things and I liked all of them.

Korean Flag

Korean Flag

Over time though (I guess it took him a few weeks) he had it down to an exact science. He could get me off in 10 minutes or less, and always made it a point to do so before any penetrative sex happened. And ladies, that is the mark of a good guy. If he focuses on figuring out how to please you right off the bat, and then always makes sure you cum before him; he’s a keeper.

I had a rocket scientist who did the same thing, and I have to say, it is amazing what I will put up with from a guy who can make me cum. Seriously, looking back I know he was kind of a prick to me. But the sex… well… I would have done anything to keep having it.

Anyway my point is, Dante (as he goes by lately) is one of those guys who is just really selfless and fun in bed. And if he doesn’t know how to do what you like, he’ll learn. I was into kinky stuff and he wasn’t, so he went right out and bought rope and learned shibari without a thought or complaint. He was very motivated to make sure that he could do anything I wanted done to me. And he watched videos on flogging and other kink things so as not to be one of those annoying guys that goes “Well what do you WANT? And how do I DO all those things?”

Example of shibari

Example of shibari

I never had to explain a thing. I didn’t have to teach him to use a flogger, or show him how to make me cum, or anything the hell else. He figured it all out on his own, and did a damn good job of it.

So guys, take note; this is exactly how you please a woman. If you’re not behaving like this, then you should.

And girls, pay attention: I can’t give anyone a higher recommendation than I’m willing to give Dante. Seriously. The man is a god in bed. I don’t keep track, but I’ve had sex with somewhere around 200 people and Dante is in the top 5. When I say something is good, take in account that my pool of comparison is large.

Most sex I have is nice, but unfulfilling unless I get myself off. No offense to those I’ve slept with who were good but not god status. Cuz, sex is like pizza. Even when it’s bad, it’s still good. It’s better than NO pizza. And it still fulfills the need for touch and companionship and all that stuff. Orgasms are a bonus for us girls, as the oxytocin (bonding hormone) from just having sex is wonderful for us.

And let’s be honest, there just aren’t a lot of guys out there who focus on pleasing their partners above all else. Most people are selfish, because that is normal.

Anyway, I’d like to ask that no one take offense to this post. If I’ve had sex with you more than once, then obviously I like it. And not everyone can be a sex god, okay?

Flogger

Flogger

 

Deacon X at The Analogue Cafe

734144_568828089852861_436987530_n

 

Sunday I went to Deacon X Fetish Night at The Analogue cafe in downtown Portland.

For those who have never been to a fetish night, it is a great experience. There is usually a lot of different toys you can check out, like various whips and paddles, and a violet wand. If you’re new to kink, these “tastings” can help you figure out what you might like, and give you a chance to play in a risk-free environment without having to buy the toys first.

All new folks to the community should definitely take a night to go to a fetish event like Deacon X or a fetish prom, to have the opportunity to experiment.

I appreciate the fact that the first thing they did was put tape over both sides of my camera phone. This is to discourage pictures, since there is nudity. The girls who agree to be rope bottoms or anyone who does demos nude agree to put on a show for the guests, but NOT for the internet.

And there were some lovely performers. I particularly appreciated the girl who danced in a hula hoop suspended from the ceiling. I wish I could have found a picture online.

ShowImage

 

I also want to mention that it was my second time seeing a guy in the Portland area who goes by Nobel. I had seen him before at The Velvet Rope with my brother. He’s one of the better rope suspension artists I have seen, and that’s saying a lot coming from me. If you’re ever in Portland, I’m told he teaches rope classes, and if you’re into Shibari, you should check it out.

It was a really good night and Portland kinksters can be very friendly at events. If you happen to be in Portland on a Sunday night when Deacon X is going on, I’d recommend checking it out.

fivestar_blog4