There is something really sexy about the idea of having sex with someone that you don’t know. The anonymous aspect is just so exciting because it’s irresponsible, dangerous, and stupid.
However, something I learned ages ago with one of my favorite exes is that with a little imagination, you can absolutely have sex with strangers without actually doing it
I used to ask him about the kind of girls that he always wanted to fuck, but would never date. As a geek, he couldn’t imagine being in a relationship with someone who didn’t read and have an avid interest in science. However, that didn’t mean that he wasn’t into the idea of fucking the kind of girl who –How shall I put this?– Um, the kind of girl who watches TV shows about celebrities and follows girls who do makeup tutorials on YouTube.
So I got a blonde wig because stereotypes, and some slutty preppy clothes. I bought some makeup that was in those nude shades real girls wear (rather than my signature purple.) And, I did a glance over some really inane topics of conversation.
Meanwhile, he asked me what kind of guy I wanted to fuck but would never date. That’s actually hard for me because I just go for people who interest me and it doesn’t matter what they are like. I’m one of those annoying people who thinks everyone has redeeming qualities. But, since I got to order up a little variety, I asked for a cowboy. Yes, I insisted on the hat, the boots, and that southern drawl (which I actually think is really sexy under some circumstances because of this court jester from the Renaissance Festival this one time…)
Anyway, we agreed to “meet” at a bar. Then we got dressed separately (me at a friend’s house.) When I got there, I pulled up a stool at the bar and ordered a drink. A girl down the bar started a conversation with me, and I had to think my character out more than I thought I would have to all of a sudden. Turns out her name was Candy and she was from a small town in Ohio. She came to Phoenix to go to cosmetology school so she could be a hairdresser.
Just when I was running out of information on Candy, a cowboy sidled up to the bar and ordered a whiskey, straight up. He was perfect. My T-shirt wearing geek had transformed into a guy wearing a clothes that actually let you see his abs! He tipped his hat to me and said “Hey there, little lady. Can I buy you a drink?” Of course I ordered the most absurd drink in the bar, filled with enough sugar to kill a horse. (That is what Candy would do, after all.)
We had a few drinks, and then “Clive” suggested in a perfectly charming way that we go and get ourselves a room for the night. By the time we got back to the room, we were both tipsy and really getting into our characters. And when we had sex, it was just like fucking someone else.
I tell you this because I have a lot of people write to me and say that the passion has gone out of their relationships. They ask what they can do to bring it back. I have lots of suggestions, and have given quite a few in the past. However, this is one of my favorite ways to have a really good night with the person you love. Ironically, it is by pretending to be with someone else. But hey; if it works, it works; you know?