Club Sanctuary


Oregon has a few options for swingers clubs like The Velvet Rope and Club Privata. They sometimes do kink nights with suspensions and toys, but they don’t have fully-equipped dungeons. For dungeons, there were only a few private choices like Meadhall.  If you weren’t friends with the owners, then you were stuck checking for kink events put on at various clubs like the Bossanova Ballroom.

So when I heard about Club Sanctuary opening up, I was extremely excited! Portland has needed a public dungeon space, and now they have one.

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Imagine my disappointment when I found out that they have cameras in the front room! I had just written a post about being outed and how it was NOT okay. Then I find out that this dungeon keeps video of the people who play there. That makes me extremely uncomfortable.

Now it’s true, the cameras are only in the main room. And yes, you could wear a mask and clothes that hide any visible scars or tattoos. And if that is your thing, then you should do it. My Pet had a lot of fun there playing kinky Jenga, and if you are fine with being on video at a dungeon, then I highly recommend it.

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Unfortunately, I come from a very old-school way of thinking after 20 years in the kink community, and I am not okay with being outed or risking video evidence of me in a dungeon. So, I did not go in.

I am pleased to say that Pet had a good time. He talked to the owners and said that they seem nice. And he felt that it was at least as nice as the CSPC used to be, minus the library and learning annex.

As for me, if they decide to get rid of the cameras, I will be happy to go. Until then, I can only tell you that if your personal threshold for exposure is lower than mine, you will probably like it and you should check it out.


Club Yesica in Seoul


I have written before about a sex club I attended in the Gangnam district of Seoul named Club Desire. Club Desire was my first experience with a South Korean Sex Club, and I am glad that I got the chance to see Club Yesica this time around during my brief escape from Guam.

The first time I went to Club Desire I was acting off directions I found on the Internet, and the person I spoke to had a very limited understanding of English so it was all a bit terrifying. A young girl wandering down dark alleys based on Internet directions has all the potential to go wrong, doesn’t she?

In contrast, going to Club Yesica was very easy. I simply called the number, which is +82-010-2831-9588, and a very kind man in charge of foreign guest relations was able to give me directions to a local landmark, and then come meet me in person to walk me into the club. It was far more like meeting a friend than it was like going to a sex club because of the kind welcome.

Koreans, or foreign people in possession of a Korean ID number, can go to the Korean page of the website and make a reservation. The rest of us need to call the number to make a reservation, but can visit the English version of the website for a menu. Selection and price are very similar to Club Desire. In other words, expect to spend $200 on a small bottle of whiskey because that’s your price of admission per couple. If you’re an exhibitionist like me, it’s worth the steep price.

Now I want to clear a few things up because I always get questions:

First, don’t be that guy who messages me to ask “Can I go there by myself?” There are a lot of things you can be in the world which are varying degrees of pathetic. A sex club owner might be too nice to tell you this, but I am not: Being a single guy at a sex club is the height of pathetic. You are not going to get laid because everyone else came as a couple, and no one’s fetish is letting the creepy weirdo at the bar fuck their girlfriend. So what you end up being is a sad and alone voyeur who makes everyone else uncomfortable and that is not a cool thing to be. Just don’t do it.


Yes, I am telling you that if you are a guy you need to bring a date. They have hookup clubs in Korea, and if you need to meet a girl you should go to one of them. But take a girl with you to the sex club or don’t go at all, okay?

Second, Korean sex clubs are not like US sex clubs. If you read my blog regularly, you will know that I have reviewed several US sex clubs, including The Velvet Rope and Club Sesso. These clubs are designed to have lots of dark corners and small spaces for people to sneak off to, and are more like a playground for adults to have sex in.

However, from my experince with Korean sex clubs I should warn you that they are very different. It’s just some lockers by the door (for your phone because obviously you can’t take pictures,) a bar area, and then an open room full of love seats. That’s basically it besides the bathroom.

Sex clubs in Korea also seem to be a group experience in a collective culture, so be prepared to wait and drink and smoke while everyone arrives and gets comfortable in one big room. If you wait until around 1:00am, they will all start having sex on their individual love seats, and you and your partner can do the same.

If you have sex before then, in my experience, you won’t start a trend. I am not sure why. But the last time I was at Club Desire with a partner and we had sex before it was “sexy time,” everyone just ignored us and carried on smoking and drinking.

Oh, and while my husband likes to pretend he doesn’t know the rules at Club Desire, remember that you can’t get away with that at Club Yesica. They are able to tell you the rules in English, so you have no excuse. Don’t approach couples and ask to switch partners. Use the bar tender as an intermediary. And make sure you get a towel and lay it down before you have sex so you don’t make a mess on your love seat. Try to follow the rules and be polite and respectful. According to folks at the club, Yesica knows the owner of Club Desire and the swingers scene in Korea is small. If you do anything to offend, you could find yourself kicked out of the entire scene, rather than just one club.

I have to confess that this last trip to Korea was sort of a mess because my husband got hit by a car in Seoul. I actually attended Club Yesica with a friend because my husband was too injured to make it. It was a really stressful vacation, and none of it went as planned. So, by the time I got to Club Yesica I was far too tired to stay as late as I would have needed to stay in order to have sex there. I wanted to, but I was just falling asleep on my feet by midnight.

I did get the chance to see a lot of great costumes (they were having a costume party the night I attended) and one very memorable dance by Batman. I got to check out the club, and see that it gets very busy (I was there on Friday night and they were full!) I even had a chance to talk very briefly with the owner, Yesica, who was very kind and welcoming.

I regret missing “the good part” of the night, but as I said, sometimes things just don’t go according to plan. Maybe next time I am in Korea I will be able to go back with my husband (who is expected to recover from being hit by the car.)


The Center For Sex Positive Culture



I recently went to the CSPC, (the Center for Sex Positive Culture.) I had been meaning to check it out for awhile, but of course, I never had the chance.

When I moved to Portland I vowed I would make the drive to Seattle to see what the CSPC was all about, and at long last, I finally did.

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It is everything I was told it would be. The library of both kinky books and kinky pornography was very impressive. I was pleased to see the vast array of kink resources and the helpful librarian who was more than happy to answer questions.

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She let me photograph this sign, which was awesome of her. But of course, she was very clear that I wasn’t allowed to take pictures in the dungeon space that would be posted on the internet. Sex clubs are always against cameras, (or so it seems from my travels and the places I have been) but it seemed excessive since I toured the club while it was closed and there was no people around.

I guess you’ll just have to be satisfied with pictures I found online when I Googled the club.

In addition to the library, there are two event spaces. Both include a kitchen, bathrooms, and play spaces to do scenes or have sex. It was pretty standard as far as dungeons go, and I didn’t see anything I hadn’t seen before.

The major difference is that the CSPC is not a secret club. They are registered with the city of Seattle as a kinky sex club/dungeon. And as far as I  know, they are the only such place on Earth that is open to the public. You do not have to invite yourself to this dungeon. You can just go there.

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So if you’re ever in Seattle, check it out. It’s progressive. It’s nifty. It’s not something you see every day.

Ron Jeremy’s Club Sesso in Portland


I recently went to Club Sesso, which is a sex club in Portland owned by Ron Jeremy. Club Sesso is billed as Portland’s “upscale” swingers club. And I must admit, the art on the walls is nice, the walls themselves are nice, and the place is very polished and well designed. It does look very classy. I enjoyed the signs on the walls reminding people not too be creepy, since I think sometimes people at sex clubs DO need reminding of that fact, and I was very impressed with the fancy showers and the buffet of food.


Now, I went on a kink night, which is different than their other nights. They have pajama parties and other themes, and most days it’s a black tie kind of affair that people get really dressed up for. But on Kink night I’m told the crowd is less… shall we say “fancy.” This is because it’s one of the rare nights where you can get in without buying a year membership.

The prices are steep. It’s $100 for couples, $150 for single guys, and $50 for single women, not including nightly door fees. And the dress code is usually pretty strict too. This combines to make the kink nights something of a free-for-all since the admission on those nights is only $20 and the dress code is more lax. I saw people in jeans and T-shirts, which I am told is never normally allowed.

Of course there are no cameras permitted inside, and they have lockers to keep your things in while you play. In most regards, it is similar to other sex clubs like Club Desire or The Velvet Rope. But in some ways it is very different.


Club Sesso is like a dance club. The music is loud enough that you have to shout over it, and it was techno the night I was there. It’s also crowded. I was told that most nights it hosts about 200 people. I went on a Thursday and I am sure that there were that many people there.

It’s also a lot less secret than other sex clubs. It’s right in the middle of downtown Portland and there is all kinds of celebrity branding going on because the owner is (let’s face it) perhaps the biggest name in Pornography.


I talked to several people who just go here to watch, so I also found that to be pretty different from most sex cubs that I have been to. That, combined with the massive crowds and the loud music, did not make it feel like a sex club. It made it feel like a dance club here sex was permitted.

There are private rooms, and a couple had sex next to me while I was plopped down on the couch relaxing because that’s okay too. The friendly DM staff keeps a careful eye on things that go on to make sure that it is all safe, sane, and consensual. You give your real name and ID at the door, and sign a form promising to accept full liability for everything you see and do inside.

I went with a date, but chose not to have sex there. Unlike most sex clubs I have been to, it didn’t seem heated. In fact, there seemed to be air conditioning going (or at least chilly night air being pumped in.) I was too cold to take my coat off, let alone all of my clothes. In addition, the rooms were mostly full and my date was not the type to fuck on a couch in front of people.

I think a lot of people have a lot of fun there every day, and that’s awesome. It’s certainly a sex-positive environment and I think the DMs were doing a great job and the bar staff was very snappy, as were the serving staff stocking the buffet. It seemed very clean and professional.

As for the loud music and the cold air; I’m sure some people like that kind of thing. Maybe I’m just getting old?

Also, I learned that Ron Jeremy has his own rum.


An Orgy I Went To


So while I was on vacation I went to an orgy. (I also went ice fishing and to an amusement park, but I guess you guys don’t want to hear about that, huh?)

First: It’s kind of hard to define what an orgy is. This was 6 couples (or 12 people) who started out just switching partners with each other and ended up sort of just having sex with everything around. I have no idea if it was planned or not, because my pet and I were the only English speakers there. It seemed unplanned, so I’m going to assume it just started out with some couples at a sex club and ended with a more orgy-like setting.

When I told my friends I was at an orgy, they had several questions. So I’ll write this post as a question and answer, since it seems like a fair format to do this topic in.

1. How many people did you have sex with?

Um… I’m not really sure. It’s all kind of a blur. I’m pretty sure that I had sex with all of them. But you know, it’s a dimly lit room and not everyone is memorable. It’s not like we got to exchanging names or talking about our lives with each other.

2. Was it fun?

A lot of it was fun, yes. I had some really interesting sex. And of course, it was all Asians, so I got to be the hot foreign girl with the big, blue eyes and the shaved pussy. Asian men go nuts over a shaved pussy. They all want to pet it and rub lube on it and stuff because Asian women don’t usually shave.

It was also fun from the perspective of watching my pet, which I always enjoy doing. I don’t mean to brag, but my pet has 6-pack abs, a beautifully toned body, and a huge cock. He is way hotter than the guys in porn. And yes, I do know how lucky I am. So watching him walk around, watching him fuck, and anything else I ever watch him do is just awesome. And anyway he gets this “sex smile” that is so brilliant and lights up my whole world.


3. What about STDs?

This is a very valid question. Yes, I do worry about STDs. That’s why I use condoms. All the guys were annoyed about this because they weren’t using them with the other girls. But I insisted and they complied. My pet had the same experience with the girls, who saw him reach for a condom and said they didn’t like it, but he put it on anyway.

Still, STDs are spread from skin-to-skin contact and they are caught from oral sex as well as vaginal and anal sex. It’s totally possible to get something even using condoms and dental dams and being careful. So when I got home to the USA I went and got a full STD panel. Some of the tests require a wait of a few weeks before you can take them, so always ask your doctor if it’s too soon to take certain tests. My doctor thought it was silly of me to wait for the AIDS test, because he said it’s rare that it’s takes longer than a week or two to show up in your blood. But he agreed that it’s okay to be cautious and told me to come back in a few weeks for that one.

I do this all the time. I have been tested for STDs at least 40 times in my life. The tests have not always come back negative, but everything I have ever caught was easy to treat. Yes, I worry every single time.

But here’s the thing; I am not willing to live my life according to fears of what might happen. I am as careful as anyone can be given my lifestyle, and I am accepting of the fact that it might not be enough. I fly in planes even though they sometimes crash. I drive a car even though sometimes car accidents happen. I went skydiving even though sometimes parachutes don’t open. And I went to an orgy even though I might get an STD.

Some of my friends feel that this is irresponsible behavior. Maybe so. But I like sex, and I like unique situations involving sex. I feel that the risk is small, and that it is worth it. You may make a different choice, and that is okay too.

4. How do I get to be part of an orgy?

It’s funny because the ones I have been part of were surprise situations. I think it usually is. I don’t think there are a lot of planned orgies. (Though there are a lot of swingers clubs for older married folks.) I do not think I can answer this question. All I can say is; you increase your chances when you hang out in certain types of places around certain types of people.

5. Were there any negative parts?

Yes, there was one. A sort of overzealous guy was watching me and another guy have sex, and he tried to stick his fingers inside of me (while the other guy was inside of me). He had finger nails, and they cut me. This was actually when I tagged out of the orgy and left everyone to their fun.

6. Would you do it again?

Yes! With the exception of the very end, it was actually a lot of fun. I know it’s uncharacteristic for a girl to admit to even liking sex, let alone promiscuous orgy sex. But, it was fun! There was one point where I had 3 guys around me all playing with me at once and I felt like a total sex goddess. It was just like being in a porn. I love sex that feels just like a porn.

I'm including a frog orgy at the end because I have a terrible sense of humor and because the picture made me laugh

I’m including a frog orgy at the end because I have a terrible sense of humor and because the picture made me laugh

The Velvet Rope


Last week, I went to The Velvet Rope, a sex club at 3533 SE Ceaser Chavez Blvd in Portland. First, I will give it props for being easy to find. They have a nice size sign and a decent -size parking lot. (Although it curves around behind a Wells Fargo in kind of a weird way.)

Unlike other sex clubs I have been to, The Velvet Rope promotes themselves. They even have a promo on Youtube. Fancy!

Disclaimer: This video was made by the club and it kind of exaggerates what will probably happen. It may suggest the clientele is slightly younger and a bit more attractive than what I observed.

When you walk in, you pay a membership fee your first time. I paid $20 for a year, and it was free to get in because I am female. I believe couples pay $40 and single guys pay $80 to get in.

The Velvet Rope is a maze of rooms that is easy to get lost in. It’s a fascinating labyrinth of turns and corners. I’ll give you the best walk-through that I can.

This is not a picture of the club. This is just what it felt like on my first time through. Props if you get the reference.

This is not a picture of the club. This is just what it felt like on my first time through. Props if you get the reference.

As you enter, the couples area is to your right, and the hot tub to your left. Straight through is a common room where BDSM stuff was set up because it was kink night via a group called “Red Cheeks” here in Portland. Then, up the stairs, there is a common area with pool tables and a bar. Off of that is the smoking area, and then the “education room” where they play porn on the wall.

There are showers and bathrooms upstairs and down, if you feel dirty and you think water will fix that.

The main thing I found surprising was all the private rooms.

Most sex clubs I have been to are a room or rooms with places to sit or have sex, but all those places are in public areas. You go to a sex club to watch people, and to have them watch you. Well, and to switch partners. All of those things are harder when everyone is off in their own rooms.

That’s just my opinion though.

So I met a man I’ll call Mr. Grayson and decided that he was perfect to test out The Velvet Rope with.


To help you imagine (if you do that sort of thing) Mr. Greyson looks like a slightly older, blue-eyed version of Zachary Quinto.

We chose one of the private rooms in the “couples” suite, rather than in the upstairs suite. There was a sheet provided to put down over the vinyl mat that serves as a bed, and curtains to cover the window if we wanted so people couldn’t see in. We choose not to cover the window, but to adopt a position that only showed our feet. He says people were watching anyhow, so perhaps we have interesting feet.

There was a basket of condoms provided, which I was glad for because I forgot my stash at home.

We had sex, which I know I usually always describe in detail on here. But for once… I want to keep the details to myself.

The best I can do is to say it was like this but with more feeling.

The best I can do is to say it was like this but with more feeling

Picture sensual sex. Slow and intense. Picture bodies moving together like big fish in a small bowl, somehow touching at every point possible as if melting together. And picture a moment; brief but charged with electricity, where he buried his head against me and I could feel him nearly overcome with emotion as I held his head against my heart.

Skip to the end, and we took the sheet off the bed and put it in a clothes hamper at the end of the hall. Then a club employee came by to clean the vinyl mat and provide a new clean sheet for the next couple, as per club policy.

It is a neat place, and I should mention that it’s got loads of cool history that you can read about shortly when the article (not by me) comes out in Erotic Magazine

This club is a fun place to spend an evening and a fun place to have sex with someone you just met. I highly recommend it.

Note: They do serve alcohol (and have snacks.) If you like to drink, plan to take a cab or have a designated driver. And remember to drink in moderation because no one likes the pushy trashed asshole at a sex club. 


Directions to Seoul’s Best Secret; “Club Desire”

flickr photo by said&done -

I haven’t been writing much about my weekly adventures, because I spent my summer traveling and I’m still getting settled in my new home. I have been SO BUSY!

However, my summer was really wild and I’ll give you one detail for now. The best part of it was getting to visit Club Desire in Seoul, South Korea one more time with my favorite pet. I realize I’ve never given very detailed information before (since I was always writing about the sex). So, now to tell you how to get there yourself:

Club Desire is located in Gangnam, which is a fancy neighborhood that is sort of like the Beverly Hills of Seoul. I’m sure you’ve heard of Gangnam because Psy made it famous with a song he wrote to make fun of the style-over-substance culture there. (If you think you’re sick of that song and you’re living in the USA, I promise you, you have no idea how much worse it was living in Korea when it came out.)

Anyway, to get to Club Desire, first, you have to make a reservation before you go. If you don’t get someone who speaks English the first time, try again later or have a Korean-speaking friend call for you.  The number is 010-2473-8433. You can visit their website if you speak Korean, but if you are a foreigner I’m afraid it’s not much help.

A business card from the club

A business card from the club

To get there, you take the line 7 subway to the Gangnam-Gu office stop. Go out exit 3. Walk straight out of the subway, and turn right at the first road. You will walk a bit up a hill, then go left at the first road. Then you’ll be walking downhill. On the right side of the road, look for a small sign that says “Bar S Live.” It looks a little like the entrance to an apartment building, and the area is a tiny bit sketchy. Up a few stairs, you’ll see a pad with a button to push; like an old-school apartment buzzer.

Push the button and say the name that you gave when you made your reservation. They will buzz you in. Then you’ll walk down into a basement. Go down to the bar, and pay to get a drink set. The prices are listed by 10,000, as per Koreans way of writing prices. This means that if you order a Jack Daniels set for “16,” you will pay 160,000 Korean Won.

After you pay for your drink set, you will be given a key and asked to put everything in a locker. You can keep condoms, lube, sex toys, and cigarettes with you. You can also keep some money or your whole wallet if you really think it’s necessary. I find it’s best to stuff as much of your clothes and belongings in the locker as you can, so none of it gets in your way while you’re having sex. Things get knocked over, glass gets broken, and it’s best to keep personal belongs out of harm’s way.

Of course, the main reason they want everything in a locker is to keep you from having any cameras or recording devices while you are there. Famous people visit this club, as do well-respected pillars of the community. No one wants their face to end up on a sex tape. If you’re really worried you can wear one of the masks hanging by the entrance to make it harder to recognize your face. But in my experience, Koreans are very respectful of rules, and of privacy.

Things to remember: It’s encouraged that you ask the bartender to talk to a couple before trying to swing with them. And it is all couples, so bring a partner. Sometimes they have wrist bands of different colors to indicate different preferences. If you’re unsure of any of the rules, ask the bar tender. If you do switch, what out! Many of the Koreans there have not seemed to think condoms were important. I would urge you all to remember that they really, really are. And of course, try to be polite because if you are a foreign person there, you are representing all of us, so don’t be an asshole!

Pet and I had a great time. We encounter three girls who squirted, were poured champagne by strangers, and all sorts of other cool stuff. I may write about it when I have a moment to really immerse myself in the memory. For now, I thought I’d make this an educational post for those who hope to visit a Korean sex club.


Club Desire



Finding kink in various places around the world can sometimes be challenging. Sex clubs are usually the best kept secret of a city. I’m going to write a short review of a place called Club Desire in Gangnam (a district of Seoul).

Basically, it’s a “secret” club where you make a reservation (via the web site), go there and have a drink, and then when the club fills up you have sex. I guess it’s not very kinky. They have paddles and whips hanging on one wall, but no one has ever used them when I was there. If you’re kink isn’t Voyeurism or being an Exhibitionist, you may not like it. It’s really just the chance to watch others have sex and let others watch you.

The last time I went, I took a friend who was visiting from the USA. He had been interested in the idea of having sex in front of people. Sadly, he got very nervous once we were actually there and couldn’t really stay hard. It happens sometimes, yeah? So instead he went down on me for ages while the people around us watched me squirm and scream. In fact, a few couples even had the bar tender come up and ask if we would swap. (Swinging happens at this club, but you can’t approach a couple directly. You have to have the bartender serve as an intermediary.)

Anyway, I have always had fun at this club. Most people I have taken have been too nervous to enjoy it because they have not had a lot of public sex. However, there are great moments. I was watching this one couple last time I was there and the girl was beautiful. When she came she screamed “씨발!” in such a sexy way… (That’s kind of like the Korean equivalent of “Fuck.”)

As long as you remember to keep calm and enjoy the scenery, I think you’ll have a good time!