Best Of Post

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Well, it’s time for those of us who use the Western Calendar to think about the new year. I suppose those who use the Lunar Calendar might be thinking ahead as well. Anyway, it’s the time of year when you see a lot of “Best Of” posts.

So, I decided to do the Best of the Magically Delicious Super Slut. That way, you can send a link to this post to your friends who aren’t already reading, and they will perhaps be impressed enough to come back.

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The most popular posts are always sex club reviews. You guys sure want to get out and fuck in front of people, don’t you? Unfortunately I have only lived in two countries, so most of my reviews are from those countries. There’s Club Desire and Club Yesica in South Korea, and then The Velvet Rope, The CSPC, and Club Sesso in the US. You should definitely let me know if you want to write a guest post about a sex club you have been to somewhere else. I would love to add to the collection.

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I put a lot of work into my Fetish Series. I’ll be honest; I am probably on an FBI watch list for Googling some of those things. However, it was a good series that covered a lot of ground, and I think it worked well to illustrate the point that there is a lot out there in terms of fetishes, and none of it is inherent bad.

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I have always been a huge supporter of women’s rights, and I am a huge fan of women standing up for themselves. So, you should definitely read about why Slut Shaming is Wrong. Lots of folks didn’t get the message and continued to send ignorant comments my way, so then I wrote Slut Shaming is Still Wrong. They are still some of my favorites.

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Of course I feel far too fondly about the post I wrote a few months after my wedding. It was a long-standing joke among my friends that no one would ever “catch me,” and that nothing on Earth could drag me to the alter. When I finally did get married, (only with the promise of an open relationship,) I was surprised to find that my friends were traditionalists in many ways, and expected me to conform to typical social conventions.

Of course there is a lot of educational stuff too, but I suppose you can find that on pretty much every kink blog these days, so it’s not really what makes me unique.

So now you have a Best Of post to show your friends, and if you missed any of those posts, maybe now you can take a second to check them out. Happy New Year!

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End of Year Thoughts and Wishes.

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First, even though I write about my husband and our poly relationship all the time, it seems like I still get people being surprised/upset when they find out that I am married. So just to clear that one up, I am still married, and social conventions are still dicks.

Though I haven’t been able to date much since I got stuck on Guam, I still think slut-shaming is wrong (and that’s one of my best posts in all my years blogging.)

I update my lists of people you should check out and books you should read all the time, so make sure to check those out if you are looking for resources. I even have a whole subcategory of just book reviews.

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I have been meeting a lot of folks on Guam, and this has definitely led to some posts about how women are people and you need to talk to them like people, but also a lot of posts about helping people learn about kink.

All in all, it’s been a good year. I can’t believe it’s been so long since I started this blog just to amuse a friend who pestered me to share what I knew. He’s off in South America somewhere now with his wife, and for some reason, I am still writing.

Well, I guess I do it for those of you who read, since wordpress gets all the ad revenue and I don’t get a dime. No matter. Thanks for reading! Cheers to your 2016!

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A Reminder

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The woman above is expressing disgust. Let’s talk about why.

A friend of mine is looking to date, and I am very protective of her, so I want to write a reminder to the men out there who still don’t know how to talk to women, in spite of my repeating writing of helpful posts on the subject.

She is a submissive woman. She gets pleasure from serving men in both sexual and nonsexual ways. (So cooking and cleaning and laundry in addition to blow jobs and holding still for a spanking.)

These type of women are hard to come by, and they are very valuable. If you have the opportunity to talk to one of them, you don’t want to screw it up by being an idiot. So here are some things you should not do:

 

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Do not approach a submissive woman as though you already have a D/S relationship with her. Remember that submission is a choice, and because these woman are rare, they have every right to be very selective. You need to talk to them like they are people, because even though some men don’t realize it, women actually are people.

Do not treat them like they are a slut. First, slut shaming is wrong. But beyond that, you have no idea how often she dates or how many guys she has been with. Kinky does not equal many partners. It can, but it is not a forgone conclusion. She might act like a whore for you, but that is not how you talk to her. It is not what she is. It’s part of a scene she plays.

Do not approach a woman in such a way that shows you are trying to assert your dominance. Only bad Doms have to try too hard by asserting their dominance in conversation. Good Doms carry themselves in such a way that they don’t need to say a word to be recognized for what they are, and if you try to assert your dominance you just seem like a noob and a prick. No one will want you, nor should they.

Do not approach a potential submissive in an overly aggressive way. Remember that men’s biggest fears when going on a date is that the girl will be fat. (Source: every reddit thread and men’s magazine on Earth.) Meanwhile women are afraid of being raped and murdered because that actually happens all the time. So while your biggest fear is 20 extra pounds, women go into dates fearing for their lives, and you need to respect that and treat them respectfully and kindly up front.

 

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So what should you do?

Well, start by asking them questions about what they are looking for, and telling them what you are looking for. This will help you to decide if you are compatible. Remember: You need to talk to them like they are a person. I can not stress this enough. Women are people, okay? So you need to treat them like people. Yes, they are going to have opinions. No, this is not bad. Even submissive women are not meant to be subjugated and denied thoughts and feelings. You earn the submission of a submissive women, you don’t just get it because you think you are a Dom (nor should you.)

Remember to listen to them and what they want. Take their ideas into consideration when planning a scene. Let them choose what toys they are comfortable with and what toys they are not ready for yet or may never want to try. And then, get this, listen to and respect what they say.

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I have talked to a lot of men online. I do write a blog as a Dominatrix, and I have been in the kink community for nearly 20 years now. So that is why I need to emphasize these points so much, because I know first hand that there are a lot of men out there who don’t understand this. They are the creepy guys at munches, reeking of desperation and anger because they can’t get a sub and they don’t know why. They are the guys who take to the internet and harass women online because they are frustrated that they can’t get a woman in real life. They are the losers. And not only do women like my friend need to be protected from them, but they need to be told what they are doing wrong because all of us in the community are ashamed of these guys. They make us all look bad. Every scene has those one or two dudes that no one wants at the munch or play party because they suck. And those guys need to learn not to suck, for the sake of the community as a whole.

Don’t be the guy that makes women look disgusted and upset. Don’t be the weirdo.

However, if you can follow these few very simple rules, you will end up with the thing you want most, which is a submissive like my friend who will cook for you and devote herself to pleasing you. You may have to earn it, but it’s absolutely worth it when you do.

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