The Sex Club Problem

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I have been to sex clubs all over the world, from Paris to Portland. I used to work in a dungeon. And, in all my time enjoying kink clubs and swinger’s clubs, there has always been a huge problem: Single men.

Now, some men (you know the type) will immediately challenge this statement by asking what a man even is in these “crazy times” and then babble on about equality and how women don’t really want it because blah blah blah.

I’m going to dismiss those MRA arguments out of hand, because no one on The Red Pill should be going to sex clubs. If you don’t respect women, then you shouldn’t get to have sex with them. I firmly believe that the best way to deal with men who look down on women is to make sure that they never, ever get to touch another vagina as long as they live.

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For the rest of us who are not complete assholes, we know what I mean when I say that single men are a problem at sex clubs.

Picture this: You go to a club with your wife, and you are excited to find a couple to swing with. You talk to a few people, and one couple agrees. You’ve been fantasizing about it for years, and it’s like a dream come true to actually have the chance to play out this scenario.

Unfortunately, it’s very hard to enjoy it in real life because there are three single guys watching you and wacking off, and they keep trying to touch the ladies without permission.

We’ve all been there. If you’ve been to a few sex clubs, then you have had to deal with the creepy single guy. He wasn’t cool enough to get a girl to go with him, but the club let him in anyway, and now he’s just being a creeper. (Not that any guy ever thinks he’s being a creeper, but so many of them are ALL THE TIME.)

This is why single guys ruin sex clubs.

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Now, this is largely a masculinity problem. Guys are not encouraged to be bisexual because it’s not “manly.” This is a crying shame, because it means that men often never try sex with another man. I mean, you might not be attracted to men as romantic partners, but getting fucked in the ass feels good for men. That’s where their g-spot is. So sex with men would definitely have a place in the world if men would stop being so desperately repressed about their sexuality and teaching their sons to be the same way.

Alas!- This is the world we live in. Most men don’t go to sex clubs hoping for a threesome with their wife and another guy. Mostly, they go hoping for a threesome with their wife and another girl. I’m not saying that it’s right; I’m just saying it’s how it is. And if the club lets in single men, they tend to stand around peerving on everyone else because no one wants them to join in.

How can we solve this?

Well, Club Desire is Seoul solves this by not letting any single people in. All people must come in couples or MFF triads. Yes, this does make threesomes harder to have. But there is no reason you can’t get creative with fun configurations in a foursome. Is this the best solution? Maybe not. But it works. There are never any creepy single men hovering around and being grabby at Club Desire.

Meanwhile, sex clubs in the US tend to solve this by charging a small fee for single women, a larger fee for couples, and the highest fee of all for single men. This tends to balance out the numbers a little better, and it helps avoid too many sweaty guys ruining your scenes by getting underfoot and trying to cop a feel.

But how should we solve this?

If you ask me, the best possible way would be to attack the underlying problem, which is the Patriarchy.

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See, the patriarchy ruins sex clubs in two ways:

1. It tells men that gay sex is “sissy stuff” and that it is “not manly” so that men mostly don’t hook up with men. This is too bad. If single men at sex clubs were hooking up with each other, they wouldn’t be harassing all the women there and making a scene. Everyone is a little bi-curious, and it’s not like having gay sex makes you gay. It’s just a fun thing to try; like wormwood or LSD.

2. Women tend to have to be dragged to sex clubs by their significant others. However, I know lots of women who would really like to go to a sex club. Even some of my vanilla friends from college would be really, really down to play if they thought it was “okay.” The problem is that Patriarchy tells them that it is not okay. It slut-shames them and tells them that their worth is tied to their sexual fidelity and purity. In other words: Most women have a gangbang fantasy, but very few feel that they can live it out because men shame them for even thinking it.

And by the way: Why is that?!? Men, you watch gangbang porn and think it’s hot. Why would you shame a woman for doing it when you love to watch women do it?

This is why those of us that enjoy sex clubs should all be feminists.

The idea behind feminism is to dismantle the patriarchy and create true equality. That means letting men feel safe experimenting with same-sex hookups, and it means ending slut-shaming so that women can be the crazy-sexual creatures that we are on the inside.

So that’s my plan. I’ll need your help, but I think we can do it. Let’s dismantle the patriarchy and fight for true equality. We can save sex clubs by dismantling the patriarchy and bring the dreams of feminists into reality.

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Best Of Post

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Well, it’s time for those of us who use the Western Calendar to think about the new year. I suppose those who use the Lunar Calendar might be thinking ahead as well. Anyway, it’s the time of year when you see a lot of “Best Of” posts.

So, I decided to do the Best of the Magically Delicious Super Slut. That way, you can send a link to this post to your friends who aren’t already reading, and they will perhaps be impressed enough to come back.

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The most popular posts are always sex club reviews. You guys sure want to get out and fuck in front of people, don’t you? Unfortunately I have only lived in two countries, so most of my reviews are from those countries. There’s Club Desire and Club Yesica in South Korea, and then The Velvet Rope, The CSPC, and Club Sesso in the US. You should definitely let me know if you want to write a guest post about a sex club you have been to somewhere else. I would love to add to the collection.

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I put a lot of work into my Fetish Series. I’ll be honest; I am probably on an FBI watch list for Googling some of those things. However, it was a good series that covered a lot of ground, and I think it worked well to illustrate the point that there is a lot out there in terms of fetishes, and none of it is inherent bad.

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I have always been a huge supporter of women’s rights, and I am a huge fan of women standing up for themselves. So, you should definitely read about why Slut Shaming is Wrong. Lots of folks didn’t get the message and continued to send ignorant comments my way, so then I wrote Slut Shaming is Still Wrong. They are still some of my favorites.

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Of course I feel far too fondly about the post I wrote a few months after my wedding. It was a long-standing joke among my friends that no one would ever “catch me,” and that nothing on Earth could drag me to the alter. When I finally did get married, (only with the promise of an open relationship,) I was surprised to find that my friends were traditionalists in many ways, and expected me to conform to typical social conventions.

Of course there is a lot of educational stuff too, but I suppose you can find that on pretty much every kink blog these days, so it’s not really what makes me unique.

So now you have a Best Of post to show your friends, and if you missed any of those posts, maybe now you can take a second to check them out. Happy New Year!

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Watching My Husband Have Sex

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One of the things people talk about when they advocate for monogamy is about picturing their lovers having sex with someone else. They say they simply can not handle the thought; that it is too awful to think about. Often, in a relationship, the parties involved begin to feel a sort of ownership of each other, and of course this extends to sex.

In fact, I have seen jealousy in the many extremes over the course of my lifetime. Once, a member of my D&D party found himself kicked out of his home by his girlfriend. I offered my couch as a place to stay until he sorted out what to do, and inadvertently opened myself up to the private details of his relationship as they continued to fight in my hallway long after he had moved out. He was vocal about he details.

It seems that she felt that even looking at another woman on the street was cheating, as was watching pornography and talking to other girls. When they had been together, she had gone so far as to “supervise” our D&D quests, sitting in while not playing just to make sure he wasn’t looking at any of the female players while he played his character.

It is not my wish to judge this type of relationship. Cheating is whatever you and your partner agree to, and that can be anything from emotional connections with others to physical love. It can be anything from your subscription to Playboy, to talking to a female coworker. And where you set limits in your relationship is none of my business.

However, I would like to say that just as I am willing to respect your right to consider pornography cheating if you wish, I think it’s also important to consider the other side of things. Perhaps my standards for what is considered “cheating” can be equally valid to your own?

With that said, I happen to really enjoy watching my husband have sex with people other than myself.

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For us, cheating is defined as lying to the other person about a relationship. It’s fine to form emotional attachments with other people (I was rather attached to my recent boyfriends in Portland, and he’s been attached to many of his lovers as well.) But we were always honest about it.

I think we knew at some point along the way that we share a bond that is unique for both of us; one of mutual love and respect that is somehow deeper than other attachments that we form. I couldn’t explain why. It’s still too new for me to understand. It will be three years in the spring, and in that time I can’t say I’ve ever really figured out how it works. We are just alike in a way that is fundamental to who we are, and it allows us to understand each other in a way that is comfortable and fun for us both.

As it turns out, we both enjoy going to sex cubs, having threesomes, and other variants on “traditional” sex. And this has allowed me opportunities to see my husband in ways that I couldn’t see him if we were exclusive. I have been able to watch him whisper in another girl’s ear during an orgy, telling her that she was beautiful and asking if she would like to have sex. And I have been able to watch her giggle and say yes, and then to see him take her in his arms and watch how things played out. Seeing him so completely enthralled in what he was doing at the time; the way he forgot about the room full of people and saw only her… and to see him so focused, in a way he never is about anything but sex…

To me, it was fascinating. And certainly it made him seem more attractive to me. Here were these beautiful girls, far prettier than me, excited to have sex with him. Moaning in pleasure. Laying back, closing their eyes, and giving themselves over to the moment…

When I see my husband that way, it reminds me how beautiful he is. It makes the silly things fade away. Yes, he drops food on the floor when he eats. Yes, he will leave all his clothes in a pile (clean and dirty!), smelling them to see if he can wear them. He has habits that I find perplexing or don’t entirely understand. But those are silly things. What do they really matter?

Another occasion where we had a threesome with a stunningly beautiful girl in Korea, I was watching them have sex after I had played with her, and I was amazed at how they were more beautiful than people in a porn. And yet here they were, giving me this little private show. And I got to see them at their most vulnerable, and in such a state of being laid bare before me, in every sense. And they were just gorgeous.

It’s not the same as the cuckold phenomenon, where a person enjoys being deprived while their partner engages in sexual contact with someone else. I couldn’t find a name for our fetish. We just enjoy seeing every aspect of one another. We like to see how we each behave, from up close and at a distance. And we like to see other people be charmed by each other.

All I know is, when I watch people have sex with my husband, or fall in love with my husband, or laugh at his jokes even; I am proud beyond words. And it reminds me how great he is, and how lucky I am to have him. It reminds me that his good points far outweigh anything bad, and that the relationship will always be worth the effort I put in, because I get so much back.

Lately I have been on a military base around a lot of monogamous people who think that my husband and I can’t possible love each other, because we have an open relationship. And this does seem to be a common view. But somehow, for us, it is the opposite. We love each other more, because other people love us too.

So I guess that I’m just asking once again for tolerance. Everyone is different, and each relationship is unique. Let’s remember that, and try to respect everyone’s unique view of life.

 

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Portland

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My summer was full of travel in the form of road trips and overseas flights. I saw cool places, had sex with awesome people, and all-in-all it was a great summer.

However, it’s time to settle down. It’s time to pick a place and stay for awhile. I’m pulling up a patch of the universe and calling it home. And that patch of the Universe is Portland, Oregon in the USA.

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I’ve only just arrived. I haven’t had time to go to a munch yet or check out one of the many sex clubs that Portland is meant to have. Hell, I have barely had the chance to hang my clothes up in my new closet!

If you are from Portland or you are living there now, please feel free to suggest cool places and cool things to do. I am all ears.

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After some very tropical weather in Korea and a terrible dry heat in the desert, I admit that I this 70 degree weather in Portland is all I can think about right now. It’s so fucking pretty outside that I can hardly stand it!

So my first adventures out of the house where to Oxbow Park and Eagle Creek, and various other forest trips.

But if you just give me a week or two to enjoy the amazing weather, I promise to get serious about meeting the folks in the kink scene here.

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I’ll get to the kink scene right after this next hiking trail…